- Gender and Relationships
Values 101: Friendship -Through Thick and Thin
I've been straining, sifting and weighing the comments that I received on the post I've written on our people site on Facebook.
I started the thread that "Friendship is boundless." Less than a minute, I already received reactions coming from my kababayan (countrymen) who are working abroad regarding the topic. Funny thing, they can't get away with their laptop or mobile phones just to get updated regarding the situations back home.
It so happened that a national television program of Ms. Kris Aquino (President Noynoy Aquino's youngest sister), KrisTV, had just tackled FRIENDSHIP throughout the show. She summed up the day by saying that "Friendship is acceptance."
Accepting friends in who they are; not looking at their stature in the society, is what counts most when engaging into a lifetime commitment on friendship.
Opinions on Friendship
Fellow Filipino overseas workers have provided me these insights:
- "Brother Ino (that's what they call me), sadly, those whom I consider best-friends didn't lasted in my life. It's either no contact or misunderstanding occurred between us. That's why, I'm back with my family. Whatever 'dirty laundry' I brought home, they still accept me. I cannot fathom their support and care they're still giving for me."
- "We were three best of friends during high school years. All of a sudden I just knew that we're not classmates anymore because I was transferred to the upper section but the two were retained at my former section. It also hurt me when I found out that one of them befriended the more intelligent one in our class. The other one remained to mingle with me; nothing changed although, I was reprimanded by her adviser because I seated in at her class. I even answered back and insisted to remain in the class, but to no avail."
- "I remember my friend, whom I considered my best friend. One time, we didn't greeted each other because she got angry when her basketball team got defeated. We had a laugh after that incident. I have no contact with I decided to work abroad after finishing college."
Stages of Friendship
I don't know if there's such a thing like, leveling friendship. As if, I'm going to categorize all kinds of friendship that come my way.
Friendship involves emotions and values. I tend to value friendship more coupled with emotions itself. Does the heart feel obligated to care? I think so, because you cannot cope up with friends, if you don't have the heart to show that you care about this kind of relationship.
- Getting-to-know stage - When does your friendship with someone started? This is an awkward stage during your first search on the so-called friends in the community and school. I still have my best friend today. He's a very good family man, now. Although, his time is mostly concentrated on his family, he always find time to send text messages.
- Blooming stage - How does your friendship grow? This is the stage where you started opening up and showing your true self. Friendship among men is also similar with women. Secrets are always best revealed in the circle of friends.
- Longevity stage - What pact did you made regarding friendship? Most of friendship groups often have a lifetime pact, through thick and thin. It's like about marriage; true friends will stick with you as you grow older.
I can't get away with friends. Since, I am one of the social beings frolicking social sites online and involving myself at the local activities of the community, I see to it that I am connected with my friends whether online or at the actual setting.
How about you. How do you value friendship? Is there a chance that you cling more to friends than your family when you have personal problems?
Closer than association, rather than intimacy
There's a very tiny line separating friendship and intimacy. The thinnest of line that I could not see, and yet I can feel it that it's there.
Take for instance, it's like sealing a contract with others, aside from your family, that you intend to keep for life. Getting into this relationship requires no rules as long as you will not reach the level of intimacy. Although, intimate friendship is yet another stage of serious relationship.
Friendship also involves love. Love at this stage is the so-called filial love. You care for your friend, that you will even risk your life just to save him/her.
You can call it platonic love when it comes to friendship. There's no faking when you praise or criticize one's mistakes. You can lean on to him/her during your most sad moments.
Friendship will not even cling to your status in life. It's about camaraderie, an association that you can compare on fraternities of men and sororities of women.
There's a risk to maintain a longtime friendship. The road is not perfect, because of he humps and bumps of misunderstanding. At one point, you'll be thinking of giving it up. But if you care for another human soul to be productive, then you'll work it out to be smooth sailing until it reaches the sunset of your life.
You cannot hide from me
because I'm inevitable.
I will make your life exciting
with lots of tales to share.
We're into it, all the time
facing the perils & triumphs of life.
I never hear you whine,
Not even a flinch of disgust.
We may face all the trials
and tribulations this life may bring
Yet you're always there
Your energy never falter.
Through thick and thin
you're up for the askin'
all I can say is "thank you"
words are not enough, but it's true.
(Written by travelman1971 - August 01, 2011)
Quotations about Friendship
These are some of the quotations that we can live by with having friends. There are lots of comparison in giving definition about friendship. Yet, it falls into one, a friend is a mirror of one's self. That's why, there's a saying that " Birds of the same feather, flock together."
"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."(Elbert Hubbard)
What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. (Aristotle)
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend. (Albert Camus)
The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend. (Abraham Lincoln)
"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."
-- The Bible: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.
"I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.
I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, who has sight so keen and strong
That it can follow the flight of song?
Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend."
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Praising Mr. Longfellow
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (February 27, 1807 – March 24, 1882) was greatly admired by his fellow poet and author, Edgar Allan Poe. He was also praised by his friend and fellow poet and author Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Longfellow was popular with lyrical poems, where you can sing his composition by creating your own music along with it.
I will never forget how my English teacher in high school tested us by memorizing one of Longfellow's poems.
It's all about friendship. I know you've grown up with this poem that I hope you can memorize again by heart.
Most of his poem tells about an adventure or even, like the subject on searching for a true friend.