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Understanding gender differences in a relationship

Updated on April 4, 2011

difference between men and women

Let's face it; there is a difference between men and women. Men are natural doers. If you are in a relationship with a man that doesn't do much talking, pay attention to what he does. Studies have been done that prove a woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000.What does this tell you? There is allot of "did you hear me" going on in households worldwide. It should also tell you, if you are a woman, that men communicate things to you by "doing." He will take the trash out, clean the car, or take you out to eat, to show you affection. You can use this to your advantage, by speaking his language with him. Go ahead, and watch that show with him, give him a big hug after he has done something nice. You can actually strengthen your bond. You can ask that he do something for you as well, something small, like open a jar. Believe it or not, by doing more with him, you are increasing that bond you two have by using his language.

speak her language

Men, if you are in a relationship with a woman that you don't understand, try speaking her language. As you were reading about the differences in languages, try your best to listen, and give feedback. Women are verbal communicators. I understand this type of affection may seem frustrating to you, but try it. Try talking to her, asking her advice on different topics, and giving her a few compliments. If you are wondering where this would go, the answer is that it will help strengthen the bond in your relationship.

get her talking

There are many differences between men and women. If you understand these differences, you will be able to better communicate with the opposite sex.

Men, here is a list of things you can do to better communicate with the opposite sex:

Your verbal communication should be up to par. Ask her for advice, and get her talking. She will feel good, just like you would whenever you help a woman with something physical.

Have conversations about her childhood, talk to her about her favorite movie. Do what it takes to get conversation flowing better.

If you are not great with communication, just make enough conversation to get her started, learn to listen attentively, add your comments, and she will take care of the rest.

Understand that talking to a female is one of the biggest factors in her bonding with you. Through conversations, she feels much closer to you.

When you do this, you are making the gap of communication smaller, thus creating a bigger bond.

speak his language

Women here are things you can do to speak his language:

Find out what he is into, and do it with him. If he is into sports, learn to like them, and go to a game with him.

If he is into art, ask him to paint you something.

Whatever he is into, find out what it is, and have him do it for you.

Do small things for him.

Get creative and leave little love notes in his wallet to surprise him.

Plan a nice little picnic outside, if he likes the outdoors.

Do what you can while speaking his language, and increase the bond you have together.



What is listed is simple. If you take action, through words, or through verbal communication, you are making a bond for each other. There is no bond better with the opposite sex, than speaking each other’s language. Think about it.


Let’s say there was a woman from China, that only spoke Chinese, and a man from Germany, that only spoke German get together and get married. How do you think the relationship would go between the couple that did not speak each other’s language? Chances are, the couple would slowly start feeling miserable. If you do not want to be that couple, learn to speak the language of the opposite sex, and increase your bond.

example for men

An example for men: Since a woman is a verbal creature if you say bad things to her, or not say much to her at all, it can affect the bond she has with you. You may not understand the impact words can actually have, since you are a doer. Think about her doing something bad towards you. Her doing something bad towards you should have the same impact as you saying something bad to her. You may be able to roll words off your shoulder like nothing, but she will have a harder time with this.

An example for women

An example for women: Since a man is a doer, if you do bad things towards him, or not do much with him, this will have an impact on his bond with you. You may not have any clue as to how an action can affect a man, since you are more of a verbal creature. Think about how you would feel if a man does not talk to you much, or says mean things. Him talking negative towards you should have the same impact as you not doing much with him.

When you speak the language of the opposite sex, you are increasing your bond considerably.


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