- Gender and Relationships»
"We can be friends" Reasons why people rewind relationships
Ever been dating someone and everything is going great? This person is saying all the right things,and doing them as well. Their talking about future plans as if they want you to truly be a part of their life. They smother you with attention and you feel like the only one in their world. You think to yourself,where has this person been all my life? Things couldn't be more right until one day things go wrong. All of sudden calls and texts have dropped and your wondering what's going on. You confront the person only to get the infamous "we can be friends". Your baffled at this statement considering you were just yesterday discussing cohabitation with the person. "we can be friends" Negates all the time you were trying to be lovers, it's a cop out at best. It's also a slap in the face after you have invested time and energy in a person.Usually there is a underlying reason as to why someone wants to rewind you back to the friendship phase. We will discuss below a few reasons why this scenario happens.
Your left to pick up the pieces
They have gone back to an ex
So you now know that you have been sent back to the start of the relationship,here may be one reason why. The person you were dating and who you thought was very much into you,was really just killing time. Yes, you read right! Killing time and waiting for their ex to figure out what they want. When their ex came back singing sweet nothings in their ear, you were immediately kicked to the curb. This is a common thing that happens during the dating phase,when one person has a hidden agenda of fulfilling their own needs.There was really nothing you could have done to prevent it. Maybe you missed the excessive ex talk,that you dismissed as harmless. It happens all the time,and the only thing that can stop this kind of thing, is open communication. However,when people are in their selfish mode,their need for instant gratification, is far greater than their need to be considerate of your feelings.
Their actually emotionally unavailable
These kind of people are really emotionally blocked but they can put up a good front for a little while. They do a great job of feeding off your emotions but not really displaying any of their own. You never notice this because it's masked by attention and gifts for no reason. They are capable of a " I miss you" or "I'm thinking about you" Only because their emulating something that was said to them and they got a good response from it before. Sad to say there emotionally not available because their emotions are possibly tied up with someone else. Or they are so afraid of getting hurt,they were never open and receptive to you to begin with. Emotionally unavailable people walk around closed and guarded. Occasionally, they will spot someone with potential and try to get them to stay on their team, until their emotions can be available. Never wait for this to occur, it's a personal problem and it needs to be dealt with alone or through counselling.
Their lonely and used you for attention
*****Warning***** People will use you for your time,money, and attention if you let them. Don't get bamboozled! Watch out for signs that someone is trying to use you. If there far away in another country making promises to meet you one day,be careful not to send these people money. If their in the military and don't have regular access to someone that will be attentive, and supportive while their serving our country. Be careful they aren't trying to you use for attention and moral support. If you have never met them,and they don't have sufficient enough pictures and won't webcam with you. Be careful they are not leading a double life and you're their internet fantasy. All these reasons are reasons someone might disappear on you. It happens and especially in the day of online dating,it happens more often then not. Just be aware and stay aware. Moving on is the best solution,finding someone whose compatible and open and receptive. Someone who would never leave you for any reason,emotionally or otherwise. It's a cold world out there,please bundle up!