- Gender and Relationships
The Easy Guide To Make Any Woman Like You, For Men Going Their Own Way
Greg Dean - Social Strategist and M.G.T.O.W Coach
Style & Swagger 101 for MGTOW's
I am sometimes criticised for being extremely stubborn when given fashion advice. I agree. I am extremely stubborn. But I DO listen. I fight back when getting criticised, but later, when I am not being lambasted, I get my fashion on track. However, several things I will not give up, regardless of fashion trend changes; necklaces and leather wristbands. I love them. And when they go completely out of fashion, I will be the one standing out. It is then up to me to up the ante by walking with swagger and an upbeat personality.
Besides, if I was to ALWAYS change every single time a magazine changes what is cool I would simply be a sheep. I am not a sheep. Those that know me understand my lion mentality.
The fact is though, you MUST listen to SOMEBODY, regardless of how much it stings.
Fight them on the spot, ok. But listen and apply later when your ego isn't taking a beating. Don't simply dismiss the advice. You are receiving this advice from somebody because they not only care about you, but they see hope and potential in you.
It is the same about your weight. If your close friend tells you that you are growing a belly, listen and act. Deny it on the spot if you will, but then hit the gym.
So, here's what to do:
- Be open to new trends. Myself, I have bucked the trend for wearing a scarf and likely enough, by the time I come around to wearing one, it will begin to go out of fashion. But I will try.
- Black shoes are fine, but they are boring.
- Give women something to play with. A stylish necklace or a trendy tie works a charm. Over a recent break I bought a small buddha necklace, much to the dismay of my wingman. He said it wasn't cool. I bought it anyway. Why? Because it was a talking topic. The women I met ALL played with it and asked me questions about it. PERRRRFECT.... a great conversation starter. Did it stop me from building stunning attraction with a very beautiful European girl? No. It enhanced the opportunity to talk with her.
- Dress for the occasion but a little bit better. Most guys all blend in at the bars and clubs. So spending a little more fashion now pays off when women are giving you the eye. In order to spend your money wisely, I have a few people you can contact. But I suggest having a decent female friend to take you out shopping.
In life, you are judged in seconds, whether you are applying for a job, to be somebody's long term boyfriend, or her fling for the night. And with so much judgment going on, the most immediate way to stand out is with good fashion and swagger.
Swagger is different to style. Swagger is a way of carrying yourself regardless of what you wear. For me, my personality beams out and it either accentuates my fashion (when I get it right, and up to my friends approval), or it compensates for when I don't get it right. Not everybody has this gift of natural personality and charm. And if you don't, ok. Just develop style and swagger.
When I get fashion wrong, I still approach and make up for any lack, with giving high value conversation and great feelings. I think, "Ahhh...I will give her an opportunity to take me shopping later." But for those with a massive lack of confidence and conversational skill, you do not have this advantage.
Master Social Strategy with Greg Dean. M.G.T.O.W Brisbane on Meetup.com. Men Going Their Own Way
The Lost Art of Conversational Attraction and a Genuine Compliment. Advice For Life After Divorce
Often I tease girls. The cuter they are the more i tease them to make them laugh. Nothing changed since school. Girls tease boys and boys tease girls if they like them.
But beyond this is a rare moment when she will REALLY get into you. It is when the flirty games move to the side for just one moment, when you both stop laughing, and you have that...'moment'. You can just feel it. You both feel it
In this moment, that only lasts a moment, you can lose your smile and calmly, with a slower voice, give her a GENUINE compliment about something that perhaps few people ever recognise in her.
It's not, "You are so cute" or, "You have the most beautiful eyes". These kinds of compliments only convey to her that you want to sexually seduce her. This is not the time to do that.
A GENUINE compliment has nothing to do with her looks, laugh, smile or 'energy'. You must recognise something in her that she may not even see in herself. Look deep. Think about this. When you were getting to know her, what did you admire? When was that first moment you really got butterflies in your stomach? When did you feel that this girl was for you? When was that?
If you want to get an idea of what to compliment a girl on, think about if she was to compliment you. Aside from her calling you a handsome man, great kisser etc... what could she say to you to make you realise that she was REALLY falling for you? What did she see inside of YOU that you had always wished she would see?
Often I coach guys, who I meet at seminars, ultra nice guys who say to me, "If only she saw 'THIS' in me I wouldn't be in the friend zone!"
And so I ask you, if you were both flirting, teasing comfortably, with a light hear and the vibe is great, in that moment, what could you see in her that she always wished a great guy would see? This is your shining moment. Don't be shy. Express it like a man. Claim it. Own it. Give it as a gift. Have that moment.
And in that moment, there is the opportunity to move in for the kiss. This moment is where you begin to maybe, just maybe, start a new love affair with a great woman.
The only precaution to this is - do not compliment a woman if she doesn't deserve it, unless she is just a friend. To pile on the compliments to a girl who receives the same ones every day, just keeps you in the friend zone, or as no option at all.
Deliver that GENUINE compliment when you are both alone, ideally. It allows you to share it and remember it later.
Of course, remember that if you genuinely fall in love, then you must always find something about her that you truly do love, or very soon you will be learning how to divorce.
It WILL last in her head for life IF she is hooked.
Greg Dean - The Art of Attracting Beautiful Women. Available on ITunes, Amazon, Barnes & Noble
Do you have a social strategy? - DIvorce Advice and Single's Advice For Men Going Their Own Way
The people you hang out with determine your success 'out in the field'. If you hang out with social fools, you will be lumped into the same bucket as them and you will be treated as you are perceived. So, if you hang out with drinkers, people who choose an inactive lifestyle, lack confidence, don't have credibility or status, are constantly down on themselves but refuse to recognise their responsibility in their issues, YOU are being dumped into the same category.
1) Be the guard at the door of your mind.
A good social strategy is to begin offering your value to the higher status individuals you want to have in your inner circle. For example, I am extremely choosey as to who I allow into my realm. My friends are all hard working entrepreneurs and are extremely socially savvy. But that does not mean that the likes of Richard Branson would want me in HIS inner circle. At this stage, I am not sure what value I could provide to him to make him want to invite me to his parties, events or island and introduce me to his high status friends.
However, while there are elite professionals who are 1000 times ahead of us, living at a higher level, I may only be 5-10 steps ahead of you in my social strategy.
What I'm saying is, that what I can teach you will allow you the chance to catch up. Social success with the opposite sex is entirely achievable in a short amount of time. But it doesn't mean that I am ready to invite you in, because unless I see you adding real value to my life, by not making excuses and you are also able to assist me socially and not drag me down, you need to EARN your way into that inner circle.
You do this by adding as much value as possible to the people you want to be around; the people you want to learn from. By doing this, you will learn all you need and be able to apply it, while at the same time making your new friends trust you and be happy to invite you.
Some people are not ready to let go. If this is you, then take some time out to ask yourself what your current set of friends give you and what they do to prevent you reaching your ultimate goals of excitement, happiness and contentment.
Ask yourself what you need to invest of yourself to earn your way to a better circle of friends. When you are there and you are achieving, your old friends may really try to step up as you have just set a new pace for success in life.
2) Rid yourself of throwback fashion and reflect in the mirror.
Look in the mirror. Is your fashion a throwback to the 80's? Can you just not let go? Do you look like a redneck or a slob? Are you tucking your t-shirt into your jeans when you have a gut? Do you believe that this is the look that attracts women you fall for? If so, do you have CONSISTENT evidence proving that what you wear attracts women, or are you being friend zoned and 'air kissed' by women who generally do not seem affectionate with you?
Get GQ magazine. Look at fashion magazines. What hair styles are in. Do they wear t-shirts in or out? Are jeans baggy or tight?
Are you wearing what is good for your size? Tight shirts and t-shirts won't suit you if you are big around the tummy. But you can get them fitted for size. You can also hit the gym with no excuses and wear cool jackets.
3) Curb your bad habits and bad language.
This is a big one. If you have beer breath or milk breath and fail to test your breath, you are losing many opportunities.
For every time you say the F word, there is a woman who is cringing, as though you are scratching your nails down a blackboard.
Classy guys get the classy girls. 'Rough gut guys' get the 'rough gut' girls. What type of girl do you want?
You are a hybrid of the top 5 people you hang out with. Now is the time to make some hard decisions as to whether you want these people in your life as you head towards your new one.
Greg Dean - The Art of Teasing Gorgeous Women. Available on iTunes, Amazon, Barnes & Noble
Be a Lover. Not a Fighter
Never Nag or seek her attention. Simply be attractive.
Social media is a great way to prove that you are in fact an attractive guy. But one issue that many guys make is that once they have the brief attention of a pretty girl, they continue trying to chat to her, even when she is extremely slow to reply. Eventually she sees that he is just trying to latch onto her and putting in way too much effort. This is the same with SMS and phone calls.
Late last year I had an affair with a pretty girl. She had come out of a long term relationship and just wanted to have some fun. So I was not the only man she had met after the break up. But it was only a short term thing. We stayed friends on Facebook. However, after several months it was almost impossible to catch up with her. She was in effect a butterfly.
She was slow to reply or did not reply at all, or sometimes just replied with a smiley face. But I did like her and wanted to see her again. However, I thought it was blown and consoled myself to move on, which I did. But I did know that I could go back to her later, using a valuable technique I had learned long ago. And it worked most of the time. I will lay it out to you here.
The best way to catch this girl who is now ignoring you, is to display attractive qualities with great photos, inciteful and comedic status updates and of course you in the company of other attractive women.
If you have written her several messages and she has not replied, it does not mean you have lost her. It only means that amongst all of the guys who are vying for her attention, you have not yet proven your value. Leave it for a while. But out your social media savvy into full effect.
Whenever you update your status, ensure that it can create controversy of some kind. That may mean photos of yourself in precarious positions that your Facebook friends love to comment on. Or perhaps you are making some off the cuff remark about the differences between men and women. I have found that both genders love to weigh in on the debate. In fact, some of my most commented Facebook messages are controversial.
Recently though, I amped up my status updates with photos of a very pretty girl in a bikini that I had had a romantic affair with recently while overseas. As she was from a foreign country, I wrote some words in her language that other people would not understand.
My value went up. Not only did it show that beautiful women were happy to be with me, but it also showed that I had skills in speaking another language.
Then, I uploaded some very professional business photos I hired somebody to take for me. Being me, I took a crack at my own photos, to be down to earth. While a few male friends made a couple of jokes about calling me "mr blue steel", the beautiful women I have on my Facebook began to leave these highest compliments, such as, "wow!", "you are seriously a model." , "Greg you are very handsome, seriously."
With the photos of my romantic liaison, the professional photos and the massive compliments from stunning women, my value was piqued.
Just a few nights ago I logged in to Facebook to see several messages from her, asking how I am, what have I been doing, that she loved my photos and THEN asking who the girl was that I had met. Finally she asked if I would like to catch up with her.
Here was a girl who kept her distance as I was coming at her, now coming at me because I left her alone but promoted my great life and my high value using social media.
So you can guess where this will go next.
Don't shove yourself down a girls throat. Don't chase that cute little possum. Hold out the nuts in your hand, steadily and softly and it will eventually come to eat from the palm of your hand.
Stand Strong and Be Confident At All Times
Being a MGTOW Does NOT Mean Shutting Out Women Completely - Women Are Very Affectionate - How To Draw Them Out.
From birth, people have fawned over them, touched them, hugged them, kissed them and made them feel like princesses. They are very accustomed to touch and in fact, can feel lost without the physical connection between other humans.
They are the female gender.
We see women walking down the street holding hands, sitting on each others laps, hugging and kissing their male and female friends and flirting with anyone who is even moderately attractive. And it is natural for them to do so.
This is very different from men, who can sometimes see women as sexual objects only and feel put off when an unattractive, overweight female becomes flirty.
Women can flirt and not be sexually attracted, and they can define their physical affection as nothing more than casual friendship. Just because she is flirting with you, it doesn't mean you are in with a chance.
In short, women love touch and can easily separate this from deeper feelings. It is simply in their nature to be affectionate.
So why are they not being affectionate to you and how can you make it happen?
It all comes down to two things:
The 'creep factor'.
If you just stand there with your hands behind your back or in your pockets, you will very quickly make a woman feel uncomfortable. You aren't touching her casually, making that connection. To her, you are being creepy and she does not like it. By you not touching her back or shoulder, briefly holding her hand or giving her the odd non-committal hug, you are making her feel entirely uncomfortable.
The 'slime factor'.
The other way you will creep her out is with the 'slime factor'. This is where you are just sleazy, overt and attempt to touch "side boob" without first gaining her permission. Many guys who appear slimy tend to leer over her, try to catch as many shots of her cleavage as possible and are always too hands on. When this happens, these slimy guys are so into their own perverted world that they fail to see the obvious, that her body is tense and she is staring out at anyone who might come in and rescue her.
IF YOU ARE NOT TOUCHING HER INNOCENTLY YOU ARE NOT COMMUNICATING WITH HER EFFECTIVELY.
The simple fact is, you may be afraid to touch her, but you are destroying any chance you have with her by not communicating in her language. Her language is kinaesthetic, meaning, she communicates subversively via touch and affection.
You MUST get her comfortable with your touch from the moment you open conversation.
Superhero Theory and a Woman's Constant Tests
I watched a superhero films all my life. They are my favourite type of movie.
I realised they offer many insights when it comes to the attraction women have for men. Put the superhero powers aside for a moment. You'll never get those. You will never shoot laser beams from your eyes or webs from your wrists.
But strength of character, like a superhero is the most important factor in long term attraction. Here is how you can strengthen your own character:
Superhero's are aloof to their lady, yet give them extra attention at the pivotal moments...when it counts.
Everybody loves them. The woman loves being the special one out of the many. This also counts when they know there are many others. As the crowd waves at the superhero, he will wave back, and wink at his girl.
Superhero's have the strength to face all challenges.
They are not always there when WANTED, but always there when NEEDED. (Big difference).
Superhero's project loyalty to a greater cause than their relationships. Their woman is not the be-all-end-all. A superhero always has a higher purpose in his life than his woman, yet always makes a little time for her.
They spread their attention around, making the love interest WORK for their attention.
This all works to create LASTING attraction. No superhero's love interest has ever been able to break their attraction, even when that damsel is dating another man. The superhero will always pull her back in.
Lois Lane loves Superman. She is obsessed with him. She feels his energy and is drawn to it. She will go anywhere for this man who can save her, provide danger for her, and sweep her off her feet.
When he is Clarke Kent, a weak, fumbling man in glasses, she cannot even be decent with him! She steps on him.
Superman Returns, Lois has had Superman's Child!! AND her current boyfriend is a good provider, raising Superman's son, believing it is his. So, he is not that strong, but provides. He is raising Superman's child, and Lois allows him to believe that it is his! (Read a book called Sperm Wars). This is a dirty trick. She will not let her provider go. She will always have eyes for Superman.
When you are an alpha man, you will attract a more physically attractive and confident woman.
As Peter Parker, Mary-Jane steps on him. In fact, she will date EVERYBODY around him, including his best friend, but not him. She treats him like her gay best friend. When he is Spiderman, she will even cheat on her other boyfriends who seem to be great providers. In fact, at one point she starts dating an astronaut. The status of her boyfriends get higher and higher. She dumps Peter's best friend for the astronaut, an even higher status male. Yet even while dating the astronaut, nothing beats her attraction for Spiderman.
It is not that the woman is looking for financial gain in my opinion, but that he has stepped up to be in strength, confidence and is a rock. In turn she gives him all of her feminine energy.
It's a great trade-off.
So if you aren't getting any action, have a look at how you are perceived from how you act.
She cannot help how she is attracted to somebody and not you. She had no choice. Her genetics choose. She is looking for the strongest genetic traits for her children o ensure their survival. She wants an adventure because her life is never as interesting as when the superhero is in it.
Batman will have the girls no matter what. He is strong on both sides of his personality. He is alpha and wealthy by day, dark and brooding by night.
The wolverine is just a badass who makes the older women quiver at the knees. He won't be around forever. He is a lone wolf. He is a fly by night. A woman wants him to sneak into her room and ravage her and have her yearning for more. He will be gone by sunlight . Yet as dark and hurt as he is, his morals and values make him a powerful long term attractor.
If you worked these essentials into your strengthening personality you would be a star.
Watch these movies and you will see what I mean.
In fact, hire every superhero film made since the Christopher reeves superman 1 and 2. Don't worry too much about superman 3 and 4. They are just painful.
If you can strengthen your character now, as you prepare yourself for implementing all the lessons in this book, you will be ready for anything.
Believe it or not, and I am sure you know this, as sweet, kind and caring women look, they have some crazy notions about life. Because of the feminist movement, they have come to believe that they can rule the world. They believe they have not had a fair deal and they have a victim mentality about it. It's all about the girl power and taking back what was theirs. Unfortunately, they don't realise that they already had the power all along.
I want you to hammer this home: women are the selectors, men are the attractors. Women have all the power when it comes to dating and in order to select a mate they will throw out constant tests to see whether a man is strong enough to take her on. You know this. And if you haven't been getting laid, it is because you have failed these tests many times over. By living a superhero attitude you will begin to handle these tests.
But there are many tests, they come out of nowhere and you need to be quick on your toes.
When women withhold sex, men come to believe that they need to try harder and that women have all of the power. I am going to share a secret that women may not know and you should embrace: the more they withhold sex, the less attractive a woman becomes. The less attractive she becomes, the less power she has over you. Lets put it another way; if a woman you like makes you believe that sex is on the table, she has the power. When a woman makes you believe sex is on the table, yet does not deliver quickly on that promise, the genuine attraction should start to fade. Beautiful women are everywhere, so the odds are, you will definitely find a girl who will treat you better who will be much more attracted to you.
I'm also going to reveal my secret weakness so that you know that I am penetrable. Even superman has his kryptonite. The only test I tend to fail when it comes to women throwing them out, is her silence. If I SMS her or call and she doesn't return my call, I know I should just wait forever for her to call back. But I don't. I think of the next thing I will say. I will lose her attraction by giving her my power. Can you imagine superman hoping lois will call? Not gonna happen! Yet, I still find myself cracking when I really, deeply like a girl. If she's just pretty, I am fine. But when I have a deep attraction beyond her looks, I yearn for her and start to hope and pray for her contact.
Ok, so now that I have revealed my only weakness, think about yours. What tests do women throw out to test your strength? Do you always buy her drinks or dinner? Are you there for her at her beckoned call? Do you listen to her bleed out her feelings about not finding a nice man, yet fails to notice you, the nice guy, and you totally take it?
Women will test you automatically and not even think about it. Women are automatically un-needy when not in love. They are the selectors. They will go cold on you in a split second. I have seen it happen to many guys, who wind up completely confused.
And where this changes is when an alpha superhero steps in who passes every little test. And here is why: He acknowledges the test and thinks he must take it. He spends too much time on it. An alpha superhero is too busy to put up with her tests. He just spends his time charming the pants off her, making her all giggly.
Later in this book, you will learn the best way to handle any tests she throws at you, is by teasing her like you were back in the school yard. You will remain unaffected and laugh it off and in turn, she will respect you more and become attracted.
Become a superhero. Your arch nemesis is her tests. Battle it out like a hero. Be strong and be unaffected. At the end of the day, only the smart girls will stay. The dumb, silly girls who rely solely on their looks will play their games elsewhere. The good girls who are sexy, fun and intelligent will stick around and these are the ones you want to strive to meet. They are the ones who will complete you.
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Approach or Die With Regret, For Men Going their Own Way.
It sounds loaded doesn't it?
None of us are getting any younger. In fact, I would hazard a guess, that the women you were attracted to 10 years ago, may not be so attractive anymore. But in saying this, perhaps you are now attracted to women who are 10 years younger than you.
This is common.
Younger women are more playful and can keep you feeling alive and excited.
But what is missing in SO MANY men I have coached, is this terrifying fear of approach. They just freeze! At the beginning, I push them into set and they just push back. They won't go in. So, often I must go in for them and strike up a conversation with the girl my client was interested in.
But what do you think happens?
Well, now she is more attracted to ME and not him. I am the one who stepped up to the plate, meaning I was the alpha in the situation, and he, the Beta.
I just blew out a potential relationship because I was the one fronting up. Love lost. Game over.
Luckily for us guys, we have an amazing advantage over women. Guys in their 40's STILL have a great chance to date women in their 20's. Women do not have this option in their 40's. So thank your stars. This means a MULTITUDE of new beautiful women for you to approach.
But why was I able to approach my clients love interest so freely?
It is because I had spent so long doing it over and over again over the years that it has numbed me. I have been rejected time and time again. And i have succeeded time and time again until eventually I was just free of any fear of approach.
Removing the FEAR of approach is one the hardest tasks to master. And to remove the fear, often you need somebody in your corner cheering for you no matter what. You friends might laugh at you and tear you down. So maybe they are not the ideal people to go out with.
But also, guys who have mastered their fears and are having great success with women won't be so happy to have you join their clique, because they have earned their stripes and you haven't in their eyes. They may fear that you will drag them down and ruin their vibe.
And so you are left with one task:
APPROACH OR DIE WITH REGRET:
If there is a room of 100 pretty women, and you can't even approach one set to open a decent conversation, you WILL die with many regrets. You are not getting younger and so the older you get, the harder it is to attract successfully. Anyone can attract a 40-something and above, divorced lady because she knows she is up against it in the social scene. But to attract a younger woman, means you need to start working on your fears now.
The best way is to imagine you are a happy child in the playground. Do you remember when you could just walk up to any kid and ask, 'Hey do you wanna be friends?"...BAM! Instant new best friend.
And now, here you are 30, 40 or 50 years later and socially retarded.
You can gain it all back. Never lose another opportunity. To take control of your fear, I recommend
- Never being outcome dependent;
- Approach any set confidently and just say. "Hi." (practice the techniques later when I get to show you);
- Be good energy;
- Fake it until you make it;
- Breathe deep before you go in;
- Imagine that you will not fail;
- Don't play any rejection scenarios in your head;
If you never approach you have a 100% failure rate of getting the girl. If you approach,
your odds are at 50/50.
And even if you know you have no social skills, be happy, because even a blind mouse can sometimes find the cheese.
When you eventually become numb to approaching you will just realise that it wasn't so bad after all.