- Gender and Relationships
Three Things To Check Before Getting Serious With A Potential Love
Blowing A Kiss
© 2015 Express10
For the most part, we are social creatures, wanting to be loved and wanting to give love. However, if you and your potential love are not in agreement as to certain boundaries and have a good understanding of each others wants and needs, as well as open communication, this could spell trouble ahead. Be sure to read about some important things to review prior to committing to a relationship so that you and your love have the best chance of having happiness together and standing the test of time.
A quick note: These things should not be discussed on the first several dates, nor should they be discussed rapid-fire interrogation style. They should be discussed over time and not be left to chance especially when you choose to put your financial, sexual, and/or emotional health in their hands via a monogamous commitment or otherwise.
Strange But (Partially) True Quote About Love
“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.”
― Robert Fulghum, True Love
Check Their Background
This includes everything from their family and upbringing to their medical, criminal and credit records. Don't be put off if you're asked to provide the same and if you are not asked, offer and ask for the same from them. Aside from these records and if the relationship is getting serious, you can see if you are compatible by talking to them about their family life, values, etc. and if possible, talk with their family as well and get to know them.
Begin having these potentially awkward or tough talk(s) with your partner, preferably before getting serious in your relationship so you won't be sorry or surprised later once you've invested much more in the relationship, including giving yourself to them physically. If they come up with excuses multiple times or stonewall, take that as a huge red warning flag to slow down or take it as a warning to not get further involved with them. A person's family and the way they were raised usually colors their habits, lives, and their outlook on life for the rest of their life.
While there are most certainly exceptions to this, a person's upbringing and family life does count to some degree as to their character, choices, individual growth, etc. Some or all of these things you may be happy with, but with others or even all of them, you may not. If you are a saver and you fall for a reckless spender, are you truly going to be okay with them putting you into debt, preventing you from saving for retirement or preventing you from getting a nice house or apartment, etc?
It is important for you to understand what is there and what isn't, add in what you have to offer them and think about whether this is a good match that you will be happy with and will make them happy in as well. It's best to find out sooner than later to be able to make a wise choice for yourself as to the level of seriousness in the relationship or whether to continue the relationship at all. Do not be afraid to check your potential mate's background!
Love Is In The Cards For You
Did You Check To See If Your Mate Has Planning And Goal Setting Skills?
Before getting serious with your potential mate, truly ask yourself if your potential mate values and utilizes planning skills and goal setting. Or, do they simply wish for various things and situations without planning, goal setting and actually taking action? For example, ask your potential mate what things are important to them and what they are doing to earn them. You may ask if they want to have certain things such as a specific level of success in their job or career or the resources and freedom to be more philanthropic for example.
Perhaps asking if they want to own a home or upgrade to a dream home, have a certain type of car, have a specific amount in the bank/investments/retirement/emergency funds, will help you gauge if they have similar goals but also whether or not they are actually planning and working towards them. In a relationship, planning and goal setting are important whether it's a short term or long term basis. If both partners have or utilize neither, that may not be a problem in the couple's opinion however, in relationships where only one partner does has/utilizes these traits, the consequences could be very negative for the relationship.
Ask what they are doing to reach these goals, if they cannot clearly state the steps they are taking or will need to take and there is no proof of the actions required being performed, this is a very important sign that they are a wisher who does not actually put forth the effort to create and reach goals. Other signs of a poor planner are constant excuses. You may notice that they have a lot of excuses or they may just rely on a few...repeatedly and that they don't do things they should be doing. This type of person will be constantly at odds with you if you are a person who plans, goal sets and takes action. Tread carefully and think about whether their lack of planning and goal setting will negatively affect you and your life if you are in a serious relationship, let alone married to them.
Cute Way To Say How Much You Care
Be Sure To Discuss Your Dealbreakers And Theirs As Well
Each person's dealbreakers are unique to them and their life experiences. Each person brings different perspectives and opinions to a relationship and you should be able to understand their perspective and keep their wishes and dealbreakers in mind to avoid unnecessary problems. If you don't understand the reason behind any dealbreaker of theirs, ask what experience led to it so that you will. If you don't agree with one or a combination of the dealbreakers, then it is very important to say so and why. Maybe a compromise can be made, maybe not. But having the discussion is what's most important so that both of you know where you stand and if you are truly compatible.
At some points of a person's life, they may find that they would tolerate some things and not others. Or, they may find that they have tolerated things that they never would tolerate again, this is precisely why dealbreakers/limits need to be thought about, discussed and clearly understood upfront. While some people's dealbreakers in their relationship may be similar or the exact same and both parties will be easy to please, this is not always the case. You will be doing yourself and your significant other a favor if these are discussed upfront and kept in mind. If you know with any certainty that you or your significant other will not be able to adhere to dealbreakers you have discussed, they need to be revisited or the seriousness of the relationship should be carefully reviewed.
At Last sung by Josh Krajcik
An interesting take on the cycle of love
Very Good Quotes About Love
- Quotes About Love (41734 quotes)
41734 quotes have been tagged as love: Marilyn Monroe: ‘I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times h...