Understanding the Male Attitude towards Divorce
Why Bother?
A marriage breaks down. The parties separate. Unless it is due to the desire of the man to marry another woman, he has no real intention of going through a divorce.
Why?
He's taken his stuff, his living his own life, he's comfortable. He doesn't want to get into a marriage again, considering his past experiences.
He is content to date, even shack up, but the legal bounds of a divorce where everything from the children to the furniture to the bank account is going to be arbitrated by an outside force is not appetizing.
He can attract women who need the feeling of superiority by being a husband they seduced. He can end relationships that bore him by admitting he's married.
In short, he's gotten the easy path to meaningless affairs and as well as a private life.
Why change that?
Let it Drift
In most cases, unless it is recent adultery on her side, most men don't care whether or not they have legally divorced the woman they no longer live with. To them, simply moving out is enough..
It's their subsequent girlfriends who care about divorce.
When pressured, they may casually consult a lawyer so as to tell the girlfriend. Their delay in presenting documents, paying retainers, is clear evidence that they really don't want that official decree.
Men Who
Chet hadn't bothered to divorce his wife, although they'd been apart over seven years, because there was no reason. He casually dated as did she, and neither was thinking of a second marriage.
He met a rich powerful woman who resembled the Pillsbury Doughboy. She was entranced by him. She bought him everything, took him everywhere.
Now she was pregnant, and demanding him to divorce Number One.
To calm her he made a lame attempt to retain a lawyer. He didn't want to marry Doughboy. Yes, he liked her money, he liked her position, but was reluctant to make their relationship official.
The Pressure
Ms. Doughboy, tired of the delay, now approaches the lawyer. She will pay for the Divorce. She hands over a wad of cash, and the documents.
How long Chet will take to serve the Divorce Petition should alert Ms. Doughboy that he doesn't want to marry her.
Her pregnancy should never have been used as the device to gain Mrs. status.
Understanding Divorce
When a couple separates and neither moves for Divorce the question is 'Why?'
Inaction of the parties suggests that there is no impetus to dissolve the marriage. As years pass and neither makes an effort, it is a flag neither sees the reason to sever ties.
It is not so much the idea of reconciliation, it is the desire not to be in a position to remarry. Thus they opt for the status of marriage without the marriage.
Women who get involved with men who have neglected to divorce their wives have gotten involved with a man who has no intention of marrying again.
These men like the 'protection' of marriage so that any woman is the 'Other'. Women who date them take them with that 'impediment'.
If a woman is interested in a fling or a part time lover or a hook up, he is perfect. But falling in love with such a man is contraindicated. He doesn't want to get married again. He likes not being able to get married.
Reality
When a couple separates and makes no move for reconcilliation nor attempts to gain a divorce, it is clear that they do not wish to marry again.
Many men don't go for a divorce because they don't want to marry the female they are with. They may shut them up for a time by claiming they 'spoke' to a lawyer, but unless that female is rabid and pressures him, he is not going through with it.
Ms Doughboy paid for everything, and he married her, and he took him to her country as a souvenir.
So there he is, thousands of miles away, being supported by a woman who he really wouldn't want to be found dead with.