- Gender and Relationships
Tips on Helping Your Relationship
From young love, to serious
Some relationships start out as a quick fling then turn into years. How does this happen? We don't really know. But there are methods for helping the relationship last. These methods are quick and easy. All you have to do is remember to use them regularly and when is the best time for them.
A good example of these methods is my own relationship. What started out as a one night stand has turned into a year and two months and going. How this occured, I'm still unsure. How the relationship remains alive, I pay close attention to. Most relationships last six months or a year and a half. But how could you keep a relationship full and thriving with almost no fights? Pay close attention.
Pay attention to your partners pet peeves
What do they like? What are their pet peeves? What bothers them the most? Know what turns them off and really pushes their buttons. When around their pet peeves, learn how to make them calm. What relaxes them, soothes them? People like to remain level-headed through their life. Getting upset takes valuable energy and can cause issues then and later.
However another issue can arise if you attempt to keep them calm. They might focus more on themselves than your intent. They will ignore why you stepped into their life and focus on the fact you interfered. If this happens your partner is highly selfish. They won't see you, only the repercussions of what you do.
Clean up after yourself
One of the major turn offs in a relationship is leaving a mess. You don't want to deal with their mess, and they do not want to mess with yours. Not everyone has the time to clean up. People are in a rush, they have places to be. However you must make time to clean up your area and even clean up theirs. Making a mess only causes issues in a relationship.
For example, I have a horrible habit of not washing the dishing and leaving them in the sink. They sit there for days until I notice mold on them. Then I wash the mold off and continue to leave them there. Why? I never I have time or energy to do so. I'm rarely home, sometimes not even to sleep. Another issue, other than all the germs, consists of my boyfriend's pet peeve of a clean home. He loves everything nice and clean except maybe a layer of dust (which I'm allergic to). Needless to say we have a wide range of view points about the home. What do we do about them? Compromise.
What is the best thing two partners can do? Have a compromise. Shouldn't there be something more important in a relationship? Not really. Why? There are always fights in relationships and a compromise is the best way to solve it. Now what kind of compromise should take place?
As stated above, I have horrible kitchen cleaning skills. Yet since I never do any cooking it only seems logical for my boyfriend, David, to whipe the counter tops, clean the stove top, and wash the dishes. On the other hand, most women live in the bathroom, myself included. Thus we have a trade. I clean the bathroom and he cleans the kitchen. Compromise's are not only for cleaning and organization.
Another example of an agreement rests in money. It is said, money is the leading cause for divorce, so we must make an attempt to understand each other money-wise. I make half of what David does. So he pays for rent while I pay utilities. Each person pays for their own car and gas as it is their possession. However, since David eats the most, he pays for food. (I don't eat much and get free food from work during shifts.) It is a good method and has worked thus far.
Your partner should be more important than you in some respects. Why? Their happiness is your happiness. If one person in a relationship is depressed, the other will be as well. Why? Because these two people have decided to share their lives with each other and are reaping the seeds of their actions. However there are little ways to make someones day.
- If you see something on the ground, pick it up.
- Clean and organize areas that seem filthy.
- Do their chores or the laundry.
- Water their plants.
- Make their favorite food.
- Fill their tank with gas.
- Buy them something, even if it is clothes.