Guys, These Signs Will Tell You That Your Future In-Laws Do Not Like You

• those eager-beaver future son-in-laws who are full of optimism, ready to take on the world, and always-positive about everything in life.
• those guys with perfect teeth and a beaming smile who actually believe that they will not suffer anything embarrassing during the course of their lives.

Not all, but some, when they meet their fiancé's entire family, it is similar to jumping naked into a huge tank with ribeye steaks tied to your body to try and survivethe hungry five bull sharks that are already swimming toward yu.

The poor guy cannot do or say anything that is right or pleasing to his in-laws. And although a sad scene, it is in the son-in-law's best interest that he find out now that his in-laws do not like him rather than find out a few years into his marriage to their daughter.

But just in case there are some guys who just cannot see things for what they are, here is my list of . . .

You Can Know (by These Signs) That Your Futur

In-Laws Do Not Like You

First, let's make sure that you are

• Dressed "to the nines,"--new suit, shoes, shirt. Man, you are looking sharp.
• Teeth clean because you paid good money for your dentist to clean them yesterday.
• Hair cut and styled by your uncle who is the best hairstylist in the city.
• Your manners are immaculate.
• Your smile is super.
• You are relaxed.
• You do not smoke cigarettes or "weed."
• You do not drink alcohol--even on special occasions.
• You made straight "A's" throughout high school and college.

You just might be "a" perfect man.

You are looking more-perfect than usual so your in-laws cannot attack how you look or act, so what are the ways that you know that you will not marry this family's gorgeous girl and become part of their family?

Pay close attention to each sign--try to memorize them for your future life

1. You notice that your potato salad is laced with rat poison.
2. The family dog is tied to your chair. By the way, he has rabies.
3. The dad just glares right at you all during the meal.
4. The mother sharpens two knives as she glares right at you.
5. The maid is told to not serve you.
6. The brat kids are told they will get twenty-bucks if they kick you and pull your nose.
7. When you try to talk, all of the family ignores you.
8. Your fiancé tries to stop this attack, but she is afraid of her parents.
9. Her ex, a "Barry Steel," a professional weight lifter, member of the U.S. Army Rangers, is seated next to you on purpose.
10. Your fiancé's mom urges your fiancé to dance with "Barry."
11. Your fiancé's dad gets up and for no reason, slaps you in the face.
12. Everyone at the dining table stop eating to laugh at you.
13. An infant baby born to your fiancé's older sister and is just learning to talk, says to the dad, "Do it again, grandpop. Coo. Coo." And he does.
14. A smart alec future nephew says to you, "Are you a panty waist?"
15. His twin brother, another smart alec says, "No, Bobbie. He is an idiot."
16. The maid now is serving coffee and your favorite cake, but you do not get served.
17. You grin and chuckle thinking that your lack of anger will stop this harsh treatment.
18. The dad storms at you, :Are you laughing at us?"
19. The dog growls at you and bites your leg several times. The mother cheers for seeing you in such pain.
20. One of the smart alec nephews asks, :You gonna die?"
21. The maid who usually minds her own business, is laughing at you now.
22. You see the ring you gave your fiancé laying on top of the half-eaten meatloaf.
23. Your fiancé is now in the lap of her ex, "Barry," and they are making-out like crazy to the delight of her parents and family.

You slowly wipe your mouth and quietly walk to the front door and

start living your life without these jackasses.