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Top 10 Reasons Why Long Distance Relationships Don't Last

Updated on May 27, 2014

Many believe that love can conquer all. But is this famous idea still applicable if we are talking about thousands of miles and years of being apart? I have been a fan of love since mine beat to a special woman for the first time. After reading a lot of books, seeing movies, and experiencing it first hand, I can confidently say that long distance relationships seldom last. Although I know a few couples who survived after keeping such kind of setup for a few years and are now happily living together, I can’t imagine how much effort and patience they invested to pull it through.

Since you guys are dear to me, I suggest you think more than twice before you decide to engage in this kind of relationship. Don’t give me that smile. I’m serious about this and I really don’t want you to suffer from permanent love scars later on. To convince you even more, check out this list of the Top 10 Reasons Why Long Distance Relationships Don’t Last.

Regrets always come after a night of hard drinking.
Regrets always come after a night of hard drinking.

To the surprise of many, Alcohol has its fair share of benefits. It can lower heart disease risks, help fight diabetes, and even lower insulin levels! But then again, there’s a huge catch; you need to consume it in moderation. While these benefits presented by various researches are still debatable, the fact that too much alcohol consumption will lead to no good is not. Drinking too much can also ruin a long distance relationship as it can bring you to situations which will only bring upon regrets later on. You’ll fail to communicate with your partner and might even cheat because of excessive alcohol consumption.

Tempting right?
Tempting right?

It was a long day and a co-worker invited you to a house party. You planned to meet up with your distant girlfriend via Skype later that evening but your friend insisted that the event will end early so you were convinced. It was a common party and you were about to leave when a gorgeous woman accidentally poured her drink on you. The awkward situation was the start of hours of fun-filled and exciting conversation. You even forgot about the daily communication rule you promised to your far-away partner. You guys might think that these kinds of events are only present in the movies but I am a living proof that it does happen in real life. Just use your imagination as to what comes next. We may have different endings but one this is for sure, a lie or a fight with your girlfriend is inevitable in this situation.

And he's also IronMan. That's overkill!
And he's also IronMan. That's overkill!

So you just had a fight with your distant man and decided to walk around the neighborhood to enjoy some fresh air. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an attractive man approached you and offered company. Saying no is the best option but it won’t be that easy if he’s as charming as Robert Downey Jr. The both of you visited a nearby park and he walked you home leaving a card with his contact info. A gentleman who can make you smile, knows your needs, and has all the time in the world to offer is probably the highest form of temptation for a committed woman. Of course you can always say no and be faithful to your current partner but it’s easier said than done.

Boredom can lead to sadness.
Boredom can lead to sadness.

You can do a lot of great things when bored. In fact, some of mankind’s greatest inventions are products of a brilliant mind’s boring moments. Yet, boredom is considered a major culprit why long distance relationships fail. It’s when you do nothing or tired of doing the same thing over and over again that you start to explore. The alarming part is that leaving a distant partner behind the new routine you plan to start won’t involve too much guilt and is very easy. Simply cut off your communications and you’re done.

A busy schedule can ruin a relationship in more ways than one.
A busy schedule can ruin a relationship in more ways than one.

A couple that truly loves each other will only agree to be apart for a very big reason. Majority do it because of financial issues, which is why it is expected for the other half to have a busy schedule afterwards. This is where problems will start to crawl in. With a busy schedule the couple will be left with less time to communicate and enjoy each other’s company while leaving more room to explore new options and find someone who can make them happy without the distance.

Worst day ever!
Worst day ever!

The internet and your mobile phone are your greatest weapons against loneliness in a long distance relationship. Nevertheless, there are a few cases where these technologies won’t be of any help. What if you are sent to a place where electricity is scarce or not available? Though rare in well-developed countries, such places are very common if we think of the situation on a worldwide basis. Sending letters is your only option but given you are in a remote place don’t be surprised if your partner’s reply arrives several months later.

Grumpy family strikes again!
Grumpy family strikes again!

Your family and friends are great sources of inspiration particularly if some of them have experience or are currently in a long distance relationship. You can also turn to them if you need advice or tips to keep the fire burning despite how challenging your situation is. However, this is only true if they support your relationship. If not, their words and actions can slowly degrade the relationship you have been cherishing for many years. Your friends might introduce you to temptations while your family will most likely encourage you to find another partner and settle with one who can be with you physically. You may not feel the impact of their efforts early on but their words will gradually sink into you at times when you feel alone or when you end up having a serious fight with your distant partner.

Laziness at its finest.
Laziness at its finest.

Effort is important in a relationship regardless if a couple is living together or apart. And it should be on both sides. We should be reminded that love is like dancing with a partner. You simply can’t make any step if one will just stand still. The importance of effort in a long distance relationship is doubled compared to the usual setup where you can meet up any time you want. Although finding ways to communicate often won’t be a huge problem, reorganizing your schedule and exerting enough effort to make it happen as often as possible can be very tiring in the long run.

What if he is not an engineer?
What if he is not an engineer?

Trust once broken can be mended but will never be just like it was before. Many long distance relationships didn’t work out because either one or both of the parties involved failed to value the gift of trust. But then again, we can’t judge them due to such kind of failure since it’s almost impossible to fight temptation especially if you are lonely and vulnerable. The saddest part is that one wrong move can entirely ruin even a relationship built with years of love and honesty. Keep in mind that truly trusting someone is easy but doing so for the second time around is a very different story.

Love is like a pair of shoes.
Love is like a pair of shoes.

I agree that true love is eternal. It is one of the most beautiful experiences this world has to offer. Only a few are lucky enough to find true love in their lifetime so if you are one of them hold on to your partner and treat him or her like a winning grand prize lottery ticket. However, even the most beautiful and honest love can fade. Any relationship, if not pampered enough, is doomed to fail in time. It’s like planting a seed. Aside from planting it on a healthy soil, you need to water it daily and protect it from all sorts of dangers in order to enjoy its fruits later on. So if you are really eager to start a long distance relationship, make sure you are strong enough to survive every challenge and that your partner is as dedicated as you to remain committed regardless of what may happen.

A song about a love separated by distance

Is a long distance relationship worth fighting for?

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© 2014 dailytop10

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    • Kaili Bisson profile image

      Kaili Bisson 3 years ago from Canada

      Some good points here...well done article.

    • dailytop10 profile image
      Author

      dailytop10 3 years ago from Davao City

      That's a really inspiring story. Please extend my regards to them and congratulate them for having enough strength and patience to survive a long-distance relationship. Have a great day1

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I know a few couples that it worked for. My favorite couple is ... my daughter and now son-in-law were long distance for 4 years during college...they are now happily married for 3 years.

    • dailytop10 profile image
      Author

      dailytop10 3 years ago from Davao City

      You are among the luck ones. Congrats!

    • Hezekiah profile image

      Hezekiah 3 years ago from Japan

      A lot of true points there. But it works for me while I was at University. A Japanese student left and went back to Japan while I stayed in the UK for 1.5 yrs. No problems, I then went to join her in Japan.

    • ria-majumdar profile image

      ria-majumdar 3 years ago from Manipal

      I have a friend who has been in a long distance relationship for the last 5 years. That's a pretty amazing achievement, but I figure the only reason why it has lasted so long (and will continue to do so) is because the two of them started off the relationship 7 years back, which gave them 2 years of close contact to know each other and fall madly in love.

      I guess most long distances don't work because the couples either start it off over internet or they do not have a sufficient close contact time before the long distance commences.

      Thanks for sharing your views on this topic. The points are all right-on. :)

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 3 years ago from Hawaii

      Indeed that there are many challenges that come with long distance relationships. Thank you for sharing and elaborating them.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Nicely-presented. In-depth and you covered all of the bases. Voted up and away. Great work. You are a talented writer. Very colorful and imaginative.

      How did you make those dark boxes with text in this hub?

      I cordially-invite you to check a couple of my hubs and then become one of my followers.

      I would love that.

      Kenneth Avery/ from northwest Alabama

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      These are all valid reasons for why long distance relationships do not last. However I'd also add one more; "No light at the end of the tunnel"

      Long distance relationships were meant to be temporary. The goal is to be with the person you love!

      Oftentimes they start by "accident". Someone is visiting/on vacation from out of town and meets a local who they hit it off with. Once they're about to head home they decide to try to "make it work". Two people initially meet online and start off as friends until they become emotionally invested. Another common one is high school lovers go away to separate colleges and unrealistically believe they will maintain their relationship for the next 4-6 years while pursuing their degrees. At some point they're going to befriend other students, socialize, participate in on campus activities leading to dating.

      The vast majority of couples in long distance relationships have no timeline or plan for when they will be together permanently. When there is no "count down" towards the day when one person moves it's likely one of you will eventually want to throw in the towel.

      At some point someone has to make a move. A long distance relationship without “a light at the end of the tunnel” is likely to fail. It’s the counting down the months, weeks, and days until you are finally done with the inconvenience of being in a long distance relationship that keeps it strong.

      If you’re just passing the time with someone you might as well do that locally.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Interesting about such kind of relationships. All mentioned here is so true and well thought of. Many of these issues can get in the way. Thank you for following me.