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Top 10 Tips for Your First Online Date

Updated on February 6, 2014

Have you met someone online? Are you ready to meet them in person? Online dating gives you the opportunity to get to know that special someone via the Internet in the comfort of your own home. It is so popular today that after the turn of the century, there were almost 900 dating sites available for single adults.

Since there is a good chance that this is your method of dating today, you should know how to handle your first date with the person you meet online. Many people who no longer wish to go to parties, bars, or night clubs are finding this way of meeting to be very effective. If you are dating online, consider these tips in order to have a successful first online date.

Bryan and Michele - Met over a year ago and still in love!
Bryan and Michele - Met over a year ago and still in love! | Source

1. Put safety first always when meeting someone from the Internet.

Always agree to meet in your own car in a public place where many people will be. Drive there in your own car; do not allow them to pick you up at your home or at another location. If you do not drive a vehicle, have someone drop you off at a public place.

Ensure there will be plenty of people around. Make sure there is a public phone nearby or that your cellular phone is fully charged. Know who to call in case of an emergency. Do not agree to go anywhere private with them during the date.

When you leave the date, make sure you leave alone in your own car or have someone you trust pick you up. Also, make sure your date is not following you to your home after the date. You may feel you know this person well, but murders and/or rapists are often clever. It is better to be safe, and stay alive.

Call a trusted friend or family member prior to the date to tell them the details of the date: the name of the individual you will be meeting, the individual’s contact information, your cellular phone number, the place you will be meeting this person and where it is, the time you will be going on the date, and the time you plan to be home.

Have an "in case of emergency" note ready for your roommate or friend.
Have an "in case of emergency" note ready for your roommate or friend. | Source

Explain to this friend or family member that you will be calling them as soon as you are home safe and sound. This means having your door safely locked with you tucked inside! Ensure you choose a trustworthy person who will hunt you down or call the police if you do not call them at the appropriate time. This should let them know that something is wrong and to be alarmed.

While these measures may seem old school with today’s online dating world, they can save your life. Predators now use the fact that daters are more relaxed with these rules in order to attack innocent victims. Take safety precautions seriously, because you never know who someone really is on a first date.

Is he a HUGE Cowboys fan (like my man)? Learn about your date before going on the date.
Is he a HUGE Cowboys fan (like my man)? Learn about your date before going on the date. | Source

2. Get to know them before meeting in person.

There’s nothing worse than going on a date that is torture. Make sure you want to be friends with this person before agreeing to meet with them. It is better to trust someone a little and see a picture of them than to be in a hurry and be shocked by your date.

Also, wouldn’t you rather someone know you for who you are in the inside rather than their initial attraction to your body? How many people get attracted to someone based on their appearance rather than on who they are? Make sure there is enough mutual attraction of course, but at the same time, you need to make sure the other person isn’t just interested in you for your looks.

Learn about their background, their childhood, their education, their job, their hopes, and what they plan to do with the rest of their life. Know in advance what you are looking for and what you want in a person. Then, ask the right questions before you bother meeting the person.

Think about a city girl who loves rock and roll, shopping at the mall, bowling with her friends, and watching reality television shows. She gets hit on by a cute guy who says all the right things, but she doesn’t get to KNOW him. They date a long time. She finds out that he enjoys outdoor things like hunting and fishing, he only listens to country music, and he is a mama’s boy. They break up, because they have so many differences. If only she had taken the time initially, before the first date, to get to know him and asked the right questions, she could have saved herself heart-break, time, energy, and so much more.

It is well worth it to take the extra time to ask a few simple questions to get to know if you will be compatible with someone or not. Follow this simple guide to finding out if someone is right for you. It is by far not a comprehensive approach, but you don’t have much to lose by giving it a try.

Find the Right Person For You

 
 
Step One
Who are you? (See my example of the city girl)
Step Two
Write up a list of qualities you want in a mate.
Step Three
Ask questions to find out if a person meets those qualities.
Step Four
If they seem compatible, they may be worth a lunch date!
Don't wear bum clothes until he is in love with who you are on the inside.
Don't wear bum clothes until he is in love with who you are on the inside. | Source

3. Look your best.

Always check a person’s photos before meeting them in person. There must be some attraction. The same holds true for them though. Most people put their best foot forward when they post their photos online. More often than not, people do not look as good in person as they did in their online photos.

Since most online daters know this, they will probably expect your photographs to be your best. Be sure to post accurate photos of yourself. Don’t post your glamour shots that you took ten years ago. Be realistic. You don’t want them avoiding eye contact all throughout your date because they do not find you attractive.

All of that being said, you want to make a good first impression. Don’t dress sloppy, smell bad, or show that you don’t care about how you look. Be yourself, but remember that you want to be stunning too! Someday, six months down the line, you might sit around watching him play video games with no make up on, your hair in a bun, and sweats and his oversized tee-shirt. However, until that day comes, knock his socks off. He is going to do his best to look good for you, so you should do the same. Be beautiful!

4. Have several conversation topics in mind ahead of time.

We covered the fact that you should get to know the person before the date. Maybe you spent days getting to know him or maybe you spent a year getting to know him. Maybe you know everything you think you can about him.

However, you don’t want to stare at your paper placemat while you eat your chips and salsa since you have nothing to talk about. Have at least five good conversation topics in mind. Make them topics that you can talk about for a long period of time.

Here are a couple of great, quality articles that will give you some insight on what you could talk about on a first date.

Have an emergency plan in place on first dates (just in case).
Have an emergency plan in place on first dates (just in case). | Source

5. Have an escape plan in mind in case the date goes wrong.

If you have followed the steps above and gotten to know the person well, you have a small chance that the date will be a horror show. However, there is a chance. Have a friend or family member call you in the middle of the date with an emergency. If the date is going well, just let them know you are fine with some “signal” phrase or react like a well-trained actress to the emergency, and get out of there!

Be polite and apologize to your date. Don’t be rude. If he does something illegal, inappropriate, or outrageous, you can leave without an explanation. However, if you just don’t feel the attraction and don’t want to waste an evening, be polite about the emergency, call or email them later to explain you are okay, and slowly and gently let them down. The reason for this is so that they do not suspect that you saw them and were repulsed – even if you were.

6. Be confident.

Try not to shake or act nervous. If you know this person as mentioned that you should, you should feel comfortable. Having conversation topics in mind before the date should make you feel confident that you know what you will say. Listen and ask questions, and you won’t feel like you are put on the spot.

7. Smile and keep good eye contact.

This illustrates confidence. Show you are having a good time. By showing solid eye contact you illustrate that you are honest. By smiling, you show your best side. You look your prettiest when you smile, and it makes the other person feel like you like them. By easing your confidence, you ease their confidence. This in turn makes the cycle go around and around. With both of you at ease, the date will go much easier.

Have you ever had an online date?

See results

8. Be polite and positive.

Don’t talk about negative topics. Don’t talk about the news unless you know of something in the news that is positive. Even if something is interesting that you know about, don’t bring it up if it is negative. Be upbeat and funny! Have fun. It’s a once in a lifetime experience with that person.

Be polite to your date. If you are eating at a restaurant, be polite to the staff. Mind your manners. Men watch for those things. Women who are stuck up and rude don’t make good impressions.

9. Ask questions and be approachable.

If you are on a date with someone who really does not talk much or someone who is shy, asking questions is the key. Even this can be a challenge.


If you ask someone questions on a date and they just give you short, one-word answers, it can make for a difficult date. However, asking questions gives you room to answer them as well, keeping the conversation going.


Keep your body language open. Keeping your arms uncrossed, your hands open, and your legs politely crossed all signal that you ready and willing to talk and have an open conversation.


Avoid subjects like weddings or politics.
Avoid subjects like weddings or politics. | Source

10. Don’t talk about inappropriate topics.

Avoid getting the subject on to sensitive subjects like politics, marriage, children, divorce, abortion, mental illness, health, sex, sexually transmitted diseases, and bad family histories.

A few of the most popular websites used today for online dating are www.match.com, www.plentyoffish.com, www.eharmony.com, and www.okcupid.com. Eharmony and Match do have a fee, but the other two dating websites are free of charge for basic membership.

Following these steps on your first online date will put you on the way to finding the person you are most compatible with and stop wasting your time and energy with those you are not compatible with. You may carve out a simple system that will help you eliminate the losers and find the winners. I wish you the best of luck on the dating scene! It can be difficult, but you can also succeed! Just have faith and educate yourself on the do’s and don’ts of online dating.

Disclosure

Pictures: The images in this website were provided by Michele Jones.

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Comments

Submit a Comment

  • misslong123 profile imageAUTHOR

    Michele Kelsey 

    11 months ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

    Malik,

    I still have not found any fan mail. You might check the learning center to ensure you are doing it right.

    Best wishes

    Michele

  • misslong123 profile imageAUTHOR

    Michele Kelsey 

    11 months ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

    For me as well. :)

    However, I spent a long time checking the Ms. column, so I really want to help anyone I can out. I understand how lonely the single life can be for some people. I love helping others, and even if just one tip helps one person, I will view this article as a success!

    Larry, I appreciate you stopping by and giving me a gracious comment! Congratulations on such a long and (I imagine) happy marriage! That's often a rarity these days! :)

  • Larry Fish profile image

    Larry W Fish 

    11 months ago from Raleigh

    A lot of good tips there, Michele. I hope a lot of people read this and go by what you say. It doesn't apply to me, I have been married 46 years so my dating days are over.

  • humzayunas profile image

    Malik humza 

    3 years ago from multan, Pakistan

    Thanks g :)

  • misslong123 profile imageAUTHOR

    Michele Kelsey 

    3 years ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

    As far as I know you can send fan mail multiple times.

  • humzayunas profile image

    Malik humza 

    3 years ago from multan, Pakistan

    But i sent you can i send again ?

  • misslong123 profile imageAUTHOR

    Michele Kelsey 

    3 years ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

    Sorry. I have not received anything yet.

  • humzayunas profile image

    Malik humza 

    3 years ago from multan, Pakistan

    I've sent you mail . Did you got ? fan mail ?

  • misslong123 profile imageAUTHOR

    Michele Kelsey 

    3 years ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

    Once we become writing colleagues, no problem.

  • humzayunas profile image

    Malik humza 

    3 years ago from multan, Pakistan

    Ok I'll but can i add you on facebook ? please

  • misslong123 profile imageAUTHOR

    Michele Kelsey 

    3 years ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

    Feel free to send me fan mail via this website. Thanks! :)

  • humzayunas profile image

    Malik humza 

    3 years ago from multan, Pakistan

    Hi authour ! can i contact you on facebook i want to discuss with you about hub :) personal na please ! :)

  • misslong123 profile imageAUTHOR

    Michele Kelsey 

    3 years ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

    I'm glad you found it useful.

  • humzayunas profile image

    Malik humza 

    3 years ago from multan, Pakistan

    The escape plan in this sketch was really helpful and important :P

  • misslong123 profile imageAUTHOR

    Michele Kelsey 

    4 years ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

    Thanks. I hope they are useful to some who find online dating sketchy. Thanks for stopping by!

  • DDE profile image

    Devika Primić 

    4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

    I don't approve of online dating though your tips sound very helpful.

  • misslong123 profile imageAUTHOR

    Michele Kelsey 

    4 years ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

    Thank you. I agree it is tough to date in today's society. I thought I was through with this mess when I got married as a teenager (boy, was I smart! lol). Then, a grueling decade of dating later, I finally met the love of my life. So, thankfully, I don't have to go through this anymore, but I do have the experience, unfortunately. lol

  • teaches12345 profile image

    Dianna Mendez 

    4 years ago

    I'm so glad that I do not have to go through this process. However, you have given people great advice for getting the best results. My sister met her husband online and they are so happy together. Blessings!

  • misslong123 profile imageAUTHOR

    Michele Kelsey 

    4 years ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

    Thank you. Yes online dating can be a challenge but it's become more and more popular today and without it I would have never met the love of my life. :) Ironically he only lived a half mile from me! Lol.

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 

    4 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Michele, I'm sure glad those days are over with. LOL I had some good ones and some horrible ones.....so naturally I met Bev the normal way...just ran into her by accident on the street. :) Great advice my friend.

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