Ways We Torment Men...Unaware

Ways We Torment Men…Unaware

There are some things women are simply never made aware of until perhaps it’s much too late, (and men are on the verge of an emotional breakdown that may start off as anger but quickly evolves to tears). There are things we simply do to torment our husbands or boyfriends, or male friends in general that we are simply unaware of. For one, take grocery shopping. I admittedly love when my husband goes grocery shopping with us. I think it makes things easier, since from my rationale, two heads are better than one when you didn’t take the time to create a shopping list and can’t remember what we need more of. Also, I can get the stuff he likes when he goes with us, since when people go shopping they usually have a one tracked mind, revolving around what they like to eat. And thirdly, his attendance prevents me from buying up the whole store. But whether you know it or not, not all men are cut out for this task and find it torturous.

Whether it is the annoyance of walking down long extended isles, full of the same product over and over again, packaged differently by brand, trying to avoid other baskets, running children, or isle blockage in general, or the time it takes a woman, who, let’s face it, makes long methodical decisions about everything she picks up and might possibly purchase, be it browsing the ingredients, the calories, the expiration date, the number of pieces inside the package, how quickly it cooks, is it microwaveable, will I need more ingredients to make it, is the price reasonable compared to the other packages, etc., etc… I don’t know… To a man: picture on package looks delish, I’m going to put it in the basket… That alone should detail the annoyance a man feels when grocery shopping with his woman. And in all honesty, my husband leaves every grocery store expedition we have ever had, upset…

Another thing women do to annoy men, I suppose goes hand in hand with nagging, or is a form of it. I can’t even explain why we do it. Have you ever asked your man to do something and then asked how he did it or had verifying questions to ensure he did it properly, or at least to your standards? For example: "Honey, can you feed the fish tonight?"

"Sure."

Then when he comes into the bedroom later on that night, "Did you feed the fish honey?"

"Yes dear."

"Did you give them the algae pellets or the tropical flakes."

"A little of both dear."

"Were they receptive, did they come to the top of the tank immediately?"

"Yes… I mean… I guess…I don’t know, I didn’t wait around to see."

"Did you turn on the Aqua light?"

"Yes."

"Was the filter still going strong."

By this time he’s livid with annoyance if not anger, I’d presume… thinking, you should have done this yourself if all the other little things were such a concern… And I can go on and on and on…Why we do it, I know not. Just a bad habit or a woman’s nature I suppose, but I’m sure you can see how this can be annoying.

Another way we annoy our men, not always aware is our little comments that we say humorously, but really mean. For example, you might call your man Oscar the Grouch on occasion when his monster can, I mean man cave gets messier than usual, even though we aren’t allowed as women to ease drop in…

On occasion you might refer to his feet as bear paws given the length and sharpicity (new word just invented by me just now to exude extreme sharpness bordering on dangerous) of his toe nails. Why is it annoying to the point of tormenting? Because the truth is, this is him, you may have discovered it after the honeymoon was over, but it’s known, he knows it, and you know it, so why bring it up at all, right?

Eventually he’ll clean up the man cave, maybe when he has Grover, Elmo, Big Bird or another man visit and eventually he’ll cut those bear paws down to size after he has cut up your legs to bleeding during play fighting or coitus, whichever comes first. (Guess we’re both annoyed on that one, which should make it okay to torment, unaware or not…) I’m sure the list goes on. Thus, to summarize how we annoy men unaware, and to provide some solutions:

When grocery shopping with a man, K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid). If we adopt the same thought process: that the picture looks good enough to eat on the package and pick it up, we could have a shorter trip. Sure, you can’t do that with all products with the way we think, but try it out, live a little, you might be pleasantly surprised. The simple truth is we aren’t disarming a bomb and we aren’t making a life altering decision, its groceries, get it and go.

Ask your man to do something and trust that he will do it, even if he’s skimped in the past or did something wrong from your eye view. Just either provide implicit instructions or catch him later in a lie, because the truth always rears its ugly head, then you can give him a spanking and put him on time out.

If you know the nature of the beast why comment on it? Tell him his boy Snuffleupagus is coming over and that he cut your leg up last night with his bear paws, while cuttin’ it up. Whatever is clever!

Comments welcome…