- Gender and Relationships
Trust and Friendship
When trust is broken in a friendship
We all need friends.They help us make life worth living.They nurture,support,love,listen,and share life with us.Friendships are work to maintain they do not just happen or continue on there own.A friend shows empathy,sympathy and understanding.Friends are honest.Friends show real concern and allow you to share your thoughts and feelings without judging you.All of these attributes led to a bond and led to trust.
Trust is a foundation which friendship is built on.Trust takes time and is something each of us has to earn.Honesty and trust go hand in hand.
When trust is broken a friendship is in need of repair.Broken trust is one ,if not the most often reason friendships come to an end.This is not always the case but it takes work by both parties to build the friendship back to where it was before the trust was broken.
Here are some basics to regaining trust in a relationship.
Admit your mistake and the fact that you hurt the other person.
This can be difficult but the issue(s) must be faced.Whatever the issue was weather it was lying,breaking a promise,mistreating the person it does not matter what it was.You have to acknowledge your mistake and ask for forgiveness.This is the only way the relationship can continue.This is a very important part of regaining trust.
This can sometimes hurt.But honesty is a must to regain trust.Sharing information so the other person knows the truth.Do not withhold information that is due to the other person.Betrayal of trust is often caused by lack of communication,misunderstanding,lying,and withholding and cover up stories.Be straightforward and honest even when it hurts to do so.Honesty and trust go hand in hand.Even if being honest has caused the end of the friendship,at least you will know you have done the right thing and will not carry the guilt which comes from lying.
Talk about the issue to come to a mutual understanding.
This does not mean winner- loser,but should be based on win- win.This does not even mean one is right and the other is wrong.You can agree to disagree,as long as there is understanding between the two.Talk,talk .and talk.Open honest communication,understanding the others point of view,acknowledge any misunderstanding,and make agreements to change if that is a must.
reassure the person you let down
Know that you have to prove you are trustworthy again.Reassure the person.Keep promises.Know that regaining trust is going to take time.Keep reassuring as often as you can.
validate the pain you have caused the other person.Agree with and show the person that their pain is justified.Empathy for the person will help them to regain the trust.Sometimes this may include you making some changes or actually changing as a person.Showing real concern for the others welfare goes a long way in regaining trust.
regaining trust will take time.So be patient.Continue doing steps above when they apply.You have to let that person know you respect them and honor them.They lost that when you let them down.It will take time for the person to have faith in you again so be patient.
I hope you can apply these principles if you ever let your friend down.Remember that the goal here is to heal a friendship and that in the long run it is going to build your character.Doing what is right always builds character,and sometimes doing what is right can be painful.Even if the friendship ends you will know you did what you could.