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Top ten signs your marriage is in trouble

Updated on February 14, 2015

We men are by nature insensitive and uncaring. We cover up our inadequacies with loud laughs and lots of drinking. We are crude, uncultured, shortsighted, and unappreciative. And those are our good qualities. It's a miracle that women marry men knowing there is nothing right with men. So it's no surprise that marriages fail, because we just don't get it. In fact if there is a surprise it is why only half of all marriages fail and not every one of them.

Knowing that you ladies made a mistake marrying us in the first place, it's important you ladies to keep your eyes open for the inevitable signs of trouble, because once you marry a man you know trouble is only a matter of time.


Your marriage is in trouble when...

1- He doesn't remember where you met, how you met, your anniversary, your birthday, your interests, or your name.

2- In public he calls you his sister, or if you are showing some skin, his distant cousin.

3- He uses your butt as a target for his dart practice.

4- He named his dog after you and expects you to be flattered.

5- He keeps asking you to set him up with your sister.

6- He uses your sweaters to wash his car with, and then faults you for ruining his paint.

7- He keeps auctioning your kidneys on ebay.

8- He has tried to put you up for adoption more than once, as a favor to you.

9- He has another wife and he remembers her name.

10- He has quit his job so he can become a country singer.

Honorable Mentions

- His bucket list includes streaking a football game.

- He has been on trial multiple times for faking being a psychiatrist but has avoided jail time by pleading insanity.

- The only reason gambling is not his worst attribute is that he has a drug problem.

- When you try to have a serious conversation with him he responds by making monkey sounds and swinging from the chandelier.

And now it's your turn

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