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Understanding Women Psychology

Updated on May 6, 2014

As a man who intends getting a woman, it is imperative that you understand women psychology.

Why, you ask? Of course, you need to do this because it is one of the biggest expectations a woman wants from you, even if she does not voice it out.

Most women, if only they will admit it to you, want a man who understands women—like they normally put it—a man who ‘gets’ women. And that man is nothing but a man who actually understands women psychology.

Now if you are a guy and you have been on this planet for close to two decades or more, you will agree with me that women, more often than not, appear to be so complex and confusing, which means that it’s almost an impossible task to respond favorably to any of the so many antics she may just spring against you.

But trust me, you can actually make a breakthrough on this, but first, you have to understand this thing called the women psychology.

In this piece, I am going to point out to you some of those peculiarities with women and some not so obvious things women want from a man which will go a long way in helping her reach a quicker decision of accepting you and also help you to avoid certain pitfalls so as to have a smooth sailing relationship with her.

My hope in doing this is to help you as a man who intends to go after women either for a fling or for a serious relationship so that you will, at least, have an idea of what you might be up against as you want to get her so as to know how to handle things maturely should problems start coming up because you can easily discern where she is coming from.

Yes, women can be a challenge and your best bet to overcome this challenge is to always have an idea of what might be coming up and how to act or react as situation demands.

So are you ready? Okay, let’s begin…

Women are self-centered
I know…I know…I know but this is an irrefutable truth. It is in a woman’s nature to be like that. Most women are more interested in themselves than in any other thing.

I bet you will be surprised to find out the number of women who are like this. She might even try to hide it from you (at first), but if you look closely, it is still there so take note! Anyway, most people are like that by the way.

But truth is, most women you see are the Me-first kind of person. She comes first. She is the most important thing in the world. She wants you to accept this and the earlier you do this the better it is going to be for all involved.

You are the man so man up and stop complaining. She expects you to know that it is your duty to make, no, keep her happy and take her out to some nice places where she could catch some fun, always.

And the more frequent you can do this, the more she will come to love and respect you.

You are to see to it that she looks absolutely wonderful. I cannot recount the number of times I have overheard different girls saying that it is the duty of a man to 'maintain' the girl so that she will look nice for him.

And I am like what the f..k? Look nice for me my foot! But what actually scares me is that from the way they voice such opinion out vociferously, you will know that they really mean it! No jokes.

You are to pamper her, spoon-feed her, open doors etc. Why are you looking at me like that? Didn’t your mother tell you that’s exactly how to be a gentleman? Don’t you want to be called a caring man?

Women like to insist

For some reason I know I will never find out, women like to have the last word. Because they like to insist, that means they like to win the argument. It’s either her way or no way at all!

They so much like it when you accept this or should I say, give them this chance as doing otherwise could signal a lot of negative things about you.

Bros, trust me, you don’t wanna go there! She can give you hell if you try to oppose. She makes the rules…all the rules, and you follow!

She is right when she is wrong. And she is right when she is right. Because she is always right. Well, you might be allowed to correct her once in a while but don’t make the mistake of rubbing it in her face when you do because she will never forgive you i.e. if she can even forget it in the first place.

Women think they are doing you a great favor when they have sex with you

This is one of the strangest things with women. You don’t mention anything about getting her own pleasure in the act too. Don't even go there! All that matters is that you should be grateful, and I mean, very very grateful -and satisfied too, that she allowed you access into her body.

That is why a woman is ready to equate sex as the best, if not the only reward to anything and everything you can possibly do for her. The prostitutes took it further by putting a charge on themselves for this same ‘service’.

Well, you cannot blame women entirely for having such a disposition because men actually laid that foundation with their incessant demand for sex which eventually made women to realize the place of sex and the influence of price on the demand and supply curve.

Nature also structured it in a way that a man can easily reach climax i.e. satisfaction in any sexual activity, quite unlike women, so in a way, she is actually doing you a satisfactory favor, who knows, maybe?

Her beauty is the most important thing to her
Oh yes. Deny this at your own peril. No woman jokes with her beauty. She is ready to go all the whole hog to look very pretty. This is her primary assignment. She feels she has to do this to beat out competition from other women.

And that’s where you, as a guy, come in.

It is your duty to tell her how beautiful she looks. It doesn't actually matter if you are lying. In fact, this is one area where a woman might even prefer you pretend along as long as you are ready to say what she wants to hear.

She needs you to convince her that she is the prettiest woman on earth. She will appreciate it so much from you because women like to be validated.

So get ready. Prepare to shower her with so many compliments on her beauty and great sense of fashion.

Luckily for guys, it is not like doing this is so difficult.

Women have group mentality
It is easier to influence a group of women than to influence a single girl. This is because women have what I call a group mentality and they are easily influenced by other women.

Women like to gossip and in their gossips they exchange or pass off vital information that help them in making or reaching certain decisions—concerning men, mainly.

No woman wants to be seen as an outcast. No woman wants to be seen as an odd person. No woman wants to be jeered or laughed at because she does not ‘belong’.

The group is very important and the art of fitting in to be like the rest of the other women is actually a very much learnt act.

So as a guy, it is imperative that you watch the type of things you disclose to a woman because those things you said to her will be judged and evaluated and reasons and counter reasons will be suggested and provided to her when she takes your issue to the feminine court to be thrashed completely.

It is her right to criticize, to choose and to reject
And it is your right, no, your obligation to be patient or agree with her. She can throw her tantrums. She can nag. She can call you an irresponsible good-for-nothing slob and you are expected to accept all that, or better still, keep quiet, without lifting as much as a finger at her, after all she’s a woman and it is her right to do those things.

Besides, you don’t want to be tagged a wife-beater, batterer, or something of that nature. Rather, you want to be tagged a matured man!


She expects you to be the one to approach her first so that she can have the full pleasure of assessing you, before choosing or rejecting you as the case might be. Again, it is her right so don’t complain.

She can tell you everything she hates about you, your lifestyle, your habits, your family, your job. She can choose your friends for you. She can tell you what is best for you. She knows when she wants to have sex with you and she expects you to know it is NEVER going to be anytime you want it but rather it is anytime she wants it.


Are you really asking me this? I can’t believe it. Of course, unless you have a vagina, why don’t you just shut up and agree with her after all it is her right—and she MUST exercise it to the fullest!

Ladies be like:I'm in charge...take it or leave it!
Ladies be like:I'm in charge...take it or leave it! | Source

Women are very sensitive
And one wrong word from you could ruin everything for you. Hinting on her insecurity will also do the same for you because she will like to bust your ego as a way to fight back.

Oh yes, women are very insecure. She might try to hide it behind all that prideful display but the fact is that women are always living their lives in comparison with another person, most likely, another woman who could be her friend, her sister, her colleague at the office, her neighbor, or even her mom, etc.

With women, it is always as if there is always that opportunity to compete. The day I actually started to believe less that women actually dress up to look good for their men was the day I read in some blog that some women dress up to look better than the other woman.

So in your entire life and in all your dealing with a woman, please for the interest of peace and for your own peace of mind, please, never you do or say something that will trigger her insecurities or attack her self-esteem because when if you do, trust me, you don’t want to go there! Telling her that she’s ugly, or useless, or fat, or dull, or old, even if she is, is highly NOT advised.

Women do not forget such things easily.

This same sensitivity issue of women could also easily explain why women tend to readily express jealousy easily.

Mind how you open your mouth and passing off some comments about her or other women in general in her presence. Never you sound too undermining, maybe because you just want to let her know that she’s the best. You may not know it but she is thinking of how you will eventually say the same thing about her in her absence, and oh man, that’s not good.

So when you praise her, in her mind she is comparing herself to be better than the next woman or women. The same thing happens when you condemn her.

So please, always watch out for these sort of things so that you don’t get to experience her dark side which can easily be roused into action immediately you touch her sensitivity button.

Shopping is a must
Don’t ask me why because I don’t know. Women shop for things they need. And they shop for things they don’t need. Women shop when they are happy. And they shop when they are sad.

It’s like an incurable addiction. There is always this need to shop for something and acquire more material things. It doesn’t matter how many of such articles she already has. More is always better.

Don’t interfere with this feminine natural process for the interest of peace. Better still, don’t complain. She will like it that way because you do understand.

Clap for yourself!

Well, since not all women are like this, she might not exhibit this attitude at all. She might even be able to cope if the resources to go on such splurges are not there but don’t you ever neglect that fact that with women, there is always that propensity, that potential impulsiveness to go on shopping.

Women don’t see that far into the future
Yes, women can be so fickle. One moment she is with you. The next moment she is thinking of another thing leaving you wondering what caused the sudden turnaround.

Women don’t strategize that much. They are more interested in what is going on now - the present, more like tacticians, because they can easily change their minds.

It doesn't matter how many goals you have. Don't expect her to believe you have all those lofty goals. She needs to be convinced that you are what you said you are. So if you want her to stay, your best bet is to get serious into turning those lofty goals into a reality.

Ever wondered why it seems some women are not so interested in what goes on in your life, I mean your job, your career, your goals, how you make the money, how you survive? Well, I believe you can now see the reason why.

Certain behaviors of women towards you will give you the notion that you don’t even exist but even if you do, you only exist solely to provide her with steady fun, pleasure and satisfaction. It could be argued that it is for this same reason that women tend to flock around stars and made men because these guys can easily provide those things.

These guys are already made. No need to project into the future with them! With them, the fun starts now!

It is all about commitment...
It is all about commitment... | Source

Women pretend a lot
Pretense is her second nature. If you expect a woman to always come out with the truth and be real with you all the time, or tell you what she really thinks, or say her mind, then you might as well start expecting the Pope to start using the word fcuk.

Because that ain't gonna happen.

This is one reason why I advise guys to always watch a woman's body language rather than what she says because body language is more exact and it reveals more than she can try to hide.

Enough said.

A woman wants you be to committed to her
Forget whatever you think about going into a relationship with her because you guys want to try things out first to see how compatible you guys might be. Before a woman will even reach this stage in your relationship, chances are she has already planned all the way on how to be your woman.

Which is why women get hurt the most when the relationship ends and you dump her because it’s like you are destroying her well laid plans, most especially when she really feels something deep for you.

Most guys have this mentality that all relationships should NOT be consummated by marriage. It is actually the opposite when it comes to women. She wants you to commit. She wants you to commit to her. She wants to be your last girl—the girl that took, no, shot you down!

A woman wants to change you
That’s the whole point. A woman, once she’s interested in you, sees you as her project. She is ready to work on you and put in a lot of effort just to make you become the type of man she really wants—not minding that she may not have a clear idea of that type of man.

But at least, one thing is clear about that type of man. Bottom line: he will be a man who likes the things she likes!

And the only way to make you like the things she likes is by changing you—to her taste, of course! I hope that made a lot of sense to you and you can now see the logic behind the things she does or says to you or about you at times?

So guys, there you have it. Those of some of the high points of the women psychology which I expect you to know or be aware of even as you make your own plans to bring her into your life.

It doesn’t hurt if you know these things rather it will help you to understand why women seem to be so exasperating and at times completely incomprehensible or does certain crazy and inexplicable things that can only leave you baffled.

It is not her fault actually. She is just reacting to her internal program. Yes, just the same way you react whenever you see another girl and your first thought is how to have her, not minding that your own girl is right there seated or standing beside you but yet you expect her to understand.

Well, I guess, that’s just by the way.

Anyway, by now you will agree with me that I could have titled this article The Problem with Women but I decided against it because that might discourage you from progressing in your ultimate goal of life which is bringing a woman into your life. Besides, and I repeat, not all women are like this! That’s a true fact and you have to believe me.

But then…

You have to understand that so many women are like this and it takes a man who can actually endure and overlook certain things to survive and have a very straight forward stress-free relationship with a woman.

When you hear a woman say she wants a real man, don’t sweat it. Read my lips, what she really wants is a man who can stand her shite without bowing down to pressure, shattering to pieces or completely fall apart.

So if you are ready to be that kind of man, I am just giving you the heads up. Consider these tips as me trying to prepare you for what lies ahead.

You don’t have to run from it. It is a challenge you have to bear, endure and win. One thing you may not know or even suspect, women are testing you all the time. And most of those characters and attitude she exhibits are nothing but tests to know if you are really a man! Yes, to know if you are a real man!

In fact, you have every reason to go through this challenge because she will (come to) love you so much if you can prove it to her that you are a real man.

You are a real man if you are a man who doesn't bend to every woman’s wish, whims and caprices. Of course, a real man is nobody's fool! A real man is a man who is not easily put off by a woman’s rants or unwholesome attitude. He is that type of man who still does what he wants with no fear simply because he is not a wimp. He is that man who knows when to succumb and be soft and when to be tough!

He is a man who sends this undertone message that although he can commit to a woman in a long-term relationship, but then he can leave at anytime when he can’t stand it any longer. A man who can actually lead and calls the shots. He is that man who is not afraid of women and a hard man who can easily attract other women. Women like him because he is not going to be too easy.

He is that man who knows how to put women in their rightful place. A man who can call her out on any of her nonsense.

And that, my friend, is the type of man I want you to become once you understand the female psychology.

Emmy Boy.


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    • Emmyboy profile imageAUTHOR


      4 years ago from Nigeria

      You are welcome Hackslap. Just be very patient and very observant with them. One day you will surely understand them.

      Thanks for reading.

    • Hackslap profile image


      4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      This is an amazing hub mate! .. I've been trying to understand the female psych for the past 2 years and they just seem to amaze me more and more...things which us blokes would find 'easy to figure out' and 'logical'..women just don't seem to get it!

      I also experienced dealing with a woman ..a friend... who once said she was head over heels over me and suddenly flipped 180 degrees to say she feels nothing for me and is in love with someone else... and now the issue is I can't change the way I feel about her even though I respect that she's with someone else ...

      they're strange creatures indeed...


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