True Gossips

• His and Hers Children

The true story is about a married couple both have a child each from previous marriages.

He has a son and she has a daughter.

Both young adults are almost twenty one, and the parents got married two years ago.

The children live with them.

They used to get on fairly well, but recently they had a serious fight and now they refuse to talk to each other.

The husband and wife are worried this may cause problems between them.

• What can they do?

It is however, very important for the couple to stand together on this situation.

There must be no ''your child did this or did that'' from either of parents and it must be made clear that neither of the parents should take sides.

Don't try to avoid the situation that would just teach them that ignoring people and being rude can resolve conflict.

It would also allow them to get away with selfish behavior.

They must not be allowed to create an unpleasant atmosphere in your home without considering how it affects the husband and wife.

Call a family meeting, and tell your children that you and your husband won't tolerate uncouth and disrespectful behavior, and that they are behaving as children, not young adults.

Tell them you and you and their dad are going to observe as their talk to each other about the problem between them.

Stipulate two rules for the meeting:

They should use acceptable language and address each other with respect.

Secondly, if they can't resolve the matter you and dad will discuss the situation together and will come back to them with a joint opinion and advice.

• Flirting Widow Emails Your Man

Emails to your husband from a widow has been going on for eighteen months at his work email address and the widow is known to both of you.

Most of the messages are innocuous, but a few have been inappropriate.

For example ''I fancy you a lot'' and ''You are so special to me.''

She sends these messages to another man and also to a few women under the guise of friendship.

If anyone objects she can claim she sends the same messages to everyone.

You didn't mind it at first but now you feel she has a crossed the line.

She is clearly on a fishing expedition, hoping someone such as your husband will take the bait.

Her friends have commented about your husband being a catch and a great guy which makes you suspect she has spoken to them about him.

When you told your husband that you are unhappy about all of this he said, ''she meant nothing to him.'' He says he doesn't take it personally and feels sorry for her.

However, he is annoyed when you read his emails and also he replies to her emails.

• Do you think her emails her harmless?

• Should the woman ignore these emails or take action by speaking to her and or should she ask her husband to end it?

Sometimes men are the last to realize women are making a play on them so that man may honestly believe the widow has no hidden intentions.

Her emails may simply intrigue him and stroke his ego without him being romantically interested in her in the slightest.

If she does have a hidden agenda then the wife should put a stop to it.

As she is a friend of both and your husband used that to your advantage.

Phone her as a friend and say although you know she may not mean anything by the emails you would appreciate it, if she would send them to you.

If she has nothing to hide she will agree and apologize.

If she has an ulterior motive she will continue as is then you will know she is up to something and can insist with a clear conscience your husband end their correspondence.

• Husband thinks new baby is his.

A couple married happily for ten years and has two beautiful boys. Last December the wife met up with a guy she had known long before she was married.

They had a fling and she fell pregnant.

The wife realizes her huge mistake and even made an appointment for an abortion.

At the last minute she couldn't go through with it. She told her lover but he is also married and has a child so they agreed to break all contact.

She is expecting his baby and her husband believes he is the father.

He is so excited!

Financially they are unable to support the child but it kills her to think he will be raising a child that is not his and he will never know, unless the child looks like neither of them.

She also feels no connection to the baby and can't bring herself to accept it.

Everyone thinks she is thrilled in having another child. If only they knew. She feels so alone and is going insane with panic.

She is unable to tell her husband the truth there is no way she could do it.

The situation is complex and there is no easy answer. It can be debated for many points of view including the religious.

• What advice would give to someone in this position?

The interests of the baby, an innocent party in the situation, and must be put first.

The baby deserves love. security and happiness. Confessing to her husband, while easing her guilt, would mess up several lives.

Should the wife try to keep her secret even though it is a terrible burden to bear alone?

It is a traumatic experience for one to find out after many years that he is not the father of the child.

If she told her husband things could be ruined, and any possibility of a good future can be out the window.

• Should she let the matter be and get on with her life?

If something happened to make her confess in the future she would have won some time. It could soften the impact of the trauma and maybe make it easier for her husband to forgive her.

It is difficult to keep such a secret for any period of time.

Situations in life can be problematic but the choices one makes can change their lives in seconds, from good to bad or bad to worse.

How one chooses to live with their lies and deceit is entirely up to the individual.

The power of lives is usually about, money, relationships, evil and intimacy which many people neglect and take for granted.

When control is lost things get out of hand and the innocent people in one’s life is affected by the cruelty of the other.

You give love and take love, feel love and make love, above all, if you abuse love you don’t deserve love.

From one life to another challenges are experienced and promises made are meant to be broken. You can’t undo the mistake made hurting the feelings of others is often how one gets what they want and need from others.

Most people don’t realize how they hurt their loved ones because they are so wrapped up in their own worlds. They just forget the reality of life, and what or who is right next to them.

The person right next to you will always be the one to help you out in your worst of times while the one you are searching for won’t be as trustworthy or reliable to you.

Focus on what is close to you than that or who is far-fetched.