WHY MEN CHEAT AND HOW TO AVOID IT
IS CHEATING IN THE GENES?
Why Men Cheat: Biology?
Why men cheat is a question that has be asked millions of times, and answered with various points of view. Digging deep into the genes of men, provided a convenient answer; To Fulfill Their Biology. What a load of crap! The argument that men are designed to "spread their seed", and that "the biological urges to ensure the survival of his genetic legacy", is truly grabbing at straws! I'm not implying that the natural urge is not there, but I am saying everyone has urges of all kinds. Perhaps a self control seminar would be time better spent for those arguing monogamy isn't natural for men.
Do you believe that men are designed to be cheaters?
Can You Feel The Love?
Wrong Kind Of Fireworks
Almost all relationships start off great. Adoring each other and sparks are flying in the bedroom. So what happens? When did he start breathing so damn loud? How long has she pronounced it "supposebly"? New annoyances seem to pop up daily. Why? Your getting to really know each other. Getting comfortable. Getting past the top layer can reveal quite a different picture. Finding out that he picks his nose, or that she is terrible with money can really effect the way you look at a relationship. Often times love is already a factor, and with walking away not being the first choice, the fighting begins. Women tend to get critical at this juncture. Men don't typically respond well to critisism, and would rather avoid conversation altogether then fight.
Learning to Communicate Effectively with Your Husband
SHE HAS NEVER HEARD HIM SNORE
A woman's frustration with her man, typically drives her to express that to him. Having asked him 500 times now to put his cloths in the hamper, and to stop leaving the toilet seat up, she probably wont do much sugar coating Men generally don't view dropping their clothes on the floor to be disrespectful. More than likely, his lady adopted a special tone used when she is repeating herself for the third time, which he has subsequently tuned out. When that tone is used, he no longer hears her, but rather; "blah, blah, blah" This is a formula for disaster. The moment he walks in the door, a knife wielding woman holding boxers is charging him. Not the welcome home he had hoped for.
To make matters worse, some tart at the office, or his hangout, finds him adorable. Hanging on his every word, laughing at all his stupid jokes, and making it clear she wants him. You know, like you used to ladies? So here he is, with an angry, frustrated, and in his mind unreasonable woman at home plotting his death, verses a cute, flirty, interested woman.
That's a lot of pressure. He loves his woman and wants to be with her, but can not seem to make her happy. An opportunity for passion and desire presents itself, and often men take it. I personally believe this has little to do with his attraction to the particular woman, but the attraction to feeling wanted.
IS HE REALLY A PIG?
THE OLD BAIT AND SWITCH
Ladies, a lot of you aren't going to like this, but true is true. How many of you spent hours dolling up for dates, and would have died if he saw you without makeup those first 3 months? Don't lie. What effort do you make for him now? Humm? If you went from short skirts and lipstick to sweats and hair bands, how should he receive that? Women generally reply that her man should love her and be attracted to her regardless of what she looks like. WRONG! The truth is, that it's not a matter of what you look like as much as it is an issue of effort. If a man prefers high maintenance women, then he will pursue them. If you portray being one way and once relaxed your true colors show you prefer comfort, that's a bait and switch. Plenty of men prefer low maintenance women. The key is to be open and honest about these things.
Some men are just pigs. Others are portrayed to be after being misled.
Are You Awake?
Gone are the days of ravaging each other from room to room and carpet burns on the knees. Is it down to pity sex? A chore to be gotten over with? Are you kissing anymore? How can something as fantastic as sex be phased out and dreaded? Baggage. A woman's passion comes from the heart. Men derive passion through ego. If a woman feels loved, respected, attractive, and needed she will in turn feel sexy. Men need to feel desired, wanted, and physically needed. Attraction sparks chemistry initially, so it was there at some point. The baggage clouding that is what needs to be addressed.
If you roll your eyes at the prospect of sex, try to think back to the beginning. Sparks and butterflies of the first kiss, holding your breath a little the first time new hands touched your waist, heart racing as the button is undone. Remember that? Damn right you do. People want that, need that. Perhaps an open conversation about major issues could lead a conversation that ended with an effort to separate sex and problems. Women appear to withhold sex when they are upset, but the fact is they are not interested in sex when that's the case. Ladies, don't be afraid to take out some of your aggression toward your man in the bedroom. I feel it's a safe bet that he wont mind. New tactics may need to be adopted to get the ball rolling. One I have found to be playful and fun is teasing, without any option for sex until a certain time. If your sex life is currently dead or dieing, then chances are a wink is all it takes for your man to flog you, which can be annoying. It makes it hard to put the spark back if you're afraid getting something in your eye will get you attacked. So, if sex is not an option until, lets say 9pm, then start teasing him at noon. That puts sex on your mind, and his. You can be as playful as you want to be and enjoy watching him squirm. You may just find that it is you that cant wait till 9 pm. Be creative. If your open minded and put down that stick he deserves to be beat with for a day or two, passion may peek back in on you.
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IS HE CHEATING?
Sure Signs That He's Cheating
- At the beginning of an affair, he may actually be more affectionate than usual, due to guilt.
- Later you will find him disinterested in being affectionate with you, or you may see a sudden change in his sexual interests.
- He will become more distant, cold, and fault finding to the entire family.
- There may be a sudden increase in the time spent away from home.
- You may see suspicious telephone activity (i.e., hang up phone calls, unusual charges on bills, him trying to hide the phone bills, going into the other room to talk or whispering during conversations, or sudden use of prepaid phone cards).
- You may see suspicious computer activity (i.e., using the computer in private, turning off the screen when you enter the room, using free email services, or suddenly deleting email).
- He may become more frequently "unavailable" (i.e., busy at work, not answering cell calls, being "out of the office").
- You may see an unusual increase in secrecy (i.e., using the phone while you are asleep, being concerned with collecting the mail to intercept any unusual credit card bills, or checking voicemail before you to intercept messages).
- He may begin to have an unusual amount of interest in your precise daily schedule: When are you leaving? Where are you going? When will you be home?
- Overall appearance may change. He may have a sudden interest in getting in shape, or letting their hair grow, or wearing flashier clothing, using a different cologne or an abnormal increase in bathing.
- You may see an increase in unexplained financial transactions (i.e., finding strange receipts, unusual charges on credit accounts, or carrying around an unusual amount of cash).
Don't go rushing home to dump your man if something sounds familiar. One or two of these things can mean nothing. If he's guilty of nine of the eleven, get the frying pan out, and knock him out the door. Accusing a faithful man of cheating can really blow up in your face and cause a lot of problems. Just keep a watchful eye on him if your unsure. 85% of woman who suspect that her man is cheating, turns out to be right. Follow your gut.
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