Unabused....The greatest blessing.
I have never experienced such a sudden turn of events. Yet, the story behind it, was a long line of broken hopes and shattered dreams.
I grew up in a dysfunctional environment to say the least, and that dysfunction followed me into adulthood. I was unable to really have a stable healthy relationship, and had practically no romantic relationships. There were plenty of men that would say whatever you wanted to hear, to get what they wanted, but there was no prince charming, no knight in shining armor to save me.
Trust, was a very elusive creature in my life. I struggled with loneliness and fears. I hid from relationships. I found Jesus, and was baptized in His spirit, which proved to be the first real love story in my life. And what a story it was. It was a difficult road, but finally, I came to trust Jesus.
Then, a man appeared, almost like he had always been there. We connected immediately, and I am more comfortable with him, than I have ever been with anyone, and I've only known him a short time. Suddenly I laugh again, I laugh until my stomach hurts and there are tears in my eyes. I have motivation that has eluded me for so long. I have always listened to music, but I appreciate it more. He wants to do things for me, He takes care of me. While it is amazing and beautiful, and something I have prayed for, it's a big step for me, and a hard one.
I have spent so many years taking care of myself, that I experience fear and uncertainty when someone else wants to take care of me. He does it in the sweetest most unexpected ways.
In a generation where men expect a kiss on the first date,
This man asked if he could hold my hand.
He is so different than what I have known.
Where my nightmares used to wake me up screaming, I have dreams of he and I holding hands and taking selfies.
Where I used to be afraid of what people would think, I find myself more secure in who I am, and in who I can be.
Instead of always helping everyone except myself, I am being helped, by someone who genuinely cares for me.
It is no doubt that this man was formed and specifically tailored by God himself, to have patience with me when I cry and hurt over something some other man did to me, and look at me in a way assuring me that he would never do that to me.
We have the same thoughts at the same time, we almost know what each other are thinking.
He is quirky and goofy and thinks way beyond outside of the box. He is unique. He is uniquely perfect for a unique me.
I feel as if he is taking all the years of abuse, and undoing it one layer at a time. He is making me,
I truly thank God for him.
My knight in shining armor, turns out to be what I've always prayed for,
Sensitive, funny, strong, handsome, and more than anything, He really loves Jesus, and me.