ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Top 5 Kissing Mistakes

Updated on November 28, 2010

This is being written for men. Partially because I’ve never kissed a woman, and partially because so many men are just so incredibly bad at kissing – and totally unaware of it. It’s absolutely amazing to me, that a man could reach 35 years of age and kiss as badly as he did in junior high school. I mean, people, this issue is totally pandemic. So much so, that many women deal with the problem by refusing to kiss their boyfriends more than occasionally.

Which leads him to think she’s a cold fish, when, in reality, he kisses like one. I’ve kissed quite a few men in my time (that is a literal statement and doesn’t mean I shagged all of them – though, to be sure, I’d have shagged a goodly number more if they hadn’t completely turned me off with their kissing) and I can tell you most men are total shite when it comes to French kissing. Here are the 5 most common mistakes the average man makes.

Tongue Shoving

This is not a joust, do not shove your tongue into a woman’s mouth and expect her to do something with it. Sooo many men do this, it’s incredible. You should enter slowly and then build up pressure; you don’t just thrust your tongue between her teeth and down her throat. It’s not sexy, I promise.

Teeth Cleaning

Hers, not yours. You don’t need to be gliding your tongue across the front, back or sides of my teeth. Did that mental image make you want to chuck? Let me tell you, the chuck factor is greatly amplified when you’re actually experiencing it. Please don’t.

Slobbering

When I was 17 I had an 18 year-old boyfriend who was a fabulous kisser. So much so, in fact, he’s easily in the Top 5, even when compared to men in their 20’s and 30’s who should have been far, far better than a teenaged boy. The only problem? My face was always a bit wet when it was over. Obviously, a passionate kiss is going to result in the exchange of bodily fluids (umm, perverts!), but you should be mindful that you don’t get her too wet. Not there, anyway.

Teeth Knocking

I have experienced this twice in my life, and both times resulted in my ending the kiss, and never kissing the guy again. Knocking your teeth into hers makes for a very awkward situation, especially if it’s the first kiss. We realize you’re nervous, but please no teeth knocking.

Tongue Sucking

Ok – before I get into this one, let me first say that some people dig it. I am not one of them. I do not want my tongue slurped on, and I am not going to tool around with yours, either. If you’re of a mind to try this on someone, I suggest you ask beforehand. I have it on good authority that failure to do so can result in someone biting down. Hard.

Comments

Submit a Comment

No comments yet.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)