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Top 3 Ways You Can Help Your Man Feel Secure and Loved

Updated on May 28, 2013

Men Are Not as Secure as You Might Think

As much as they may think they are, most men are NOT Superman, Batman or even Ironman. Men are humans and have issues with feeling secure and loved just like anyone else.

Sure, men may hide their need for recognition, respect, admiration and love behind a reinforced stone wall of impenetrable masculinity - but the need is still there. All men tend to feel weak and vulnerable at times.

Making your man feel loved and secure is simple. You just need to know what to look for, identify his specific needs and respond appropriately.


They May Not Show it, But Men Really DO Care How They Look

If you want to see for yourself if this is true, just head down to the nearest weight room or gym and take a look at all the guys in there trying to get into better physical shape. Take note of all the mirrors and then ask yourself if men really care about their appearance - you know they do!

Where are the hair restoration ads placed in the local newspaper? That's right, in the sports section where men are most likely to look. Most men equate hair with virility.

More and more men these days are getting cosmetic surgery - everything from a simple nip & tuck to a full blown body makeover. Men DO care about how they look, but in a different way than women think.

Learn these three major areas where men are most likely to feel the deepest insecurities and how to make him feel better about himself where he is. If you do this, he'll likely be a better man - for you.


Male Insecurity #1: Physical Appearance

Guys don't look at their bodies the same way women do but they do care a great deal about how they look. Typically, some men want to get bigger and some men want to get leaner. Some men want both. The need to look better, to have a better physical appearance will vary for each man. Most men just want to be in better shape or stay in shape.


The problem is that certain body types and genetic characteristics are apparent in some men and not in others. I knew a guy in high school who was in phenomenal physical condition.

This guy was on just about every sports team, ran marathons - even did the iron-man thing. He also had what most folks would call a "beer belly." Both his folks had the same physical characteristic and it seemed my friend was doomed by genetics.

He never could get rid of that beer belly, even though he is still in great physical condition to this day. Some guys are just stuck with what they get.

To help your man feel more secure and loved, make sure he knows these sometimes undesirable physical traits are not a big deal. Help him stay physically fit by encouraging him to exercise and eat right.


Male Insecurity #2: Hair

The way a man thinks about his hair is sort of strange. Guys don't think about bad hair days like women. Guys think about losing their hair, going bald. For men, having a thick mane of hair is psychologically important.

When a man looks at a picture of himself in high school or college, then realizes his hair is thinning or he is actually balding, he experiences the stark realization that he is getting older. He associates thick hair with all the things he could easily do back then. Losing that thick hair tells him he is diminishing as a man.

I know it sounds silly, but it's true for most men.


No one likes to get older. Men with thinning hair or who are balding are reminded of their mortality every time they look in a mirror or run their fingers through what's left of their hair.

Make your man feel secure and loved by reminding him that appearance is not as important. Or, if he's amenable, you may want to suggest some sort of hair restoration treatment.

One thing you must do for certain - make sure he knows you love him no matter how his hair - or lack of hair appears.


Male Insecurity #3: Getting Older

Speaking of getting older, is there anyone who relishes the fact that each birthday brings us one year closer to the end? Death is inevitable but that doesn't mean your man has to be down or depressed about getting older.


Women typically talk about their body issues with other women, usually close friends. Men don't work that way. Men will not typically acknowledge they're feeling their age or come to realize they can't do what they once could.

To a man, these are signs that he is less than he once was. The "man code" dictates that a man should remain powerful, look cut, buff and physically fit until the very end - when he goes out in a blaze of heroic glory.


As men age, they fear losing their virility - and to them, this is a terrible tragedy. Make your man feel loved and secure by exploring other aspects of his manhood.

Emphasize the parts of your man that make hi unique - his sense of humor, personality or strong character. Everyone gets older and people's physical and mental acuities diminish with time. It's just the way things are.

The trick to getting older is accepting it. Help your man make the best of where he is now.


The Bottom Line on Making Your Man Feel Loved and Secure

Look, all of us guys are getting older, losing physical abilities and maybe don't have the flowing mane of thick hair we had when we were younger.

Even endless exercise, cosmetic surgery and hair implants can only do so much, It's time to realize that loving a man means loving him where he is and who he is - not what he can do for you. I know for certain that a man who feels truly loved will be secure in himself no matter how he looks. I know a man who feels loved and appreciated will do anything for those he loves. He'll love you more for making him feel loved.

The big question is - what are you going to do to make your man feel more loved and secure?


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    • Sue Bailey profile image

      Susan Bailey 4 years ago from South Yorkshire, UK

      I shall bear all this in mind when I start a new relationship. Voted up and interesting.

    • MKayo profile image

      MKayo 4 years ago from Texas

      Denise - Your husband is a very fortunate man - Good on you!

      DDE - Thanks for the read and I'm glad you found it to be helpful.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      People grow and change all the time so changes can make one feel insecure about partners, helpful points here

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      With both my husband and I nearing 60, we have had to deal with the process of aging, and all the things that you mentioned. My husband has family genetics for obesity, and for a long time, I tried to help him with suggestions in that area. Finally, I had to tell myself that I would love him no matter what, and when I told him that, he relaxed and has been a lot happier. I don't nag, and he feels loved and accepted. Its a win-win situation.

    • MKayo profile image

      MKayo 4 years ago from Texas

      vibesites - Wow! I hope every guy can find a woman like you! What a wonderful outlook for your relationship - Hope your guy knows how lucky he is!

    • vibesites profile image

      vibesites 4 years ago from United States

      My guy has always taken notice of his beer belly... I told him he doesn't have to worry because I love him for what he is. In fact, he's extra-huggable! But if he's worried about that and wants to get rid of it, I will support him too, because it would also mean his overall health will improve if he gets leaner. Whether he wants to slim down or not, my love for him is still assured. :)