ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Three Reasons You Can't Fix Your Relationship

Updated on June 3, 2019
EvieSparkes profile image

Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer, and company director from the UK.

When It's Time to Give Up on And Move On

There comes a time when what is broken cannot be fixed. You've tried to sort it out, but it's gone way beyond counselling and no amount of couples talks is going to result in anything close to reconciliation.

Shouldn't You Just Keep Trying to Repair the Relationship?

This is absolutely subjective. You might want to keep trying, especially if young children are involved. You might have had enough of the rows and the long silences however. When you are stuck in the same old cycle, and have tried everything then it just might be time to call it a day.

When There is Contempt in a Relationship

Contempt has to be the hardest issue to overcome. It's a harsh and destructive emotion and no good can come of it. I'd like to shake anyone living with contempt and point out that they are the one hurting, they are the one drinking down the poison, therefore it stands to reason that they are going to feel angry and frustrated most of the time.

Your issues have built up over many years and you've never attempted to address them, rather put up with unacceptable behaviour from your partner because it was easier at the time. Now you can't fathom why you let things carry on for as long as you did. You are full of contempt for your other half and resentment on top of that. How do you get over that and move on? I'm not sure there's any satisfactory resolve to either resentment or contempt. You'd have to really want to let it go and your partner would have to be extremely supportive while you dealt with releasing it.

Blame in Relationships

If you hold your partner responsible for the lack of anything in your life, you probably shouldn't. We make our own way in life, we are responsible for ourselves. If something your partner did had a negative impact on you, if you feel you missed out on a career because you had kids young, if he went out and left you holding the baby more than a couple of nights a week....

All of these things need to be addressed as and when they are happening. Not addressing them and leaving them until they turn around and around inside of you, churning momentum all the while, is going to end in heart-ache at some point.

Chronic Infidelity in a Relationship

When you have been living with a person that constantly looks elsewhere for excitement or is an opportunistic adulterer (who takes every opportunity) there is little chance of happiness.

Chronic infidelity erodes your confidence and self-esteem, it can make you feel worthless, wondering what is wrong with you, when really there is something wrong with your partner.

You are worth more, you are being used and you deserve better. But you know that, of course you do. Knowing this and being prepared to do something about though, are two different things. Everyone is different and everyone has their breaking point.

It's Their Entitlement

Chronic betrayers rarely stop of their own accord. Often they feel as if they are entitled to sleep with other people. They see it as a human right to do exactly as they please and they have little or no regard for the hurt they are causing you. Those partners that continue to betray you even after they've been caught really do not respect your relationship. It's not personal, they'd be unfaithful if they were married to Angelina Jolie. It's about sex, nothing more than something other than the average life they hold in contempt.

Most people eventually give up on trying to fix a relationship full of infidelity. They finally get to a point of no return. They hit their brick wall, they can't pass through it and even if they could, they aren't sure they have the energy or the will for the fight and the inevitable exhaustion that infidelity causes.

Time to Accept It's Over

In either of these circumstances, you might be better off accepting that it's time to move on. Some people are afraid of being alone, and consider this sort of life better than the alternative.

Some things are broken beyond repair. Even Harry Potter's magic wand cannot save a relationship covered in so many bruises and scars. Life is short and you are worth all of the good things you dream of.

relationships are about mutual respect and compromise. Chuck some love in there and a good dose of fun and that's what makes a relationship.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)