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How to Read Body Language on a First Date

Updated on November 3, 2013

Body language makes up 55% of our communication with others. The movements our bodies unknowingly and subconsciously create speak volumes about the way we're feeling mentally and emotionally. When a couple is in the midst of a heated argument and the woman folds her arms across her chest, she is sending a message that cannot be verbalized. Sentences are a logical construction, and sometimes they can only say so much. Where our words fall short, our natural reactions take over in the form of body language.

The key to understanding men, other than reading John Grey's Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, is to study their body language, the subconscious signs they emit with their features.

First Date

Head tilt: The head tilt is a come hither glance in the animal kingdom. From across the room, receiving the head tilt mean "Come closer to me"; if you're standing nearby already, the head tilt means "Come even closer."

Tight-lipped grin: When the smile is stretched with just the front teeth barely peeking through, he's not into you. While he may enjoy your company and conversation, there is little to no sexual or romantic spark.

Half smile: Similar to a cocky sneer, the half smile indicates he isn't being sincere. According to expert Patti Wood, "It's a split-face gesture. Each side of his face is telling a different story." It could either mean he's not completely into you, or is looking for a one night stand that goes no further than the front door--as you're on your way out the next morning.

Closed mouth grin: He likes you, but either he's shy, hesitant, or afraid of revealing too much too soon. Maybe he's afraid he'll say the wrong thing, or terrified that if he tells you everything there will be nothing left to talk about and you'll get bored and leave.

Feet pointed inward: The toes pointed toward each other means he's a little shy and a lot insecure. When we are feeling open, honest and approachable, our mannerisms reflect this desire with open hands and open stances. Were his toes pointed outwards and facing you, that would indicate that he wants to travel in your direction.

Touches his belt: Touching his belt, hanging his thumbs in his front pockets or belt loops, even scratching himself are all signs that he's hot and heavy and ready to go! Keeping his hands in this area is a natural instinct -- he's trying to call attention to his lower region, hoping you'll follow his lead and start paying attention to that area, too.

Maintains eye contact: While making eye contact is a good sign that he's interested, holding your gave for more than 5 seconds usually means he's a player. A gaze that steady and intense is unnatural, and he could be using it as a seduction technique simply to get you into bed.

Breaks eye contact: Not only is he afraid, he's also not in control. If he breaks eye contact before you do, he's saying "I will be submissive to you."

Smirk: A guy like this is a jokester, and he revels in the cat-and-mouse game that takes place at the start of any relationship. Getting him to have a serious chat about anything might also prove daunting; he prefers challenges rather than bluntness.

Let's analyze these first date signs

His feet are planted firmly on the floor, which indicates an honest, open stance.  But the arm crossed in front of the chest means he's protecting his heart and is not yet ready to be vulnerable. Knees pointed in her direction means he wants to move
His feet are planted firmly on the floor, which indicates an honest, open stance. But the arm crossed in front of the chest means he's protecting his heart and is not yet ready to be vulnerable. Knees pointed in her direction means he wants to move
Hands intertwined while the other hand remains loosely open is a great sign, as is smiling broadly and maintaining eye contact. He is VERY interested in her.
Hands intertwined while the other hand remains loosely open is a great sign, as is smiling broadly and maintaining eye contact. He is VERY interested in her.

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    • profile image

      Jacque 6 years ago

      I don't think things are always so black and white! Couldn't the hand on tha table simply be he is looking for a place to put his hand, he needs something to do with his it & the table is convient!

    • profile image

      Prachi dabral 6 years ago

      thanks for for all this information, its very useful

    • profile image

      Erkka 8 years ago

      I think that is pretty much correct, except according to this a man is either submissive or is trying to use seduction tactics if a woman doesn't break the eye contact. ;)

    • henrytom profile image

      henrytom 9 years ago

      Men don't flirt, it's their bodies that flirt.

    • janempowers profile image

      janempowers 9 years ago from New York, NY

      Thanks for the great information on how men flirt...

    • Nickny79 profile image

      Nickny79 9 years ago from New York, New York

      This hub is quite good and I agree with every item.

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