Top 10 Reasons Why Long Distance Relationships Don't Last and How to Avoid Them
Many believe that love can conquer all. But is this famous idea still applicable if we are talking about thousands of miles and years of being apart? I have been a fan of love since mine beat to a special woman for the first time. After reading a lot of books, seeing movies, and experiencing it first hand, I can confidently say that long distance relationships seldom last. Although I know a few couples who survived after keeping such kind of setup for a few years and are now happily living together, I can’t imagine how much effort and patience they invested to pull it through.
Since you guys are dear to me, I suggest you think more than twice before you decide to engage in this kind of relationship. Don’t give me that smile. I’m serious about this and I really don’t want you to suffer from permanent love scars later on. To convince you even more, check out this list of the Top 10 Reasons Why Long Distance Relationships Don’t Last.
Loving Alcohol More Than Your Partner
To the surprise of many, Alcohol has its fair share of benefits. It can lower heart disease risks, help fight diabetes, and even lower insulin levels! But then again, there’s a huge catch; you need to consume it in moderation. While these benefits presented by various researches are still debatable, the fact that too much alcohol consumption will lead to no good is not. Drinking too much can also ruin a long distance relationship as it can bring you to situations which will only bring upon regrets later on. You’ll fail to communicate with your partner and might even cheat because of excessive alcohol consumption.
To avoid your long-distance relationship from struggling due to alcohol, learn to control yourself. And don't forget to tell your partner whenever you go out and drink with friends so he/she can have peace of mind.
Best-selling Book to Completely Change Your Relationship with Alcohol
Temptations at Work
It was a long day and a co-worker invited you to a house party. You planned to meet up with your distant girlfriend via Skype later that evening but your friend insisted that the event will end early so you were convinced. It was a common party and you were about to leave when a gorgeous woman accidentally poured her drink on you. The awkward situation was the start of hours of fun-filled and exciting conversation. You even forgot about the daily communication rule you promised to your far-away partner. You guys might think that these kinds of events are only present in the movies but I am a living proof that it does happen in real life. Just use your imagination as to what comes next. We may have different endings but one this is for sure, a lie or a fight with your girlfriend is inevitable in this situation.
To save your relationship from temptations at work, simply be loyal. Avoid going out with your workmates too much and put more attention on communicating with your long-distance partner.
A Shoulder to Cry On
So you just had a fight with your distant man and decided to walk around the neighborhood to enjoy some fresh air. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an attractive man approached you and offered company. Saying no is the best option but it won’t be that easy if he’s as charming as Robert Downey Jr. The both of you visited a nearby park and he walked you home leaving a card with his contact info. A gentleman who can make you smile, knows your needs, and has all the time in the world to offer is probably the highest form of temptation for a committed woman. Of course you can always say no and be faithful to your current partner but it’s easier said than done.
If you want to cry, do it on your female friend's shoulder. Don't let a man, no matter how kind or good-looking he might be, do what your boyfriend is suppose to. It's all about acceptance and respect. Accept the fact that your long-distance boyfriend can't be there personally for you and respect him by being loyal.
You can do a lot of great things when bored. In fact, some of mankind’s greatest inventions are products of a brilliant mind’s boring moments. Yet, boredom is considered a major culprit why long distance relationships fail. It’s when you do nothing or tired of doing the same thing over and over again that you start to explore. The alarming part is that leaving a distant partner behind the new routine you plan to start won’t involve too much guilt and is very easy. Simply cut off your communications and you’re done.
A couple that truly loves each other will only agree to be apart for a very big reason. Majority do it because of financial issues, which is why it is expected for the other half to have a busy schedule afterwards. This is where problems will start to crawl in. With a busy schedule the couple will be left with less time to communicate and enjoy each other’s company while leaving more room to explore new options and find someone who can make them happy without the distance.
You really need to invest time for a relationship to work. This goes true both for long-distance and usual relationships. No matter how busy your schedule might be, communicate with your long-distance partner. You can also do other activities online like playing a game or reading novels together.
The internet and your mobile phone are your greatest weapons against loneliness in a long distance relationship. Nevertheless, there are a few cases where these technologies won’t be of any help. What if you are sent to a place where electricity is scarce or not available? Though rare in well-developed countries, such places are very common if we think of the situation on a worldwide basis. Sending letters is your only option but given you are in a remote place don’t be surprised if your partner’s reply arrives several months later.
With almost every part of the world having access to the internet, this problem is not that common nowadays. As long as you put effort into it, you can communicate with your partner via Facebook Messenger, e-mail, or any other online messaging platforms.
Unsupportive Family and Friends
Your family and friends are great sources of inspiration particularly if some of them have experience or are currently in a long distance relationship. You can also turn to them if you need advice or tips to keep the fire burning despite how challenging your situation is. However, this is only true if they support your relationship. If not, their words and actions can slowly degrade the relationship you have been cherishing for many years. Your friends might introduce you to temptations while your family will most likely encourage you to find another partner and settle with one who can be with you physically. You may not feel the impact of their efforts early on but their words will gradually sink into you at times when you feel alone or when you end up having a serious fight with your distant partner.
There's no shortcut to this problem but to win your partner's family's heart. It won't be easy but keep in mind that your relationship to them can either break or make your relationship. At times when your relationship seems rough, they can be a good source of advice and support.
Lack of Effort
Effort is important in a relationship regardless if a couple is living together or apart. And it should be on both sides. We should be reminded that love is like dancing with a partner. You simply can’t make any step if one will just stand still. The importance of effort in a long distance relationship is doubled compared to the usual setup where you can meet up any time you want. Although finding ways to communicate often won’t be a huge problem, reorganizing your schedule and exerting enough effort to make it happen as often as possible can be very tiring in the long run.
Trust once broken can be mended but will never be just like it was before. Many long distance relationships didn’t work out because either one or both of the parties involved failed to value the gift of trust. But then again, we can’t judge them due to such kind of failure since it’s almost impossible to fight temptation especially if you are lonely and vulnerable. The saddest part is that one wrong move can entirely ruin even a relationship built with years of love and honesty. Keep in mind that truly trusting someone is easy but doing so for the second time around is a very different story.
Best-selling Book on Building Trust and Avoiding Betrayal
I agree that true love is eternal. It is one of the most beautiful experiences this world has to offer. Only a few are lucky enough to find true love in their lifetime so if you are one of them hold on to your partner and treat him or her like a winning grand prize lottery ticket. However, even the most beautiful and honest love can fade. Any relationship, if not pampered enough, is doomed to fail in time. It’s like planting a seed. Aside from planting it on a healthy soil, you need to water it daily and protect it from all sorts of dangers in order to enjoy its fruits later on. So if you are really eager to start a long distance relationship, make sure you are strong enough to survive every challenge and that your partner is as dedicated as you to remain committed regardless of what may happen.
A song about a love separated by distance
Is a long distance relationship worth fighting for?
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