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What Men and Women Desire in a Relationship

Updated on June 14, 2020
Kerrian mcmahon profile image

Kerrian is a professional relationship expert and analyst. She loves to write on her observations and research concerning relationships

Men and women are different in so many ways, but when it comes to relationship needs, the difference isn’t that much. Surprisingly, people experience a lot of relationships and marriage problems, even with the fact that they want the same things. These relationship issues can sometimes be attributed to a breakdown in communication and understanding.

This is why i intend to give some insight into the desires of partners in relationships to help foster healthy relations.

What Women Desire in a Relationship

What women want in a relationship is not so hard and complicated the way people like to say. Here is a list of what women want in a relationship;

1. Devotion and Commitment

When most people go into a relationship, they give and crave a commitment to the other person. You want to enjoy your partner with the exclusivity of others; you desire a togetherness, a united pair that goes from an “I” to a “we.”

A lot of women are devoted to their relationships. So they want a partner who is committed and dedicated to the relationship lovingly and respectfully—showing respect and interest to everything relating to her - her family, friends, needs, and happiness.

Devotion and commitment are emotional investments, so women want and appreciate a partner who is willing to make that investment truthfully in a relationship.

2. Unconditional love

In addition to communication and understanding, love is a good foundation for a good relationship.

Where there is unconditional love in a relationship, there is affection and care. There is concern about the feelings and wellbeing of their partner in situations and decision-making. There is forgiveness, encouragement, acceptance, respect, and togetherness. Unconditional love is one of the strongest bonds that partners can have in a relationship, and most women want it.

3. Emotional and sexual intimacy

Intimacy, both emotionally and sexually, is essential in a relationship. When there is emotional intimacy, the couple understands each other perfectly. They are in sync; they get each other and can read each other’s body language without having to speak.

It is a bond that the truly committed and devoted couples share. Women want a partner to bond and sync with them on this level. This is why some men think women want a mind reader, no, they just want someone to care enough to share and understand their feelings and authentic self. This bond comes in handy in resolving conflicts when they arise between the couple.

All women want sexual intimacy in a relationship as well. With attraction, love, and devotion comes the desire to bond romantically and sexually with their partners; a deep sexual bond coupled with love can transcend all else.

4. Communication

The importance of communication in a relationship cannot be overemphasized. Women want their partners to communicate their feelings, thoughts, and desires transparently and honestly.

They want truthfulness, communication, and thoughtfulness in a relationship; it shows a commitment and willingness to be in the relationship. It shows that the man or partner values the relationship and is a decent person.

5. Companionship and Affirmation

This is perhaps the most desired trait by most women when going into a relationship. The desire to have a companion, a trusted friend, and a loving mate to share everything, laugh, plan, play, and grow old together.

It is important for women to have a partner who is always in their corner, supportive, thankful, helpful, building a life with them, encouraging, bringing out the best, and showing confidence in them. It is a great feeling and a very valid desire.

And not only should a partner be these things but it is also important to tell her too. Affirm it. Let her know that she is your best friend, life mate, and companion. This would boost her confidence in the relationship, and her feeling of intimacy for you.

What Men Want in a Relationship

Some men have a problem with communicating their issues or needs in a relationship with their partner or spouse; instead, they would seek out support from their friends. This communication gap can create strains in a relationship, leaving women who crave an emotional bond and friendship with their partner struggling to understand what it is precisely that their partner or husband wants in a relationship.

Here are the top five things that men desire in a relationship;

1. Sex

Sex is essential to men in a relationship. For most men, the sum of bonding, intimacy, and emotional connection in a relationship is S-E-X.

A lot of men admit that sex is the topmost desire for them in a relationship or marriage.

2. Love and Demonstration of Affection

Although sex is vital to men, they also crave love and affection. Even more importantly, they desire a demonstration of affection. Men see a display of affection much like anyone would see it – as an expression of love.

Whether it’s showing care to him, holding his hand in public, acknowledging his concerns, cheering him on, expressing your love for him orally, and being playful. They love it. It solidifies their belief in your passion, commitment, and devotion.

Although they won’t demand it, they love emotional and romantic gestures too – a note here, a kiss there, a little flirtation or a massage, you should try it.

3. Freedom

A suffocating, controlling, or jealous closeness has driven a lot of men farther from their partners. Men desire freedom. They don’t want you to be on them every time about their activities or choices. People need space sometimes to get their thoughts together and think about who they are as individuals.

Let your partner breathe; he will be happier for it knowing that you trust him enough to let him have his space. A woman will also have to think if she is willing to be accepting of this or not.

4. Forgiveness

You would wonder why this should be a big deal for men. Men are quite particular about forgiveness in a relationship.

Not because they would need it often, but because of the nature of some women. Some women hold grudges and nag always about an issue that was supposed to have been forgiven and forgotten.

Men hate when their partner nags – if you forgive, you should as well forget and let the relationship move forward without a constant reminder of a mistake.

5. Respect and Appreciation

Men also desire respect and appreciation, just like every human being. What would a relationship be without the respect and admiration of one’s partner? Although, due to the infamous ego of men, they crave this much more.

Men love respect, reassurance, praise, and appreciation. When a man is not being cheered on, or actively supported by his partner in a relationship, he feels discouraged and is more likely to seek applause somewhere else.

Nagging and blaming can make a man feel defeated. You should applaud and appreciate your partner more; it strengthens the relationship, just like it strengthens his confidence.

Conclusion

Knowing your partner's needs will help you both understand and build a stronger relationship. So, as a man or woman, after reading this, do you feel that you meet your partner’s needs? What do you intend to do more of in your relationship?


This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Kerrian McMahon

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