Tough Love Will Bring Sober Love in The End

For anyone that knows me, you know that on October 26, 2009 was my last dance with alcohol, and on the morning of October 27, 2009 was my first day of a long road to recovery, and the start of my long term sobriety.

I can say my wife and children put up with my alcoholism for the greater part of my marriage, and to tell you the truth I don't know how they stood by my side all those years, but they did because of the deep love and the concern they had for me as a husband and a father.

None of us are perfect, but there comes a time in your life that you just need to make that drastic change whether you like it or not. I guess it depends on what is more important to you in your life, your family, or your addiction to alcohol.

It took many years for me to finally get out of the denial I was living in and finally admit,"yes I do indeed have a severe addiction to alcohol and something must be done in order to save my life and the lives of the very ones that have been by my side for all these years.

As scary as it may be, anyone that has a spouse that is addicted to alcohol knows that trying to reason with their alcoholic other is a hard thing to accomplish. Many times you may think you are beating your head against the wall knowing that the one you love and care for is just not getting what you are saying.

So many times it takes tough love in order to find that sober love in the end. Tough love for many is hard to do because the sober one thinks to them self that they are going to hurt their alcoholic spouses feelings, and possibly get into a fight because all your trying to do is to help him/her to get sober. With my experience with drinking and abusing alcohol, "tough love will bring sober love in the end and I am proof of that."

I'll never forget these words as long as I shall live. "Mark, it is either me or your alcohol addiction. You make the call. The ball is in your court right now!" Keep drinking and I'll be out of here, or stop drinking and we will live to be old together.

Well, many people may think that would be a threat, but in my case I didn't want to lose my family all because of a avoidable addiction to alcohol.

Tough love changed my life, and when you think about it, the sober spouse that is giving tough love to the alcoholic is doing it not to hurt them, but to help them realize, you may, and probably will lose everything because of your addiction.

If you truly love someone enough, you will make the right decision a stop drinking. It has to stop sooner or later, or each one of us alcoholics will die with nothing, and die a lonely person.

Is alcohol really worth losing everything in your life, including your own life in the end? We can not continue to drink the way we do, because as you know our addiction to alcohol will sooner or later catch up with us, and then you might as well say, your life is over!

Everyone of us that have, or had an addiction to alcohol know that it is so hard to let something like alcohol go, when alcohol has been a huge part of our lives.

For myself, when I decided to stop drinking it truly was the hardest thing I ever had to decide on, but when I think about it now, it was very simple. The question was, "do I love my wife and children more than my addiction?" If you truly love your family the answer should be very simple.

You just have to stand up to your addiction and say "GOODBYE DEMONS!" It has been a real journey with you (my demons) as you ruined my life and made me look like crap. Now it is time to say goodbye once and for all so that I can have my life back, and to love my wife and children like I once did before you came into my life.

As hard as it may be for you to give tough love to the one you love and cherish, it has to be done in order to get your love of your life back on track and start to live that life of sobriety.

Sure it may hurt inside knowing that you just may be adding fuel to the fire, but it worked for me, and I bet it will work for you, and then you too will have that love of your life back, clean and sober.

For the alcoholic in question, you will be pissed off for sure, but in the end, you will thank your spouse for they have saved your marriage and your life. You now can live the life you were put on this Earth to live, and that is a sober life.