Main Reasons for Divorce
There are many reasons why divorce happen to people. In US about 50% marriages end up in divorces. The similar rates are in Sweden, Finland, Luxembourg, Denmark, United Kingdom, Russia and other economically strong countries. The lowest divorce rates are in India, Sri Lanka, Macedonia, Georgia, Armenia and similar countries.
It is very hard to find the most popular reasons for divorces because each case has some personal aspects like each new marriage. When two people come together to create family, many compromises must be done to keep the marriage strong. If this do not happen, the marriage breaks.
There are some reasons that can be stated as the top 5 reasons for divorce. These reasons are statistically most popular reasons. So, it is important to know why marriages beak to be able to avoid some critical mistakes while building relationships.
Reason #1: Infidelity
Infidelity, or simply speaking "cheating" is one of the most popular reason why divorce happen in USA. I suppose that infidelity is reason number one, because there are many marriages that still happen without love. When expectations how your spouse should act fail, the divorce happen, because the new partners appear.
Another reason for cheating is high libido. This is caused by quick marriages. Partners do not even try living together. After the marriage, the routine kills passion, partners cannot stay loyal to each other, because their high libido. And if there is no passion between husband and wife, the cheating happens.
Reason #2: Communication Brekdown
Have you ever heard someone saying that he/she cannot communicate with a partner anymore. Such people often complain about his/hers partner, that they do not understand each other, yell to each other, have different opinions and cannot come to the solution. The communication in a family is not about agreeing with your partner or disagreeing. It is eternal search of the middle point. This middle point is the position, or solution which is acceptable to both partners. It the husband and wife fails in searching this middle point, the communication breakdown happens and this leads to divorce.
Reason #3: Abuse
Abuse can have various forms. It can be physical, psychological or emotional abuse. It may take various forms. It can start with telling a spouse unwanted things and end up with beating. It also can be a name-calling, ignorance to partner's opinion, terror, force, monitoring personal letters or messages. In various families abuse take various forms. Abuse can be dangerous to person's life or mental health, so this is a big reason for divorce. In cases of abuse, psychological help is mostly always
Reason #4: Financial Issues
Money is always delicate subject. Usually people control their finances in completely different ways. So it is natural, that married couples often come to disagreement about various financial issues. In conflict situations a middle point must be found. Otherwise this will end up with communication problem. It is a little bit difficult to find the middle point is partners share completely different financial responsibilities or have unequal monetary status. In most cases financial disagreement in family causes another reasons for divorce happen. Yes, money not always is the most important thing, but solutions concerning financial issues must be deliberated.
Reason #5: Sexual Incompatibility
Sexual compatibility is one of the key factors that holds family together. In most cases love is not enough. If partners are not satisfied with each other sexually, it is possible, that such lack of satisfaction will lead to infidelity, and then to divorce. This problem can be sometimes solved by honesty. Partners should talk about their feeling, wishes and problems. This help to reduce unsatisfactory. Professionals also can be consulted.
Comments
AUTHORdashingscorpio
Also, I would say "When our circumstances change, we change too". I would like to look at this phrase from the other side. It it not only we change ourselves during our life. Circumstances change also. And these changes sometimes do not depend on us. But they are able to influence our personality, feelings, everything. So if changed circumstances lead to infidelity it is not a problem of the wrong mate. I would agree, that this might be a problem of communication. But I am still not sure, about the wrong mate. Off course, love is a strange thing, and can cause many problems. The passion also. While writing this post, I remembered one quote: “if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.” (Johnny Depp). Off course, this quote would support your opinion and I will have to give up. But I would like to bring up a new question to this discussion: Is it really possible to love one person in your whole life? And what about passion. Maybe we see the problem wrongly. Maybe it's not about wrong mates or infidelity.
It's very rare that one's (core values) change. If someone places honesty above all else in their relationship dealings they are likely to communicate their change of heart prior to cheating.
Having said that it is possible that after 20 years someone may "fall out of love", feel neglected, or taken for granted. Another person comes along and puts a smile on their face and in their heart...etc An affair begins and the marriage falls apart. Now some people will say the cheating is what led to the divorce. I on the other hand would say their was a failure in communication which led to the infidelity and utlitmately the divorce. The person doing the neglecting failed to tell their mate they were going to stop doing certain things and their mate failed to illustrate how unhappy they were about it. Once again if two people no longer want the same things they are not "right" for each other.
"When we change, our circumstances change."
- AUTHOR
Well, you are right. I have to admit, that your argument has sense. But then the other question appears. How to know, that the choice is done correctly? Sometimes cheating appears after many years of marriage (e.g. 20 or more years, several children, great memories form the past and so on...). But something happens and all this fails. The question is whereas the choice for mate was wrong or maybe people have changed?
Silwen, I think you'd have to agree that if you don't believe in cheating and your spouse cheats on you then it would be clear that the two of you do not share the (same values). In other words this would be a case of (selecting the wrong mate) for one's self. To say "infidelity" is the cause of the divorce is to ignore the fact that the person who made the decision to cheat was not aligned with your beliefs! They were wrong for you.
- One man's opinion! :-)
- AUTHOR
krillco, I am open for discussions with arguments. I am just a person, so I cannot be completely right or wrong. This article shows my personal opinion and is based on several sources on the Internet. If you think that this information is misleading, give me your arguments and corrections. I will do my best to check your information and correct the mistakes.
- AUTHOR
dashingscorpio, I would like to agree with you. But officially, nobody want to accept, that they have chosen the wrong mate. In many cases this leads to cheating and the reason #1: infidelity. I would say that many other reasons in one way or another lead to infidelity. That is why I personally believe, that partners should live together for some time before marriage. This helps avoiding the wrong decision and divorce.
This article is misleading and just plain wrong.
Actually the #1 reason for divorce is and has always been selecting the wrong mate!
We do this when we have not figured out who we are, what we want, or need in a mate. We also do this when we get married for the wrong reasons. ( age, pregnancy, all my friends are married, been dating for a few years and it was the "logical step", you were given an ultimatum.
When a couple does not (natually agree) on the important things in life they are doomed to fail. Opposites may attract in the short run but like attracts like in the long run. People who share the same values and (naturally agree) on the important things in life tend to be happier and stay together. Who knew??? :-)
There is no amount of "work" or "communication" that can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want!
Selecting the wrong mate is the #1 cause for divorce. One man's opinion! :-)
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