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Trust: How it can make or break your relationship

Updated on July 25, 2012
How do you think Angelina and Brad stay together?  They communicate well and trust each other!  That is key in any relationship!
How do you think Angelina and Brad stay together? They communicate well and trust each other! That is key in any relationship! | Source

To trust or not to trust?

Trust is a touchy subject for a lot of couples in today's society. With the media portraying sex all over the place, I don't blame everyone for being so confused. But the reality is, if there is no trust in a relationship, then there can be no relationship. In order for a relationship to be true, loving and healthy, there needs to be trust between both people involved. Relationships take a lot of hard work to maintain happiness for both parties, and that hard work means trust, love, compromise, etc.

Unless it's a secret surprise or something, your significant other should not be kept out of your loop, meaning you should not have any secrets kept from your partner. Of coarse most people have a stupid dark secret or two that they keep to themselves, but for the most part- don't deceive your partner by keeping secrets. That's not real. Your fooling your partner, and when they find out, which they will- it won't be too good and your partner will find it hard to ever trust you again afterwards. Remember, nothing stays hidden forever, secrets always come out in in the end, one way or another.

Don't keep your problems to yourself!

If you find that you have a problem with your partner, you should try to resolve the problem as peacefully and as soon as possible. The more you hide or avoid the issue from your partner, the more the issue is going to come out but in different forms of expression. Repressing your feelings only makes them come out stronger and crazier--and in the most irrelevant situations. You don't want this to happen. It will ruin your relationship, or just cause silly problems that could have just been avoided in the first place by acknowledging the issue. And then this may also lead to mistrust in the relationship. If you trust your partner you should try talking to your partner whenever you find that you have any issues with them. If you don't do this, your partner may feel you are holding back and hiding feelings from them and this may cause your partner to have trust issues with you. If you love your partner and want it to work, both of you should want to resolve your problems as soon as you can. Relationships involve work. If you don't work at them, they will not last. So talk it out as soon as you can!

Follow my advice and it's possible that you'll be with the love of your life 'till you grow old!  Awww how cute!
Follow my advice and it's possible that you'll be with the love of your life 'till you grow old! Awww how cute! | Source

Listen and be UNDERSTANDING

I find that a big problem in a lot of relationships is that 1 or even both parties don't actually listen to each other. They talk over each other or may think they are right and the other is wrong. That is the wrong thing to do, it is important to listen to each other and understand each other. If you don't listen to your partner, they may find it hard to express their feelings to you the next time around, which means they may find it hard to TRUST you!! Forget about who's right and who's wrong, set that aside and work at resolving your issues, not figuring out who's right or wrong. Sometimes we all mess up, WE ARE PEOPLE, it happens but working out your problems TOGETHER is the important thing to do in the end. Forgive and learn how to move forward. Relationships are hard, and if you don't work together, by completely trusting one another and trying to understand one another than your relationship will not get that far, it will just be a disaster.

And don't forget to show your partner affection!  It's important to keep the romance alive, don't let it die!  Show each other you love each other often, believe me, you can't go wrong and you'll both stay happy this way :)
And don't forget to show your partner affection! It's important to keep the romance alive, don't let it die! Show each other you love each other often, believe me, you can't go wrong and you'll both stay happy this way :) | Source

Let your partner be...

When in a relationship, most people get jealous, they don't want their partner to go out without them. BUT, if you do trust your partner, you must let them be. You don't have to be stuck like glue to your partner, unless you both want to be. Let each other have space. Let each other live happily, without jealousy, or control. You both love each other and want to be with each other. This means love, trust, honesty and commitment. If you don't trust your partner alone without you, then you shouldn't be with them at all. Sorry. Both of you have to work at trusting each other because that is true love, and I believe if you don't trust your partner then why keep wasting your time? Move on and find someone you can just let be and still be happy and you must be able to trust them without worrying all the time. Once you start showing your partner signs that they cannot trust you, things will start to crumble. You will be fighting constantly, you will be distant, you will be anxious and worried constantly and so much more negativity will come along with this. Be happy and trust the person that loves you, unless you have reason not to, then you should evaluate your circumstances and figure them out before you get crazy! Trust is what makes your relationship, and once it's gone, it's what will break your relationship!

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    • EuroNinila profile image
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      Fotinoula Gypsyy 3 years ago from NYC BABY

      Thank you Billy!!!And that is one of my favorite couples too :D

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      you have my favorite Hollywood couple at the top of this. :)

      Trust...how can a relationship exist without it? You covered it all perfectly. Well done.

    • EuroNinila profile image
      Author

      Fotinoula Gypsyy 4 years ago from NYC BABY

      Thank you, you are absolutely right on that!

    • profile image

      Liam 4 years ago

      Good article, but some aspects are missing,. The definition of the noun trust is "Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something". This articles mainly addresses truth in a relationship, but belief in the reliability, ability and strength of your partner are also important. For example if you do not believe your partner has the ability to listen to your problems without filtering what they hear thru their own emotional baggage then you may believe they will act on the info in any in appropriate way and therefore you may choose not to share your problems. This is a trust issue which has nothing to do with truth.

    • profile image

      summer 4 years ago

      I am researching the whole secret issue for my own relationship. Its been a rough year for us and things have really started taking a turn for the no good recently. My mind is very confussed about my boyfriend of two years because our intimate relationship has gotten so complicated and for myself very unfullfilling most the time. How can you be told excuse after excuse only to realize the problem is possibly porn/chat/cybering and how far does it go. Denial, lies and simply a lack of concern about my feelings are a big problem. How do i know how far this has gone and can it get better? The last year I've wondered what is wrong with me and much more, often expressing my feelings and lately crying myself to sleep because I am frustrated and lonely for what my life is lacking. I don't know what to do and last july we moved in togethet so now its very complicated. Any advice out there or personal experiences anyone can share?

    • EuroNinila profile image
      Author

      Fotinoula Gypsyy 4 years ago from NYC BABY

      Exactly right drmiddlebrook, thanks for reading and commenting!!

    • drmiddlebrook profile image

      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 4 years ago from Texas, USA

      Great article EuroNinila. I'm a new follower, and the topic of trust is one of my favorites. The most important thing a lot of couples seem to skip right over these days is that trust is earned. If you rush into a romantic relationship before you really know the other person, then there's no way you can know if you can trust them. I think that might be why some people want to be joined at the hip with their partner, because the trust hasn't been earned, so it's simply not there. Enjoyed reading!

    • EuroNinila profile image
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      Fotinoula Gypsyy 5 years ago from NYC BABY

      @Nyamache, trust can stem from many problems. The person not trusting the other could be the one who has trust issues as well without the other giving them any reason to. Sometimes it can be the way a person is from past experiences. This is why relationships can be so complicated because everyone is so different, you can never guess the way a person thinks. Thanks for your comment!

    • Nyamache profile image

      Joshua Nyamache 5 years ago from Kenya

      The problem with most relationships is that one partner trusts while the other doesn’t. There are couples who want their relationship to be healthy yet they their actions ruin their trust. They do things that make their partners not to trust them. Our actions determine if we are to be trusted or not. Without trust between partners, then the relationship is not healthy.

    • EuroNinila profile image
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      Fotinoula Gypsyy 5 years ago from NYC BABY

      Thank you for the complement alancaster149, you are far too nice!

    • alancaster149 profile image

      Alan R Lancaster 5 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

      Sound advice. How does such an old head fit on those young shoulders? You're meting out wisdom here that would surprise anyone, but keep it up. It's a tonic.

    • EuroNinila profile image
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      Fotinoula Gypsyy 5 years ago from NYC BABY

      Thank you love doctor, you seem to know best so that is awesome to hear from you! Thanks for the read and vote up :)

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 5 years ago

      These are very good words of wisdom. Voted up!

    • EuroNinila profile image
      Author

      Fotinoula Gypsyy 5 years ago from NYC BABY

      Thanks Vinaya, hope it works out for you!! :)

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      You speak like a pro.

      I'll try to implement your advice.

    • editorsupremo profile image

      editorsupremo 5 years ago from London, England

      A great and well written hub. For a relationship to be good and last there has to be trust. If you do not trust then there is no point continuing the relationship because you will only get bogged down and your insecurities will surface.

      I agree that you should not keep secrets hidden from your partner because they always come back to haunt you. Although it can be a bit daunting when revealing some dark, deep secrets because you don't want your partner to change his/her mind about you.

      Voted up and shared

    • EuroNinila profile image
      Author

      Fotinoula Gypsyy 5 years ago from NYC BABY

      Yes, lord de cross relationships are complicated, thanks for your comment! :)

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

      Well written coming from a young woman. The problem of turst is so deep that is considered idiosyncratic. If a BF doesn't get jelous, then H e doesn't love her enough. If he doesn't show his masculinity, then they will think, he is heading into the other team. Trust can be achieved only when society focus in making better person. This is not happening at all. unless the guy is heading into priesthood, they say. Thanks Euro!

    • EuroNinila profile image
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      Fotinoula Gypsyy 5 years ago from NYC BABY

      Exactly! In healthy relationships you have to give and receive, it takes work and people forget that! Thanks for reading and commenting KatrineDM !!

    • profile image

      KatrineDM 5 years ago

      Love, care, understanding and mutual trust are the main ingredients for a happy and healthy relationship.

      Trust, once lost, can take a lifetime to build again.

      Great article, thanks for sharing.

    • EuroNinila profile image
      Author

      Fotinoula Gypsyy 5 years ago from NYC BABY

      Yea, jpcmc, I think if couples actually took the time to understand each other rather than go back and forth fighting and focusing on why each is right/wrong, there would be less divorce rates! Thank you for reading!

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      Many miscommunication and misinterpretation is because of failure to listen. We have a tendency to LOCK ONl on to info that only support our cause while we LOCK OUT information that we think is not for us. This LO/LO can ruin relationships. But when used properly it can actually help people understand better.

    • EuroNinila profile image
      Author

      Fotinoula Gypsyy 5 years ago from NYC BABY

      @fpherj48 thanks for your lovely comment, and thanks for swinging by my hubs. :)!! You are right, we are the ones that get crazy and make life and love, which are pretty simple, complicated.

      @shiningirisheyes, yes your right, this advice can be applicable to many different types of relationships, thanks for reading!

      @kashmir, thank you for the vote up!! :D

    • kashmir56 profile image

      Thomas Silvia 5 years ago from Massachusetts

      All great advice within this well written hub,great for all types of relationships !

      Vote up and more !!!

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 5 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Great advice and insight for all relationships - family, romantic, work, friend.

      Great write

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Wonderful and very thoughtful hub. I am in full agreement with your rationale. The words "mistrust" and "relationship" do not belong together......they are total opposites....

      Life and love are really quite simple. We are the ones who get it all weighted dow with unnecessary obstacles.

      I enjoy your hubs. You're an excellent writer. Keep clicking away! UP++