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Lust - Stimulants and Latest Fashion

Updated on August 12, 2013
Is It Lust or just Good Clean Fun?
Is It Lust or just Good Clean Fun?
Where Lust can Lead
Where Lust can Lead

Lust is a self-destructive drive for pleasures of all kinds

Lust is the insatiable drive for sensuality, for more and more experiences of power and pleasure, where self-worth and self-esteem are augmented usually at the expense of others. I am not speaking of lust in sexuality alone. I am speaking of an ever-escalating craving for high-toned experiences in areas of power, pleasure, and sensuality; a piercing craving that is not satisfied with normal experiences of an every-day good life.

Lust for extreme pleasure and gratification can arise as a result of perceived failure in life or business. Thwarted intentions of achieving a certain level of success in life and unrealized expectations of reward for those achievements, are often the precursors of lust. If my business fails I may find it necessary, for my own sense of self esteem, to excel in another area of life. If my sense of self worth is tied up with being seen to achieve success or status then I may develop a strong craving for personal exploitation of a nature and at a level that would be considered out of bounds for most of my peers.

If I am not praised for the success I believe I have achieved or not rewarded appropriately for my outstanding performance, as I see it, then I may slip easily into fantasies of what life would be like if reality matched my expectations and dreams. For some it becomes difficult to separate reality from fantasy; the dream world becomes the real world where anything goes and the day-to-day real world fades into a monotonous dream.

Young People Having Fun on a Beach - Or, Is It Something More?
Young People Having Fun on a Beach - Or, Is It Something More? | Source

Lust is Disguised as Enlightened Normalcy

The experience of lust is rather like taking extreme mood enhancers, and just as powerful mood enhancers can destroy, so can lust. Today, lust (not just sex) is disguised as enlightened normalcy in personal and business relationships. The tolerant acceptance of lust portrayed on television, in films, on the internet, and in personal communication media is titillating and regarded as an enshrined right in this free world. In the media, lust may bring a person to ruin, but we often feel a kinship with the romantic hero who risks it all for the woman of his fantasies or the business of his dreams.

As a person becomes enslaved by lust he will unashamedly use other people as objects to satisfy his driving need for extreme pleasure and satisfaction. They must be prepared to bring him coffee, drive his car, wait on him without complaint so he can remain focused on his 'master plan'. In order for him to succeed, not only he, but those around him, must learn how to play this game. And the ‘game’ is dictated by the latest fads of a society preoccupied by pleasure, power, sex and achievement.

As lust and sex are seen to be joined, and are seen to be the 'acceptable' way to really live life, lust-sex becomes the custom everywhere. Unfortunately though, this combination quickly becomes the norm, the routine, and is expected in all situations. Normal sexual pleasure becomes boring and is seen as routine. The new lustful sexual pleasure is all that is wanted, all that is acceptable. So it becomes the norm. Not only is the craving for extreme pleasure and gratification required, it is seen as the standard that must be met. This erotically mutated, (once private) pleasure becomes blown out of proportion and context, to become a publicly acceptable and admired goal for all to achieve. It is then further fed by a multi-billion dollar sex industry that turns it into a fad.

No one takes responsibility for these mighty forces turning something once regarded as 'sacred' into a lustful craving for personal gratification in an overly indulgent society. The real danger is when something this habit-forming enslaves people. It becomes boringly repetitive. And anything boringly repetitive requires spicing up.

Mardi Gras & Carnival

The Mistick Krewe of Comus  (founded in 1856). Mardi Gras carnival krewe.  Lithograph in the Public Domain.
The Mistick Krewe of Comus (founded in 1856). Mardi Gras carnival krewe. Lithograph in the Public Domain.
A beautiful young woman takes a short break from the Rio de Janeiro Carnival
A beautiful young woman takes a short break from the Rio de Janeiro Carnival

Don’t Be a Party-Pooper, a Downer. This is the Way Young People Are Today

The stimulants that encourage lust to rear its ugly head are found in so many day-to-day activities: Advertising around certain television programs, many TV sitcoms, raunchy talk among friends drinking after work, headlines in newspapers and magazines, promotion on the internet, and pornography on the internet.

The stimulants for lust are also found in women’s clothing designs – low necklines, low slung pants, thongs to emphasize body contours – and in women’s shoes – high, high heels. Stimulants to lust are found in eye and lip makeup – smoky eyes and puffy, pouty lips. For men it is found in their accessories, their toys and their cars. Body piercings and erotic tattoos are found in both men and women. There is not much wrong with many of these things in and of themselves.

Taken one at a time, each of these stimulants is regarded as a modern expression of creativity and youthful enjoyment. For those not part of the younger generation or willing to promote a lustful lifestyle, they may feel that they are seen to be a little stuffy or oppressive.

“I may not want to wear what the young people wear, or show so much skin myself, but I guess it’s OK on others, especially the young people.”

And there are places where lustful behaviour is quite acceptable. In fact, if you don’t look and act in a lustful manner you are generally ignored or scorned. Sitting at a bar or in a nightclub. Flirting on the beach or at a party. It is common behaviour. Consider Mardi Gras in New Orleans or Carnival in Rio de Janeiro. Both are excellent examples of tremendous fun and excitement. Both demand long hours of building and decorating ostentatious colourful floats. Special costumes are made and fitted precisely. And beautiful people share in the more carnal festivities just before Lent.

Lust in Action.
Lust in Action.
Just Waiting to Be Asked
Just Waiting to Be Asked

Unbridled Lust Thrives

Unfortunately, as celebrating a very licentious form of sex becomes more and more normal and acceptable, it also becomes dangerous. The problem is that if it were just sex and revelry that were being celebrated it would be acceptable to some. But it is not just sex and revelry that are being celebrated, it is lust and instant gratification that participants celebrate. And the more one participates, the higher the level of stimulus is required to achieve the new and demanding level of gratification needed to satiate.

This leads to a vicious spiral of escalating sexual demands that require ever increasing stimulation that can be provided only by sophisticated, sexually attractive people. This epitome of sexual perfection is unattainable by most people yet society demands that we try.

Peer pressure plays a significant part in demanding that this unreachable state of perfection becomes essential to a successful life. So if you do not have “it” you had better get “it.”

Lust Thrives in a Decadent Society

Lust thrives while lives are ruined, marriages break down, morals are rationalized and principles are marginalized. People can waste a great deal of precious time just daydreaming about the object of their lust.

Pleasure in attaining the object of one’s lust soon evaporates leaving a vague sense of disillusionment which requires new experiences and escalating stimulation. It is a shame that society praises perfection and the achievement of that perfection. To be successful, to be seen as successful, you must have _____ (you fill-in the blank)! It is unfortunate that the object of one's lust is so attractive.

The shame is that men and women spend huge amounts of money and go to great lengths to participate in this ritual when there are so many other ways to experience pleasure and great satisfaction. It is just that these other ways of enjoying life do not get the same press, the same media attention, nor do they cost as much money.

A Small Delight - Strawberries and Champagne
A Small Delight - Strawberries and Champagne | Source

A Small Delight or a Serious Craving

At the beginning of this article I said that lust is the insatiable drive for sensuality not just sexual pleasure. Although I have devoted almost the entire article to lust for sex and how it impacts our lives, I wish to note here that there are other cravings we can have that may appear less dangerous. That is not true. Other extreme cravings are also dangerous perhaps more so because they are hidden.

Take the craving for writing articles. If I can’t wait to get home to write another article and because of that I ruin another person’s enjoyment of the day or evening, the craving is serious and needs to be acknowledged. If I stay up most of the night to continue to work on something then can’t perform properly the next day because I am exhausted, I have a problem as serious as addiction to substances.

My lust may not be in a sexual area. My lust may be a craving for the extreme pleasure I get from writing. If I do not use discipline to schedule this activity I could literally ruin my life. You may not think this is as serious as other cravings. But I have experienced becoming so preoccupied with my writing that I didn’t go out for six weeks. I mean I didn’t go out for groceries, to see friends, or anything. I just stayed in and wrote and wrote and wrote. When I ran out of fresh food I chewed on ice cubes.

My craving was a drive for the sensual pleasure of giving birth to a beautiful series of articles for a very worthwhile cause. This activity fed my ego, my creative expression needs, my self esteem needs, and on it goes.

A real craving is lustful in nature.

When it involves a piece of chocolate it is not a problem. But when lust involves an out of proportion drive for something to satisfy our reason for living, we have a problem. Lust is dangerous and we all should watch for signs of it rearing its ugly head.


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    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      6 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      “Is seduction via chocolate okay?” See my hub on chocolate! ;) I agree that we need to consider both culture and upbringing when considering how acceptable sensuality is. Sensuality is a wonderful concept and experience. Being able to enjoy sensuality in many areas of life: nature, eating, painting, writing, artistic pursuits such as films, the stage, sculpting, and yes, sexual relations, is a joyous experience. I believe it fits well with a very spiritual and moral life.

      When we consider lust and sexuality we can easily label lust as “bad”. Lust for sex can be life- and spirit-destroying when more experiences are required and when “higher” experiences are required to satiate the lust.

      Having a great piece of chocolate that triggers the hormones and chemicals in the brain can lead to lovely intimate experiences, especially with someone who is known and loved. But some do have hormones and chemicals in their body that are stronger than the chemicals in others. And, I fear, these people may suffer more with lust-like drives. When these drives are triggered by television or the Internet, those people with extreme drives can much more easily fall into the trap of experiencing extreme lust and facing undesirable consequences.

      Although I believe that culture and upbringing can play a major role in channeling strong desires in young people I don’t believe we have many good models or ways to learn about lust without a strong moral culture and upbringing. It seems to me that television and the internet, to a great extent, provide destructive demands on people to express lust and to expect lustful behaviour. A person not brought up to know the difference between sexuality and sensuality hardly has a chance in our North American society.

      Viva sensuality and viva chocolate!

      Thanks for your comments, Ken, they are very much appreciated.

    • Kenja profile image

      Ken Taub 

      6 years ago from Long Island, NY

      How about seduction via chocolate, is that okay? ; ') Intense piece, and bold in its way.

      Of course we have to factor in culture (Amish vs. Brazilian, Chinese vs. French), age (25 vs. 65), personal proclivities (high, middling or low sex drive), married with kids in the rural countryside or single in the city... plus general health, appearance and 20 other factors.

      I also like to say that one can be a kind, sane and respectful sensual being, one with a strong drive and a host of opportunities -or - a shamed-filled and sometimes deeply unpleasant Puritan. We all know sexually modest persons who are not so nice or respectful to their partners, yes? The world is filled with unhealthy minded & thoroughly creepy prudes.

      Me, I'm for sex AND chocolate.

      Thanks for taking on Lust, Marilyn. Brave move in these times. Because sex depersonalized or cruelly perverted can indeed be a destructive force. best, Ken

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      6 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      You are so right, vespawoolf! Deep and memorable satisfaction in life comes mostly from focusing and expressing enriching creativity. We need to be aware of any habits forming that may lead to uncontrollable lustful desires that are harmful to ourselves or others. And we need to remember that creativity does not need to come from lustful desires but, rather, from heightened awareness.

      Thanks very much for your comments.

    • vespawoolf profile image

      Vespa Woolf 

      6 years ago from Peru, South America

      This is an excellent explanation of the psychological reasons behind the lust so common in society. It's so true that this lifestyle is damaging and we need to keep control. There are so many other (safe) ways to find satisfaction in life. Thanks!

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      7 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      James A Watkins - thank you for your high praise. My concern is that we (humankind today) have so much undirected leisure time when hormones rage all we think about is immediate gratification in the manner shown to us on TV or the internet.

      If we had more challenging interests that required creativity, or if we had strong beliefs that directed us away from harmful habits, or if we had more physical exercise, we may find much more beneficial and soul-satisfying ways of feeling good now.

      Morals need to be taught and modeled by strong mentors. Morals can not successfully be foisted upon us. Many of the strong urges and drives we battle are due to chemicals in the brain. We need much more education and reinforcement on how to channel these mammalian drives into moral and satisfying actions/behaviors.

      Thank you, James. This issue is very meaningful to me and I wish I could do something about it.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      7 years ago from Chicago

      This is truly a fabulous article. I agree with your analysis. As the children of the last generation or two are taught in school that they are nothing more than accidental animals, and this life is all there is, while the media touts a lifestyle centered around "if it feels good do it", they plunge into the most base behaviors rather easily.

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      7 years ago from Vancouver, Canada


      Thank you sincerely for your very kind comments. I am humbled.

      Sincerely, Marilyn (Maralexa)

    • SanneL profile image


      7 years ago from Sweden

      Wow - Amazing hub!!

      I love how you made a point of lust not always being in the sexual area. There are so many other forms of lust. When a small delight becomes a serious craving, it's time to stop and seriously start to think what impacts it has on our lives, before it ruins families, marriages, friendships, morals and values. Writing can indeed be an absorbing desire, I've been there myself!

      Maralexa -- You're an excellent writer and thank you for an interesting article.

      Voted up and shared!

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      7 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Blagsmith.

      I was trying to show how pervasive lust is in our lives and how the media push all the buttons to make us feel we absolutely need something more to make us 'normal'.

      I also wanted to show how lust is much more than just about sex.

    • The Blagsmith profile image

      The Blagsmith 

      7 years ago from Britain

      An interesting observation on the use of lust today. A lot of thought has gone into this and it is appreciated equally. Thanks Maralexa

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      7 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      Thank you so much Tina. Lust really is cravings gone to extreme. And there is so much external pressure to having more and having exactly the right thing. Peer pressure is huge especially when it has the power of the media behind it.

      Your comments are always appreciated!

    • thougtforce profile image

      Christina Lornemark 

      7 years ago from Sweden

      Very interesting hub! You have so many good points here and I love how you described lust! Soon it is abnormal to have a normal life (whatever that is)! To crave more and more, better, higher is maybe is the biggest advantages of humans as well as our biggest fault! Voted up, interesting!


    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      7 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      Thank you Princessa for your comments. Lust is not just about sex. Lust is about craving the 'high' that comes from the sensual feelings you get when indulging a habit.

      Good to hear from you!

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 

      7 years ago from France

      Very interesting view. I always linked lust to sex, having it related to other areas of your life, like the lust described for your writing is a new way to seeing lust for me.

      Thought Inviting hub.

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      7 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      What may look like an innocent habit (the workaholic) may in reality be a lust for the extreme pleasure found in finishing a project or “writing one more hub”! If you can’t stop – it may be more than a harmless habit. It might be a serious craving.

      I appreciate your commenting on this. It is probably the most important point I tried to make.

      Thanks, Eparisi679.

    • Eparisi679 profile image


      7 years ago from Maryland

      Amazing hub Mara!! I like how you used writing as an example, because I've definitely been in that boat before. You become so absorbed in getting your emotion out that you fail to take new ones in :/ Thank you for this article, I voted up and interesting/awesome. Happy hubbing!!

    • Cloverleaf profile image


      8 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

      Hi Maralexa,

      Lust can indeed be a devilish desire! Thanks for the reminder to keep those desires under control. Great hub and an interesting read.


    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      8 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      Thanks 2besure. It is such a shame that our communications and entertainment media can twist something ordinary into something that requires so much energy and money to maintain. Cravings of any kind can be so dangerous, especially when we don't recognize what we are feeling as a craving for some kind of personal pleasure.

      I appreciate your comments.

    • 2besure profile image

      Pamela Lipscomb 

      8 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      This demonic spirit destroys so many lives. It destroys the innocence of children and destroys families and marriages. Get expose on lust!

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      8 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      Thank You epi! I appreciate your comments and your post to your Facebook friends. I do hope that HubPages doesn't find this hub too 'risky" for placement of ads. If you hear any comments, please pass them on.

      Cheers, my friend!

    • epigramman profile image


      8 years ago

      ...well if I can be bold in saying this - I really 'lusted' after this hub - you have done such an excellent job here and I must post this essential hub to my lusty Facebook crowd with a direct link back here so they can discover an excellent writer .....

      lake erie time ontario canada 3:57pm no lust for me right now I just came out of the lake after a quick dip and it's getting colder

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      8 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      Hi Lucky Cats! Thank you for your comments. Always great hearing from you. Your comment about "kids being sexualized at a very early age" is one of the main problems. Sex is "sold" to kids as being OK outside of marriage -- just as long as they are having "safe" sex. I do not believe that they are having safe sex even though they may be protecting themselves from pregnancy and disease. I believe they are being taught to trivialize the sexual experience and, as a result it will loose all its value, its real meaning, and the full enjoyment of it in a marriage. With sex education in schools being based on avoidance of pregnancy or disease, I feel kids are being cheated. Then with the media basing almost all of its advertising messages on sex, kids and young adults are getting a very skewed message and image of what is important about sex in life.

      I think I will work on this hub further. Thanks for your great comments!

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      8 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      Hi Sunnie, thank you for your intriging comments. I agree with you. There is nothing wrong with the sexual act but it needs to be kept within a committed union (marriage) of husband and wife. When sex is commercialized it skews its meaning and value. I really value your feedback.

    • Lucky Cats profile image


      8 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

      Hi maralexa...excellent hub. You have introduced a subject that needs to be considered...and rightfully so. What is a shame is the fact that, just as you've outlined, more and more, extreme, intense measures must be utilized for response/reaction...what once was a 'thrill' and excited expectation; the joining of two together for sex/"making love," physical release is now considered mundane....there must be added devices, visual stimulants, creams and oils which "heat" things up, "toys," just for people to "get off." (sorry for being so graphic's the truth)...and, again, as you've pointed out...television and movie teasing and pushing the bar ever upward to achieve the heightened stimulation which, now, is REQUIRED...NECESSARY...,in order to respond. I feel badly for young people who have had the joy of sex stolen from them...they are forced to extreme behaviors and measures in order to consider themselves and be considered "attractive."

      Or interesting..or 'experienced.' Rather than the delight, discovery and exploration of natural are pushed to any and all behaviors...again, unfortunate. i wrote a hub, "Steal the Experience," months ago...partly addressing this very phenomena...that, rather than two people meeting and enjoying one another and building a relationship...on many are sexualized at a very early don't want to appear naieve or "unworldly," and so it goes. Very sad...Sunnie and Sueswan are on target; just as YOU are...great hub and thank you for having the fortitude to put it out there.

    • Maralexa profile imageAUTHOR

      Marilyn Alexander 

      8 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

      Thanks Sueswan. It's amazing how easy it is for people to fall into the obsession. It must be hard to extricate themselves.

      Thanks again. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Great hub Maralexa

      We live in a sex obsessed and information overload society.

      There are those that can't have a satisfying, loving sexual relationship with a real human being because they are hooked on porno.

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 

      8 years ago

      Really good hub know you have a great point here...the natural desire can be an awesome thing but when it is constantly having to be stimulated by other outside sources, then the natural desire no longer has the same effect. People search and try to fill it with more and more stimulation whether it be drugs, lust, sex, whatever… with each step they take outside the natural desire, they cannot get it back and they are left feeling empty..The bed is a wonderful, magical place...but it is like food...the more natural is better for you, it feeds your soul… start adding all the will just make you sick in time... me thinking here.



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