Top 5: Are You the Type of Man that Women Desire?

I know, I know. We women are confusing. We stall, we think too much, we're 100% emotion. Forgive us, we don't really mean to be that way with our sexual counterparts. It's not (completely) our fault.

If it's come to this, blogging for relationship advice, look no further. As one woman to the many men in the world, please listen up! We are so tired of hearing "What Men Want in their Women":

• large breasts
• long, flowing, silky hair
• clear, glowing skin
• huge breasts
• thighs that don't touch
• a smile that creates a glare
• even bigger breasts
• and a myriad of other superificial wants from Adam Sandler movies that will not make a relationship work

But have you ever stopped to think about what we want to see in you? And, again, not just the superficial stuff. What traits do we really want you to have? What will make it last, what will force me to give you looks that send chills down your spine? What will take you out of the dreaded friend zone.

SO GLAD YOU ASKED!

Below is a Top 5 list of the traits that women wish to see in a man they're dating. Hope this clears things up for you guys:

I realize that this is asking a lot, of any human being. But a man that is sure of his actions is sure to keep a woman around! Stay grounded: if you say that you are going to do something, do it and keep doing it!

For instance, men, let's say that you show interest in a young lady. You've already given her the top 3 compliments: she's attractive, she's smart and she's funny. Awesome. Now that you have her head filled with fantastical whims of a 3 bedroom 2 bath cottage, do not, I repeat, do not then fall off the face of the earth.

What is UP with that?

I mean SERIOUSLY. It's not okay to never call again. To stop showing up in the same places, to stop being amazing. No one told you to do that--so cut it out!

In all seriousness, gentleman, bitterness aside, a woman will respect you so much more if you just remain consistent. These days, the only thing consistent about the majority of men out there is their inconsistency.

I'm a stickler for a little tradition. Text messages are convenient, admittedly so. A little unsafe when you get behind the wheel and try it, but convenient nonetheless. But why not pick up the phone and dial 10 numbers instead?

If I'm on your mind, you can easily solicit a smile from me when I see your name on the caller ID (do we even call it that anymore?). A conversation using real words and hearing real expressions and your laugh is much more intimate than any text message could ever be. That goes for BBMs, tweets and What'sApps too.

Listen, when it comes right down to it, a message sent at the point where a woman is interested is only opening a can of worms for her anxiety and illustrative imagination. Don't ask me to explain why, just accept it as truth!

Trust me, even the words 'What's up lady?' can trigger 10 phone calls to her close friends and her mother so that they all can attempt to interpret 12 characters. So, cut out the middle men and just call.

Sorry, that may have been a little vulgar. But incredibily necessary. Fellas, we know that your mother is the light of your life. And she is the ultimate reflection of you what want in a wife and the mother of your children.

However. You're an adult, not a baby. You do not need to rest on her every whim and it is unnecessary to run at top speed when she calls for you. Above all else, if there is a young woman in your life who is special to you, and your mother spends every free moment putting her down, it is your right, nay, your duty to defend your significant other at all costs.

Okay, your mother and your family comes first. Let's just admit it--some mothers are particularly selfish and will never think anyone is good enough for you. You should remind her that she is your parent, not your eternal body guard and defender from all the evils of the world. Have your testes not fallen yet? Has your voice not changed? Do you have a degree and years of work experience? If the answer is yes to most of these questions, let mommy dearest find a hobby in her life and stop leading yours.

I believe sometimes that this idea avoids being captured by men. It's not some archaic term, it hasn't disappeared. Furthermore, its such a refreshing thing to see. What is a gentleman, you ask?

The Story of a Gentleman (from a lady's point of view):

1. When you see an attractive woman, your eyes remained solidly in your head and no grunts, moans or dirty words escape from your lips
2. If you're interested in said woman, you respectfully approach her without a hidden agenda, only with the desire to know her better
3. When it's time to take her out, you come to pick her up, open the door, take her coat, stand when she leaves, stand when she returns
4. On this date, you ask her questions about herself, her background, her family, her ideas, her thoughts
5. You are not easily distracted by other women during this date, you don't text during the date, you don't interrupt her, you leave the talking until after you've finished chewing
6. When the date has concluded, you return her to her domicile, you ask to see her again
7. Then you leave. Look back once, then keep walking. That's so sexy.

These things cannot possibly be that difficult, right? A gentleman may seem like an elusive fairy tale, but I assure you, the women of the world have not forgotten about him.

For all the men that have turned away after reading this subtitle, come back!

Guys, commitment does not equal castration. I swear! So don't be scared to make the woman you care for the only woman in your life. She'll really appreciate it. Monogamy does not equate to the following things:

• You won't see your friends ever again
• You'll never enjoy life again
• You're marching to the altar tomorrow
• You'll start holding her purse in the department stores
• You'll need to take stock in Kleenex for all of the emotional turmoil you are soon to endure

Not true. Once you arrive at a certain maturity (notice that I did not say age), it will in fact seem natural to you to pick one woman and settle in. The one superior to the rest, the one your mother likes, hell--the one.

So stop fighting it already. She's a good catch. And what you won't do, be sure that another man will!