- Gender and Relationships
Wanted - A Friend....
How to make friends
Making friends is difficult...
Making friends is difficult… at least for me. I have always found it difficult to find someone that I could relate to. Maybe it was because I was shy. Maybe it was because I am a little on the abnormal side! (But I guess that depends on your definition of abnormal!) Maybe it was because I was chunky. Maybe I never wore the right clothes. Maybe it was because my family was poor. Maybe it was that horrible bowl cut I had in 6th grade. Regardless of the reason, I always found it difficult to reach out to new people. Therefore I surrounded myself with lifetime friends, and not just acquaintances.
The problem is, the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. The opportunities just aren’t there. After all, it isn’t like finding a date where you can go to a bar and scoop out some attractive being of the opposite sex and exchange phone numbers. If a girl went up to a girl in a bar and asked for her number, they might get a little bit of a strange look! If a guy went up to another guy and did the same thing… well, someone might have their lights punched out.
Finding friends over 30 might prove to be even harder still. It seems with each passing decade the milestones in your life make it harder and harder to meet people of the same milestones. Maybe it is the comfort zone you are in. More and more, you keep to yourself because you have your schedule and you have your routine. Change is uncomfortable and putting yourself out there is dangerous.
When in your 20s, people go to bars and clubs a plenty (especially with the infamous 21st birthday to celebrate!) To work off all that extra beer weight, they might even find themselves with a gym membership. Both are great locations to meet new friends. To top it off, some are still in college and are surrounding themselves with a peer group that might prove to be memorable for ages to come. It seems opportunities to meet new people are all around you… there really is no choice but to meet someone new!
When you head into your 30s, chances are high that you have meet the one and have already established a friend group. It seems these two factors make people unwelcoming to others joining into a new group. This makes it difficult to make new friends. To top it off, the bar scene has probably become a bore (either that or you have your own children and babysitters are rare!) A person this age are probably well into a routine, whether it be work, home and bed!
This is the age group I fit in. Recently, my husband and kids have moved to Southern California. I have left behind family and friends from the Midwest. While I do have family out here, it seems my friend base is lacking. While family is great, nothing beats a friend who will go to coffee with you or just hang out because they enjoy your company. Someone who will listen to your rants and raves; someone who you can share your life with (but goes home with someone else!)
Back on the market
So here I am, back in the friend market once again. While I have no intention of replacing lifelong friends from back home, I can only hope to add to the ones I already have.
Wanted: Female friend who is interested in finding a real friend; someone who listens and someone who can hold a decent conversation. Looking for someone that holds similar interests - such as photography, scrapbooking, sports, working out, and cooking. Board game (or video game lover) is a bonus. Prefers someone with high family values. Looking for someone who is trustworthy, honest, and overall just a fun person to be with. Qualified person would be interested in fun times, new experiences, and creating what will hopefully be a lifetime friend! Serious inquires only.
Finding a friend can be difficult in this day and age. It seems everyone out there is afraid of getting hurt. They don’t want to open themselves up for potential hurt. The problem is, if you don’t open yourself up for potential hurt, you may be missing out on an experience of a lifetime. So go ahead and open yourself up. Create your own “Friend Wanted” Ad. You never know who you may meet because of it!
Lonely... it's a challenge
- Making Friends in Your 30's
I turned 35 this year. My capacity for bullshit is waning as the years are stacking up. That said, I've seen many
- The Challenges of making friends after college
Well, after living in NYC for three years now and yes, I have friends. I am not denying that I have friends. But in this day and age, it seems damn near impossible to create that same sex and they city kind of...