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Ultimate Deal Breakers: Would You Break Up Over This?
Thanks for visiting my hub on relationship dealbreakers. Hopefully you will find it entertaining, as well as food for thought concerning the things that you personally consider to be dealbreakers.
(Check back often, as I will regularly add new dealbreaker scenarios.)
What's a Dealbreaker?
In the context of dating, most of us know what dealbreakers are: traits, characteristics, habits, etc. that we find repugnant, deplorable, irksome or obnoxious in a potential mate. In short, it's something about the other person that makes you willing to wash your hands of the entire relationship. By way of example, potential dealbreakers might be:
- He yells at the screen at the movies;
- She picks her nose in public;
- He's a messy eater;
Thus, this lens will present various scenarios that will ask you, the reader, to determine whether or not it's a dealbreaker. Enjoy!
The Cat: Dealbreaker or Not?
Jack and Molly met through mutual friends and hit it off right away. Jack liked that Molly was quick-witted and personable; she liked the fact that he was thoughtful and considerate. After about a month of dating, they decided to spend an entire day together hiking. Jack volunteered to bring lunch, and since their day would involve an early morning drive Molly volunteered to make breakfast.
On the day in question, Jack arrived bright and early at Molly's door and was greeted with a kiss. He accompanied Molly to the kitchen, where she informed him that they would be having her world-famous pancakes for breakfast - made from scratch! While they talk, Molly goes about making the pancakes: mixing flour, milk, etc. As she's mixing the batter, her cat comes into the kitchen - a sleek gray tom named Prancer who can usually be found sunning himself on the hood of Molly's car or chasing small pests in the garage.
The cat hops onto the kitchen counter and gives a loud meow. Molly - in the midst of mixing the batter and talking to Jack about how much fun they're going to have - turns and holds out the mixing spoon. Prancer promptly begins licking the batter off the spoon and has it clean in just a few seconds. Molly puts it right back into the batter and begins mixing again without missing a beat, but not before scratching Prancer behind the ears.
Jack is a little bit in shock. He's not a germ-a-phobe, but he has certain standards regarding hygiene - particularly where animals are concerned. Basically, he's never in his life thought about eating after one. (Plus, he just saw Prancer with a dead rat or mouse in his mouth just a few nights earlier when he and Molly left for a date. Didn't rats help spread bubonic plague?) Moreover, Molly not only reinserted the cat-licked spoon into the batter, she also failed to wash her hands after scratching Prancer behind the ears! Jack now sees Molly in an entirely different light.
Is this a dealbreaker? Express your opinion in the poll below.
Poll regarding The Cat: Dealbreaker or Not?
Is it a dealbreaker if the other person lets their pet lick food off of utensils they are cooking with, and then continue using the item without washing it?
"READING THIS SHIRT MORE THAN ONCE IS A DEALBREAKER."
The Restraining Order(s): Dealbreaker?
Katie was a little suspicious when her co-worker, Susan, wanted to fix her up with Susan's cousin Rich. Reluctantly, Katie agreed to meet him for coffee - nothing more - at a local coffee shop. Surprisingly, Katie and Rich had a lot in common and really enjoyed getting to know each other. Shortly thereafter, they started going out.
Katie and Rich get along famously, and about a month into the relationship they decide to have coffee again at the shop where they had their first "date." They're having their coffee and scones, and everything is going great until Rich's entire demeanor changes. Where he was all smiles and good humor before, he's now sullen and withdrawn. Moreover, he keeps looking to a corner of the shop where a perky blonde is sitting...glaring and giving them the stink eye. Suddenly the blonde comes over and tells Rich he has to leave; that he's not supposed to be within 500 feet of her, and if he doesn't leave she's calling the cops.
You and Rich make a hasty exit, after which he responds to your queries by saying that she is an ex-girlfriend who took out a restraining order against him. He won't give out any more detail than that, so the next time you see his cousin Susan in the office you corner her and - after telling her about th eepisode at the coffee shop - ask her about the restraining order.
"Was it this mousy little redhead?" Susan asks. "Because she just did that to get him in trouble. He never did anything to her."
"No," Katie replies. "This was a blonde."
"Oh. That must be one of the other ones..."
Long story short, it turns out that several of Rich's ex-girfriends have felt the need to get restraining orders against him. (Susan won't - or possibly can't - say exactly how many, but there are at least two.) Needless to say, Katie is a little shaken. She hasn't seen a side of Rich that would require a protective order, but her feelings of feminine solidarity make her think that Rich's exes should be given the benefit of the doubt.
Dealbreaker? Decide in the poll below.
Poll on The Restraining Order(s): Dealbreaker?
Is it a dealbreaker if a man's ex has a restraining order taken out against him?
A Close Shave: Dealbreaker?
Rob and Arlene have been going out for about two months. They are taking their time and really getting to know one another, which they both feel is a nice change of pace.
They decide to spend a day at the beach together. When Rob arrives to pick her up, Arlene - already in her bikini - states that she is almost ready; she just needs to shave. Arlene has gorgeous, runway-model legs, so Rob jokingly asks if he can watch. Arlene gives him an odd look, and Rob wonders if he has crossed some line from which there is no coming back. After a few seconds of awkward silence, she says "Sure" and Rob lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
He accompanies her to the bathroom, where he sits on the edge of the bathtub while Arlene stands in front of the mirror and puts some shaving gel in her hands. But then, to Rob's startled surprise, rather than putting it on her legs she puts the shaving gel on her face. Rob then bursts out laughing, thinking Arlene has a great sense of humor. She cuts her eyes at him in the mirror, then takes a disposable razor and begins shaving herself with an ease that only comes from experience.
Rob, still thinking (and praying) this might be a joke, says, "Uh...you know, shaving like that for a joke might backfire, because the hair tends to grow back in thicker."
"Yeah, tell me about it," Arlene replies without stopping or taking her eyes off the mirror.
After a small, uncomfortable silence, Rob asks, "So...you, uh, you always shave like that?"
"Twice a day, morning and night. Otherwise I look like I'm applying for a bearded lady position with Ringling Brothers."
Rob frowns, He himself only has to shave once every other day. Arlene finishes up, and uses a nearby towel to wipe the remaining shaving gel off of her face. She then turns to him.
"You were bound to find out sooner or later, so now was as good a time as any. So, does this make a difference?
Rob scoffs and shrugs. "No. Why would it?"
She smiles at that, and he comes to her and gives her a little kiss on the cheek. However, as he steps back, he can almost swear that he felt some stubble on her cheek, and he suddenly thinks that it may indeed matter. Is this a dealbreaker?