ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

To Lose One's Own Virginity or Not: That Is The Question

Updated on May 9, 2012

It Has Been A While...

but I am back! Anyway, I was on my iPod Touch and I went to a website, which discusses celeb gossip, beauty and hair tips for people of color and advice on various matters. One young lady in particular wanted some advice from Terrance Dean, an outspoken, tell-it-like-it-is gay male about her situation, which you can read here.

The young lady and her boyfriend were together for nine months and throughout their relationship, he kept pressuring her to have sex. However, she wanted to keep her virginity because she believed in abstaining until marriage. After eight months, he ended the relationship due to his inability to wait. One day, he texted her and wanted to "talk things over". She then said she had to go to college the next day, but he insisted that they talk on his time. Worried, she came to his house, and he said that he wanted to just lay with her in the nude. She complied with him and one thing led to another. She thought that by losing her virginity to her boyfriend, he will see that she truly loved him and that he would change. A few weeks later, she found out that she was pregnant and everything was fine with the boyfriend. However, he grew more distant and arguing with her about petty things and she wants to know what to do. While Terrance Dean already gave her some advice in a way that is helpful and "telling it like it is" in a way that one would want to say, but it afraid to, I also have some insights on this letter as well as a message to my readers about when to lose one's virginity.

This Letter Has Some Loopholes...

Sometimes I wonder if people read what they typed in before asking for advice, because sometimes, the answer is right in front of you. So let me get this straight: this young lady is in a relationship with a man that pressured her to have sex and then assumed that when he started taking off her clothes that he just wanted to "lay with you naked" and thought, "at least he didn't want to screw me"? This young man is not only immature, but he manipulated her emotionally, physically and spiritually. He knew when she got to his house that she was vulnerable and would do just about anything to have him in her life. Guys can sense it and they know the type of woman to play that game with. And the young lady fell for that trap easily because that was exactly what was on her mind: she wanted to have sex with him so he could still be in her life and to show "her love for him". It wasn't successful on her part because she is pregnant and he has no interest in her and their unborn child.

The Point Is, Virginity is...

Something that no one should take for granted. A person should not give their virginity away to someone else out of pressure from either your mate, friends or the media. It is your body, your decision. If a person wants to maintain their decision to stay a virgin until they are married or in a serious relationship, they should not let anyone dictate their decision. If the person truly loves you, he or she will wait for you. And do you know why they would wait? Because they know in their heart that you are worth waiting for. If a mate is pressuring you to have sex, guess what? He or she is NOT THE ONE FOR YOU. The young lady has felt the pressure to lose her virginity from her so-called boyfriend and not once she has thought about what was his intentions nor the consequences.

Before You Choose To Lose Your Virginity...

  • Know your partner's intentions. Does he or she see the relationship far into the future (i.e marriage) or a temporary fling and is he or she genuine? Always listen to your gut as well as your head.
  • Please get educated on your sex facts. Know about all the STDs and the risk of pregnancy. If you want to be 100% sure, get your partner tested. And always use protection at all times.
  • And speaking of pregnancy, if you choose to have sex, make sure you see yourself with the person for the rest of your life in case either you end up pregnant or you get someone pregnant.
  • Weight out the consequences and distinguish the difference between true love and the feeling of being in love. True love is a spiritual, emotional, physical and mental bond between two people as opposed to the feeling of being in love. Feeling of being in love is just a feeling of euphoria. It does not necessary mean that the person also loves you back.
  • Also, weigh in on the emotional consequences if for example, you and this person breaks up. Are you mature enough to handle it?

All those components will have to be considered before making that decision. Because like they say, once it is gone, you will never get back. Remember, having and maintaining your virginity is a great thing to have. Don't ever take that for granted.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • shaynadc89 profile imageAUTHOR

      Shayna Cacho 

      8 years ago from Brooklyn, NY, Living in Delaware

      @andrekennedyjr Thanks and I really appreciate your feedback and I definitely liked your post about black women! And I am following you as we speak :)

    • andrekennedyjr profile image


      8 years ago from Washington D.C.

      This is a good post.You are a very talented writer and I will be following you. Please do me the same way.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)