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Wedding Expense Etiquette- Expenses Paid by the Bride and Groom

Updated on April 26, 2010
The process of getting married can be expensive, and the bride and groom certainly aren't let off the hook for some of the tab
The process of getting married can be expensive, and the bride and groom certainly aren't let off the hook for some of the tab

Bride and Groom Cover Wedding Expenses Too!

You think you're off the hook for covering wedding expenses simply because you're the bride or groom? Think again...

Sure, you might have gotten financial help for the wedding from the bride or groom's family, but there are still some wedding costs paid for by the bride and groom. You might have already paid for some of these costs, but other wedding expenses traditionally covered by the couple might come as a surprise.

Read on to learn about wedding costs that are traditionally covered by the newlywed couple. And follow me on twitter to read about all things wedding.

Wedding Expenses to be Covered by Groom

In no particular order, here's a list of the things for which the husband-to-be needs to pay.

Hopefully you knew this already, but in case you didn't, let us be the first to tell you: As the man, you are responsible to pay for your fiancee's wedding rings. There's nothing more tacky than having your mother help you pay for your engagement ring! Trust me.

  • Blood test

As a courtesy to your future bride (and yourself!), you should get yourself checked out at the doctor's office for different STDs or other diseases. Just call your doctor's office, tell them you're getting married and that you want to get a pre-marriage health check up.

  • Marriage license

The cost of the marriage license should be covered by the groom as well.

  • Clergyman's fees

Paying the wedding officiant/minister should be done discreetly, but the funding has to be covered by the groom. Suggestion: put the clergyman's check in an envelope, put his or her name on it and have your best man give it to him before the service.

  • Florals

And not just any florals- flowers for the bride, corsages for the mothers (and other special ladies) and boutonnieres for men in the wedding party are all paid for by the groom. Flowers are a nice touch to any wedding.

  • Honeymoon

This might be the most expensive thing on the groom's tab, especially if you decide to go to Hawaii like we did. Save early, and save hard. You can do it!

  • Gifts for attendants

This should be done in partnership with your bride-to-be.

  • Transportation of best man from hotel to ceremony

This might be necessary in weddings where the best man would need outside transportation to get to the ceremony (taxi, limo, etc).

  • Wedding gift for your fiancĂ©e

Some couples choose to start their new marriage off with a heartfelt gift. Other couples forego this route. Either is fine according to wedding etiquette.

  • Lodging costs for wedding attendants (if it's a destination wedding)

See the section below called "How the Trends are Changing" for more details.

Wedding Expenses to be Covered by Bride

In no particular order, here's a list of the things for which the wife-to-be needs to pay.

  • Wedding ring for groom

Don't forget to get his ring size.

  • Wedding gift for the groom

Some couples choose to give each other gifts, others do not. Either way is fine, but it's always a good idea to talk with your future spouse about it.

  • Gifts for attendants

This should be done in partnership with your groom-to-be.

  • Physical examination

Just like the groom is expected to pay for his pre-wedding physical, the bride should expect to do the same for herself. Not only will this physical exam help guard your future hubbie from STDs, but it might also help discover fertility concerns, amongst other things.

  • Lodging costs for wedding attendants (if it's a destination wedding)

See the section below called "How the Trends are Changing" for more details.

How The Trends are Changing

Today's wedding expenses funded by the bride and groom are changing in several ways.

Since more couples are living together before getting married, pre-marital health checkups are on the decline. Most couples that live together before marriage are already aware of pre-existing diseases and don't have first-time-intercourse questions.

Another trend that impacts wedding expense etiquette is destination weddings. If you're having a destination wedding, you are responsible for the cost of lodging for your wedding attendants. Generally speaking, the groom pays for groomsmen lodging and the bride pays for bridesmaids lodging.

Proper Etiquette for Discussing Wedding Expenses

The most important thing to keep in mind is that communication with one another is key. Both the bride and groom need to be upfront and open about wedding expenses, especially since many of their expenses are shared or similar (gifts for attendants, rings, health exams, etc).

If you are having a destination wedding, it is your responsibility to bring up the topic of who pays for travel expenses with your attendants.

Final Note on Wedding Expense Trends

In today's wedding market, couples are frequently looking to cut wedding expenses. Because of this, some of the expenses paid by the couple are not necessary.

Take a look at the articles below for further reading on the topic:

Comments

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    • The Good Cook profile image

      The Good Cook 

      9 years ago

      Me thinks bad company doth protest too much -- it's probably just wishful thinking!

    • WeddingConsultant profile imageAUTHOR

      WeddingConsultant 

      9 years ago from DC Metro Area

      @SweetiePie- Very true about the STD testing. If sexually active, it's a good idea for someone to do that regularly. And I have not written a hub on having an ultimate honeymoon in Hawaii, but I have written about MY ultimate Hawaiian honeymoon! It's not a how-to guide, but that's a great idea...hmm...

      @JerseyGirl Very true that eloping is much cheaper. And although it would put me out of business, eloping (rather than having full fledged wedding) would save couples much money. Or as badcompany suggested, staying single is even cheaper! Then again, maybe he's single because he's bad company?

    • JerseyGirl profile image

      JerseyGirl 

      9 years ago from Jersey Shore

      Great hub.. but just like I thought 19 years ago.. people should probably elope. I had a full blown wedding and afterwards, stepped backed and exclaimed - "Wow".

      Money, and much money was spent and never even accounted for. In my opinion - when you choose to have a full blown wedding - the $$$ money factor can easily rack up and throw us for a loop when we get back to reality.

      Best to all - Your hub was great. Thanks much for sharing.

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 

      9 years ago from Southern California, USA

      WeddingConsultant,

      My suggestion about those testing for STD's should be to do it way before you even talk about getting married, that way there will be no surprises before you propose.  I know that is not always fesible, but that way at least you know before evening making those plans.

      This is a really great hub and I really like all of your advice here for couples.  Have you written a hub on how to have the ultimate Honeymoon in Hawaii?  If not I think you should, but maybe I am just saying that because I love Hawaii and always want to read about it, especially since I cannot afford to go there right now.

    • WeddingConsultant profile imageAUTHOR

      WeddingConsultant 

      9 years ago from DC Metro Area

      Very true badcompany, it's much cheaper to be single. Unless of course both partners work full time :)

      cindyvine, that's a great question. Certainly the person with the STD should talk with their fiancée about it. Then, whether or not they decide to cancel the wedding/call the engagement off/etc. is totally up to them. I can imagine that would be a very difficult situation for all involved.

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 

      9 years ago from Cape Town

      Just a thought, what happens if you have the blood test and it comes back that you have an STD or AIDS. Do you tell your prospective life partner, would the wedding be canceled?

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