- Gender and Relationships
Tips For Using Tinder to Find Love
Let me just start off by saying...
If you are looking to just use Tinder to hook up, this is not the article for you. There are many other articles on the web for that.
But, if you are seeking love, I will try to give you a few tips that I've picked up thus far.
1. Don't seem too forward
When you've first been matched up with someone, don't instantly start prying into their life and playing 20 questions. This can come off as creepy. Just keep it simple. Start a chat about something you both have in common. If you have chemistry, you'll find it out soon enough this way.
2. If things are going well, don't be afraid to ask for their number
If you feel a real connection and the conversation is going really well, just ask them for their number. This will show them that you're interested and that you'd like to chat with them on a more regular basis. But, make sure you do this once you've talked for a good amount of time. Don't just rush out and ask for their number. That's creepy.
3. Don't start off with a date
When you two are first scheduling when to meet each other in person for the first time, don't make it a date. This has never gone well for me. Simple refer to it as "hanging out." Here's the secret. If it goes well and there's chemistry, both of you will see it as a date. But, if not, no harm done. By calling it a date, you create much more pressure for the both parties involved. In my experience, it ruins it.
4. Be realistic
You should know that the wonderful person you just met is probably talking to many other people. It is a competition. But, try not to think about it. Just try to think that if it's meant to happen, it will. And if it doesn't, just be cool about it.
5. Make an honest profile
If you truly want to find the right kind of people, then you need to be honest with yourself and make an honest profile. Don't fluff it up too much. Let your freak flag fly a little bit. Why waste your time catering to people you wouldn't be compatible with anyway?
6. Have an interesting picture in your profile
Have a picture of something that will be an instant conversation starter. For me, I have a picture of my spongebob tattoo. It immediately grabs their attention and starts a conversation. It also attracts people that share my sense of humor and are a little quirky. That's just an example of what I did, but just go with something interesting that says something about you.
7. Prepare for a lot of disappointment
Meeting someone on Tinder isn't the same as in person, naturally. You're on a different priority list. Just know that if you screw up, or creep them out, or give them any whiff of something they don't like, they will do a couple different things. For one, they will become distant. It's harder to schedule things. They won't text back as often. Thris is known as the "nice" method. They don't want to just come out and say it, but they aren't interested anymore.
Or, they will straight up block you. I've had this happen multiple times. No explanation, either. So look at Tinder as a vehicle for meeting someone easily, but also know that you will have to go through a lot of disappointment in order to find what you seek.
8. "I'm just not ready to date right now"
The dreaded phrase. You will see this a lot on Tinder. It's an app that is commonly installed after a breakup. As a sort of self-esteem boost, if you will.
If someone says this to you, it most likely means they're not interested in dating you. Multiple times, I've had women I've met on Tinder tell me that (after a couple dates) and a few weeks go by and they start dating someone else. Here's what they'll say: "He/she just changed my mind about not wanting to date." So, when someone says that, start looking at other people on Tinder. Don't waste your time.
9. There's always more fish in the sea
Here's the great thing about Tinder. If it doesn't go well with one of your matches, don't worry. There's always more to come. This is the one thing I've found that gives me hope. There are plenty of men/women out there that are interesting, funny, and worth your time. Not every one will be a winner. But, try and enjoy it. Get out there and meet all types of people! Who knows, you may just find new friends if the romantic part doesn't pan out.
Let me know in the comments what you think. Do you use Tinder? Have you found any success? And specifically, if you have any tips to share.