- Gender and Relationships»
Umbrella of Marriage
Friendship is the umbrella which shades every relationship/marriage. This topic has to do more with marriage than any other form of relationship though those of us in courtship will benefit from it. As far as i am concerned, not every spouse can boast of his or her significant partner being his or her best friend. My point right now is that even if you fail to arrive at that, there should at least be an establishment of friendship in your marriage.
Chike and Nancy
Chike met Nancy when both of them were working at Blue Bird Primary school, he was the school's watchman while she was teaching the class of primary five. They later married each other after few years of courtship, they shared everything and never hid nothing from each other then one day, Chike's cousin visited from USA and they accommodated him then one day, while Chike was away, his cousin tried to seduce Nancy. She agreed to everything he said but told him that they cannot do anything in her matrimonial home so they set the next day to go to a hotel and have their share of each other.
Chike was out to attend his kinsmen meeting when the duos left for the hotel, but just two meetings of entering the room his cousin by name Jonathan booked and paid for, Chike emerged from nowhere. It was a total shock for Jonathan because right there, he understood that Chike was already waiting for their arrival at the hotel. It was a clear case of Friendship because Nancy told Chike everything his cousin was planning so to catch him red handed, they agreed that she played along.
People marry each other nowadays for so many reasons and most of all are for material benefit. I have discussed this with so many people and below are few of what some responded.
- I will not marry a girl from a poor background because all her family problem will rest on my shoulder
- I will not marry a man who is not educated
- I will not marry a man who is not rich, he must have a car, his own house and can also afford a car for me
- I will not marry a man who is already married because i cannot settle for number two
The fact is not that we should not have preference in choosing who we marry but the thing here is the establishment of good and cordial friendship with whoever you marry, your spouse in every sense is suppose to be your soul mate, your all source of pain and pleasure
Why is Friendship important in Marriage?
Well think about all the friends you have. Why are you friends? You will agree with me that you are friends because you share something in common and enjoy being in the company of each other. This is also the reason why friendship is important in every marriage, this friendship between couples is not romantic or intimacy. No, not at all, the friendship a husband and wife share is that special thing that enables them to connect deeply with each other, it is the hallmark of their marriage.
You might feel that because you dated each other for years and was best of best before tying the knot that you are best friends, well you might be right but believe me, friendship in marriage don't just happen, it takes effort, time, and dedication to make it count and every married couple reading this will agree with me. Spending time with your spouse is just one good avenue of developing the kind of friendship needed in a marriage.
There are two kinds of people to totally avoid in your marriage and i will give you reasons why you should not allow Ingrate and Hypocrites into your marriage.
Ingrates are those set of people with very low IQ and posses the highest ability you can ever think of to freak and piss you off. Then Hypocrites, this kind of people are just like Jonathan, they have the ability to make you believe that they care for you, in your presence, they praise you and call you stuffs like, 'The BEST', 'LUCKY MAN', 'WONDERFUL WIFE' but at your back. O! God have mercy.
Once you are able to avoid third party into your relationship/marriage and can solve any difference with your spouse no matter how grieve it is, you will find out that you are building a great friendship, only a friend can look at a friend's face and tell him or her that he didn't do well in an area he didn't do well and that is the kind of thing a husband need from a wife. Respectful criticism, in return you will find out that, you posses a command in your husband's life because he is your best friend.
Finally, i wish to thank you for the time you took to read this and also wish to leave you with this one piece. Do not in any way blame your spouse for any forthcoming, always ensure that you work out any difference amicably and before you implore my service, make sure that you have asked for forgiveness even when you know that you are right because 'Had i known they say comes at last' and so is 'It is your fault that this happened'. You can stop it before it happen.
One other thing, you can order this free E-book to help you more. Let me know if you care for a free copy of Love Everyday.