Three Tips on How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

I am a firm believer that love is a choice; a conscious decision. It goes deep down the physical and sexual attraction, and definitely beyond the “slow motion” at first sight. Love is more of an action word like, giving without asking anything in return or understanding without questions.

A good relationship is composed of so many intangible things but love should be the foundation of it. It may sound like just a silly overrated notion but is it not self-love that brings out the best in a person? What more if it was shared to another person? It will make us do things we never imagined we are capable of doing. But most importantly, a good relationship is a collective action of two.

Romantic relationships differ in many ways, but what healthy relationships have in common is the presence of some elements that come along with love.

Be expressive with your partner. A communication in a healthy relationship is not sweet and romantic talks alone, it is more than just the compliments or planning where to eat next, it should be the good and the bad. Speak about your problems. Argue. And most importantly, BE. HONEST. Aside from the basic “do not keep secrets”, do not express yourself in a way that you think your partner will like. Say what you really want to say. It is okay to disagree. It will help both of you to identify your differences.

Communication is a two-way process. Listen. Acknowledge that the message was received. Give response. Do not let your partner feel like his/her opinion or feelings do not matter.

Do not accuse your partner of doing something. Do not assume. It hurts so much to be accused of doing something that doesn’t even crossed your mind, believe me. But, I also understand that sometimes, because we love a person so much and we are afraid to lose them, we tend to think of stupid things; we get paranoid about their whereabouts or misinterpret their message. We all have come to that point, but that is completely selfish. We have to give our partner time for himself/herself, especially when they asked for it. All we have to do is trust, and let our partner prove that we made the right decision and they are worth every ounce of trust.

We have to keep in mind that a relationship is composed of two different persons, and no matter how long you have been together, your partner will still have beliefs or principles in life that no amount of your influence will make it alter. It is okay to have contradicting point of views over some things. Leave it that way. A relationship is not a battle of who is right or wrong but an adventure of two people in finding what is right, and accepting what they discovered.

Sometimes, it is the smallest things that matter most, those that we often overlooked: the eye-to-eye, forehead kisses, remembering your favorite movie character he/she mentioned once, making a cup of coffee with the perfect amount of sweetness. Sometimes, these small gestures are the best way to communicate, to express trust and respect.

Not all relationships will work the way you want it. You will be with people who will hurt you like hell but they will prepare you to be the best version of yourself when you already found the right one.