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Tips on becoming a good friend

Updated on June 6, 2011

Effective ways on how to be a good and trustworthy friend.

What is a good friend? Who is a true friend? What is a friend? Who is my friend? This is a common question asked by individuals of all age groups. Whether one is a toddler, a child, a teenager, a youth or an elderly, it is a fact that everyone needs a good and true friend. Meeting and making new friends is as easy as ABC but identifying and maintaining genuine friends is so hard and at times this process comes with a lot of pain and tears if not joys.

I would simply put it that a good friend is one who sticks by your side during the good times as well as the bad times. A good friend is always there to watch your back, motivate and encourage you as well as point out your mistakes and correct you. A good friend does not stab your back, does not talk ill of you, is not envious of your positive aspects and accomplishments and is never happy during your downfalls.

In the quest of identifying one’s true friends or when trying to become a true friend, one will be faced with questions such as: How can I become a good friend? How can I make friends? What are the ways in becoming an indispensable and true friend to someone? What does it take to be a friend? Who is my true friend? What are the qualities of a good friend? How can I maintain this friendship to become a special one?

In order to become a true and cherished friend, one has to be:

1. A listener. It is of more value to be a good listener rather than the talker. By listening more and talking less, one will portray oneself as someone who is interested in the one taking and it also shows a deep level of politeness and concern. By talking more, it depicts a picture that you are not really into the person, you do not want to know the person more and/or you do not care about the person and his life.

2. Be friendly. A friendly person is more likely to make friends and have good long lasting friendships. A hostile person will tend to lose out on the chance of making new friends.

3. Support and motivation. It is a friend’s responsibility to support and encourage his friend to undertake something positive and ensure that the friend maintains a high self esteem in different aspects in his life. E.g. an individual could encourage his friend to participate in tennis session since the friend has an interest in tennis.

4. Involvement. A wise person knows that it is very important to include his friend in some activities and/or decision making that involves or affects both of them. By this, there will be reduced instances of conflicts and indifferences between them.

5. Being true. Imagine having a friend who will tell you that your hair or outfits looks great whereas it is a lie. Flatterers never make good friends especially if one tends to lie to his friend just to please the friend. It is better when a friend comes and tells you that “these red shoes you are wearing are not blending well with those pants, the black shoes will do”, instead of lying to you on how hot and great you look.

6. Respect. It is very essential to respect and value the different opinions and preferences of your friends. This will lead you into a comfortable and great friendship life.

7. Space. Everyone including married people need to give each other space during their time together. By giving each other space, each party will get to appreciate and acknowledge the value of the other party in their lives.

8. Good times, bad times. A good friend will stick during the bad times and the good times. In bad times such as financial breakdown, death, divorces, pressure a good friend should always be there for his friend to give him hope, comfort him and encourage him. During the good times, a good friend should be there to share in the happiness.

9. Trust and confidence. Friends should always be trustworthy and this will ensure that confidential matters are shared between two good friends who trust each other, without the risk of exposing each other secrets.

10. Envy and jealousness. A genuine friend will ever be envious of his friend’s great achievements or other positive aspects; instead he should be happy for him at all times.

In conclusion, it is true to say that in order to be a good friend and maintain a happy and good friendship, it is wise that one should always cherish and treasure their friendship no matter what the circumstances.


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      bonnie 4 years ago

      Hm. I have a friend who hung out with me when all her other friends left her. But when they became friends again I felt like I wasn't wanted anymore.