- Gender and Relationships
What A Girl Wants (part-1)
I was on my way to work on Saturday, and I was listening to MC Lyte, a female rapper from the 90's, brag to the world about how she's "gotta what, yo? gotta have a ruff neck!" Now, I don't listen to much rap, but what she was getting at was that she liked a guy who was a bit of a thug, a proverbial bad boy. Poetry to her man included sweet nothings such as, "I need a dude with attitude, who only needs his fingers with his food," and, "makin' noise with the boys up to no good, startin beef is how he spells relief." It was all very touching, but frankly, it sounded like the kind of relationship that ended up in the judicial system, or at the very minimum a clinic where they treat STD's. Still, I was wondering if there were any of these delicate sentiments that I could get behind, and started a conversation about this with the other nurses at the hospital.
I stand 5'5, and though most people regard me to be a pretty tough cookie when I need to be-- they used to call me the mafia wife--physically, I'm really not that strong. The men I've dated, have definitely been more of the sensitive type, but they were also very strong and capable men (for the most part). I'm definitely open-minded, but if at the end of the day, I really believed I could take my man in hand-to-hand combat, we'd probably have problems in our relationship. So the work discussion ensued, and I was surprised at how many nurses (all heterosexual females), who were far more girlie and fragile than I, chimed in with complete agreement about how they too, understood the "ruff neck" concept. The conclusion of that strange, and mildly disturbing conversation was this: while most of us don't want to date a woman-beater, we at least want to know that you are capable of said woman beating.
This conversation made me want to delve further into the topic of relationships for the weekend, and one particular topic that had my interest was the the mystery of the "open relationship." Who are the women that give the green light on the proposition of, "babe, I'd LOVE to be in a 'relationship' with you as long as it involves sleeping with other people?" Does she leap into his arms with you really do care! joy in her heart? Run the idea of an open relationship by the kind of women I know, and we think--open a can of whoop A, open skull, open grave--open the door, and let yourself out. To each his own, we all get to do what we want. But why the label of relationship? Aren't you simply saying I'd like to sleep with you more often than I'd sleep with other people? It is, 'YOU, dear, are my number one...booty call.' Call me a romantic, but I just don't think Shakespeare would have made history with his work if Romeo stood below the balcony crooning, "It is the East, and Juliet, (and three of her friends), are the sun!"
But that's just me.