ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Time Runs Out Like Toilet Paper

Updated on December 1, 2009
Low Tide - Art by Sharrie69
Low Tide - Art by Sharrie69

It's been a while since I've written here. A long while.

Been busy, been distracted, didn't feel like writing.

Tired.

The usual excuses.

Excuses..we are good at that we humans.

Always a reason why...or more often why not.

Why we haven't written, why we haven't called, why we haven't visited.

After all we have ALL the time in the world. We have tomorrow, we have next week, we have next year.

The toilet paper roll never has an end.

Or so we think.

Time ran out for one of my friends this week and left me wishing we hadn't gotten to the end of the roll so fast.



Rick.

My Internet friend of the last 11 years.









http://www.angelfire.com/mi/psychoward/frames_index.html


Rick was a wonderful guy. Funny, smart, straightforward, loving, able to say what you needed to hear even when you didn't want to hear it, wise, forgiving, amazing, annoying at times, loyal. I met Rick online in a chat program called Pow Wow when I first got on the net. What first attracted me to him was his sense of humour. Very tongue in cheek, thumb your nose kind of humour. I read his web page and instantly liked the guy. When we started to chat I liked him even more. He remained my devoted friend for the next 11 years. Sometimes we'd have long email talks that went on for days, sometimes we'd not talk for weeks. We chatted on pow wow, ICQ, sent e-mail, I sent him snail mail and then most recently I goaded him into trying Facebook. Rick was always there for me. He always made time. Maybe because time stretched on endlessly for him some days. Rick had had an accident when he was 19 and was left a quadriplegic. He had limited use of his hand and would painstakingly type out every sentence. I know it must have taken a lot of effort on his part. But write he would. On the net he was 'normal'..he wasn't a guy in a chair to be pitied. He could be himself and many of his friends never knew the true story behind him or even saw what he looked like. I was one of the lucky few who got that privilege. Maybe because to me it didn't matter. I'd sass his ass anyway. I could give wheelchair jokes just like he could. Maybe it was because we genuinely cared about each other.

Rick was there for me through my divorce, the death of my dad (and his a short time after) and the tumultuous years that followed when I was trying to get back on my feet and figure out who I was and what I wanted in life. He was patient with me when I needed it...rude to me when I needed a kick in the butt and made me fall off my chair with laughter. Laughter is good for the soul. He was special. We never met face to face and my one regret is that I'll never get to give him a hug. Rick died last Thursday..three weeks after having a stroke. He was only 45. I found out on Monday night and I cried and cried and cried. I'm still crying and not wanting to believe I will never be the butt of one of his jokes again.

Now a lot of people might find it weird to be so upset over someone I had never 'met' in real life. But what really is real? To me Rick was. He was more of a friend to me than some of the people I see every day. He took the time to care, to love. Was it because he was stuck in a wheel chair and had nothing better to do?? If it is I wish we could all be like Rick. Take all the excuses away so that we could really care about the people in our lives. Take away the distractions and the chores and the lists. Slow down. Listen. Love. Go that extra mile. Be a friend. MAKE the time because it isn't going to last forever. One day you'll be scrambling to catch the end of that toilet paper roll before you're finished wiping. And you're left crying and can't even blow your nose.


I didn't get to tell Rick goodbye.

There were a couple times over the years he had scares and ended up in the hospital and we never knew if he'd make it back out. This time I didn't even know he had gone in.

I had gotten distracted. A couple weeks slipped through my fingers doing this, that and the other and when I finally came up for air Rick was gone.

Just like that.

Gone.

No do overs.

No second chances.

That's life.

One day we are just gone.

And tomorrow never comes.

And the things that were so important, that kept us so busy, don't seem quite so important anymore.

It's time to flush.

and we wish we could get it all back or have one more week, one more day..one more moment. One more chance to say I love you and I am glad you are a part of my life.

One more chance to say thank you.

So tonight I am saying thank you to Rick.

For all he was.

For all he did.

For all the ways he made my life better.

and I am promising too to slow down a bit. To really look at all the special people in my life and appreciate them more. And not be so stressed about the 'important' things.

A friend of mine once said "In a hundred years we'll all be dead and none of this will matter".

I'd like to add "except for the love we have left behind".

God speed Rick. You left lots of love behind.

Rick loved many people. He touched many hearts and healed many souls around the world.

And just in case you didn't know it...I loved you too my friend.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Hazelton 

      11 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Hold your memories close, as long as you have them he will always be with you. I am so sorry for your loss.

    • Astra Nomik profile image

      Cathy Nerujen 

      11 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

      I was very moved reading this. It's a nice tribute to a grand friendship. Best wishes to you, Sherri.

    • profile image

      nanspockets 

      11 years ago

      Oh nooooo. You talked about him so many times. So sorry to hear about this, honey.

    • profile image

      ralwus 

      11 years ago

      Sherri, it's so good to see you. So sorry for the circumstances. Rick was just as real as you are and my heart aches for you, for your loss. TOF is right, so right and so were you for loving him. You have been missed here too and I wondered if the Swine flu had not taken you. love as alway, CC

    • The Old Firm profile image

      The Old Firm 

      11 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

      Remember the things that you Did do that you could have not bothered about. They must far out-way the little omissions.

      Friends aren't for perfection, they're just friends, warts and all.

      I'm sad you've lost Rick, but glad you had all those years of being pals.

      Regards,

      Peter.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)