- Gender and Relationships
Pure Heart Makes True Friendship
The Truest Relationship
Friends are the siblings God never gave us.— Mencius
Why and How Friends Matter
The word ‘friend’ is magical. Something special occurs to every human being when a friend is being talked about. Meeting each other and spending time together, talking over the telephone or chatting on the Internet is always special as the friends are in contact but discussing about a friend who is not present reflects joy in one’s voice. Attitude and approach become pleasant. It fills the world with sweetness and happiness. Friend is the first and foremost name of a relationship outside the boundary of a family and relatives which can be chosen, who teaches to love, care and share. Friends among themselves carry importance, truth and above all trust without saying. It happens to all of us, isn't it?
Only Heart Matters
Friendship is a precious gift which has to be handled with care. The best part is nobody gifts a friend to anybody rather a person himself gifts himself a friend. A person chooses a person to become a friend. Now, if the other one too chooses him to become a friend then the friendship develops. Here lie no legal formalities. No pen and paper work. Friendship is a matter of heart. It deals only with feeling but it will be wrong to say that there plays no authority, no expectation and no demand. They all prevail but with a difference.
No Limit in Friendship
Nothing gets fixed as on the basis of blood relation even neither in words nor in writing as it happens in business but the connection of heart fixes it all according to their preference. They decide the fate of the relationship at their own wish. As I said friendship is a matter of heart and there is no fixed guideline regarding this relationship. It is up to each and every individual and their friendship. There is no limit to liberty, interaction, space, caring or sharing joy and sorrow even one may reach out to offer any kind of help the other friend needs. It completely depends upon the friends to decide how much and to what extent they want to open up and spread their wings within friendship. One set of friendship may consider another set of friendship to be very free flowing or closed like a shell. No friendship is similar but it doesn't matter as long as it doesn't bother the friends concern. It directly flows from the heart of one friend and touches the heart of another friend.
Must Haves in Real Friendship
Everyone who believes in friendship knows that it is a connection of a heart with another heart. It is true that there is no limit in maintaining friendship but it must follow three unsaid conditions which are the foundation stones of any friendship. The three unsaid conditions get laid on the very beginning of the relationship by default. The three conditions are:
1. Friends should not be taken for granted (Importance)
2. Honesty between the friends
3. Trust among each other
A friendly relationship without the above written three conditions is merely an acquaintance and cannot be termed as true friendship. A friendship is bound to break if the three conditions mentioned above are not followed sincerely. There is nothing without honesty and trust but above all if a person is taken for granted the self respect of that person gets hurt which simply ruins the person as well as his/her relationship.
The word friendship sounds very sweet and its mere utterance spreads sweetness around but to maintain it forever the friends have to work hard. Having friendship is simple but to continuing with it proves to be complicated. Friendship expects very little but it should be genuinely from heart. If one can do so then the friendship the person achieves turns out to be the best ever gift to one’s own self.
Choose your friends with caution; plan your future with purpose, and frame your life with faith.— Thomas S. Monson
Friendship is above gender limit
Impact on Life
Life is usually monotonous without a proper friend. A friend gives an opportunity to unwind one’s self by sharing something meaningful or meaningless. It is simply being together and does what one loves to do with a friend without any premonition or inhibition. It cheers up the mood and life gears up for the next challenge in place of being dragged under the burden of responsibilities. For a healthy life a friend is a must but to have such a friend one should work on the relationship. In this process no one knows who will prove to be a good friend. It just happens without any type of fixed thought or bindings.
Shares Common Wavelength
A friend becomes friend when the wavelength matches and grows a fondness for one another. It is not bound to occur within some restrictions or a certain limit. Friendship prospers when it is free flowing. Sometimes an attachment occurs where it was not expected to happen but it’s the wish of the individual that matters. Individual’s interest arises due to common wavelength which brings them closer and make them friend. It may turn out to be the best friendship ever.
One common friendship is among the same gender group but there are friendships which are not of the same gender or are from different background still sets a praiseworthy example. Such friendships are:
1. An Opposite gender
2. Junior and senior
3. Different status, class and caste
Thanks to the co- education system where an opposite gender friendship got an air to breathe and develop as a beautiful relationship. The truest friendships are no less than the same gender friendships. Wavelength should match for a friendship then gradually following three conditions: importance, honesty and trust make the relationship stronger. Thus, gender is not a factor. The word 'friend' belongs to common gender and the opposite gender friendships have proved it right.
Elder and younger siblings, senior and junior colleagues even older or younger sibling of a friend becomes very good friends. Again, what makes a good friendship is the matching of wavelength. Age plays no constraint.
Difference in status, class and caste are again very trivial in connection to genuine friendship. Lots of examples are around of those who rose above these petty differences and gave importance to friendship due to their common wavelength.
Friendship has nothing to do with gender, age or position. Take for example the friendship between the Hindu God Shri Krishna and his childhood mate Sudama. True friends are the purest of all and friendship is the purest relationship made by the human beings themselves at all times. May God bless all to choose at least one true friend in one’s lifetime!
Love, love and Only love
Spending time together is not a sign of true friendship. It has to have love and genuine love for each other, no matter what ups and downs come in their way and must have the capacity to accept one another with their follies. A true friend will definitely try to mend another's mistakes but must not make it public and demean one in front of others. If so happens then such a friendship is tied within a limit but for real friendship the sphere is unlimited.
There is nothing more important than love in a genuine friendship. When a relationship enjoys selfless love that includes respect and trust for each other. Thus, love is a must. If one enjoys someone's company and considers the relationship as friendship then one has to remember that to make it a true friendship there should be selfless love among one another. We must have at least one friend of that stature because to enjoy true pleasure in our lives.