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What Do You Have in Common With Your Partner?

Updated on November 30, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Marriage and Compromise

How much do you have in common with your partner?

Sometimes you can feel like you are married to a stranger. Marriages don't always turn out the way you expected. The high expectation of a marriage can leave you with an empty heart.

Why do you need to be silent and let him have his word?

It takes two people to work at their marriage and to respect each other. The marriage won't work out if one of you respects the other, while the other has to take your nonsense and is disrespected.

The feeling of walking on egg shells when with your partner is not a marriage. You too need to feel needed and with respect. Feel comfortable around your partner. When the door opens you walk in expecting too much for yourself. Marriage is a way of life.

For example:

A young woman was afraid of her husband. When the front door opened her heart jumped from its place. He walked toward her and starred in her face.

The heavy breathing made the woman feel insecure about his next move toward her. She remained calm and pretended to be fine, and she starred down at the floor. Eye contact was too scary for her.

He did not have the need for her anymore and decided to sleep in the next room.

Does this mean she has failed her man as a wife?

The woman did not utter a word. The first night of their marriage and he decides to sleep in another room. He wants to treat his wife as a wife and not as a prostitute. The different mindset here of the man is to not spend the first night of intimacy on the first night of marriage.

The next morning the young woman made herself ready to make breakfast, and to her surprise her husband was there making breakfast. He made breakfast and served her letting her know she is not a slave but his wife. Little by little she opened up with her husband.

Small discussions got them talking more about each other. She was afraid to open up at first to her husband. The lack of confidence made her feel this way.

Her mother obeyed her father and did not speak up that had a hold on her life for a long time. The life her mother experienced led to this issue in her marriage. He didn't want his wife to feel as a stranger in their marriage. To take his permission if he needed to go out with friends that did not fit in with him.

The woman's childhood memories of her mother and father led her to this strange thoughts in her marriage. In this case, the husband is trying to teach his wife how to live.

The man she married tried his best to make her feel calm and relaxed.

Her parents married her off to a stranger but he no longer felt as that stranger. They dragged each other to bed and consummated their marriage. After four months of marriage finally their marriage felt great.

She had fallen in love with a stranger deeply and promised to be there, for always.

In traditional times the first night of a marriage is to understand each other. Lots have changed and not many follow traditions anymore.

I see it a different way.

It depends on the kind of marriage you want to sign into for your long term relationship. If you want a sexual partner without falling in love with that person then you can have that.

When you choose to marry for love and want to be with that person for love then you can have that kind of marriage.

You can't live your marriage without love in a happy way. The many conflicts you share will ruin you.

In this manner you exist separately and not together forever. A couple can grow to hurt each other emotionally, physically and psychologically. They nag each other, become possessive, violent, oppressive, dominating, and aggressive.

Everybody marries a stranger you don't know your partner right away. It takes forever to get to know what's going on in their minds. Married at first sight is challenging.

How well do they know each other?

What do you have in common with your partner in your marriage?

Life in a marriage all looks nice when you first meet and going through the honeymoon phase. It may feel overwhelming at first but along the way you lose each other to someone else. If you don't lose your partner to someone else you become detached from each other. You tend to lose interest without you even realizing it.

Whether drew you apart from together eventually is not there anymore. You lose focus of your personal lives and that leads you astray. Anything you once had in common you don't see happening in your marriage. The spark is lost and parenting is the only common aspect that is keeping you two together.

A couple married for thirty years and they basically existed. The wife became lonely. Two people held on in their marriage to show others they are still together but, they were not happy.

He had an affair and that experience allowed for them to grow apart. She was hurt emotionally and carried on with her life but without the husband.

You need to do something for yourself and don't waste your life with someone like that. Most people who cheat don't change. If they do change you will not trust so easily again.

Staying together with your partner because of a nice house and that you feel age is a problem you must be joking right!

Why would you feel the need to live that way?

Don't live together because something or someone is keeping you together. You don't need to become depressed, angry and alone for your the sake of your partner. It is easy for you to feel unloved, unneeded, unwanted, but you don't have to go down that lane.

Two people change in their marriage after twenty years together and notice they have nothing in common after five years into that marriage. Finally, these people want to know what is missing in your life.

Do you know what is best for you and your partner?

When did you find out what is best for you in the marriage?

You don't always find a couple with everything in common and still love each other. The idea is to embrace each other's interests. Respect each other's hobbies and be there for each other.

Life is better and interesting if you compromise. Whether you have nothing in common or something in common in your marriage finding love allows you to share your interests. A marriage is challenging do it if you are up for it and can take on a commitment.

It's easy to love one another but are you willing to take the plunge to marry your lifelong partner?

To share common interests with your partner learn more about each other's needs and hobbies. Don't neglect the fact that you can't hold on to only that part of your life in your marriage. There are lots more you can do than to dwell on sharing the same interests.

Do you need to have everything in common to enjoy your life together in a marriage?

Have anything common with your marriage?

Happy Marriages

Marriage and happiness

Would you stay in an unhappy marriage?

See results

© 2016 Devika Primić


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    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      FlourishAnyway It is always a pleasure to read a comment from a friendly community and you are part of that. I appreciate you stopping by.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      2 years ago from USA

      There's no "obey" in my marriage. I'm too strong a woman and expect my husband to see me as an equal who doesn't need to be led. We still have our talents, share values and complement one another well.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Incredible! Glad you came by getting to know more about your partner is a great deal and creeps in naturally. Thank you.

    • peachpurple profile image


      3 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      we only got to know each other these few years. Before that, we married because we had kids, never looked into our commons

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello. ShyronE Shenko thank you for sharing your comment. Blessings to you too.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      3 years ago from Texas

      Devika, thank you for sharing your words of wisdom about love and marriage.

      Blessings my friend

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      rajan jolly thank you for sharing an opinion here I appreciate reading all comments.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Jodah than you for stopping by. I enjoy reading the opinions of others and you shared a valuable comment.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello MarleneB thank you for coming by. I am glad you understand my views here. I agree with you.''I think if we were exactly the same it would be a boring relationship.''

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      3 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Marriage certainly is neither a one sided affair nor a piece of cake. It requires understanding, adjustment and working at it to remain alive.

      A lot of food for thought here in your hub.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Wonderfully wise thoughts here DDE. Marriage is a constant compromise. Often it is between two people who often don't have a lot in common, but they can still make it work by supporting and accepting each others interests and differences. If you aren't willing to keep working on it a marriage won't work. Thanks for sharing.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 

      3 years ago from USA

      You have a real handle on what is is like to be married and you have provided some very helpful tips. My husband and I are complete opposites. It is kind of what adds the spice to our life. I think if we were exactly the same it would be a boring relationship.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      ChitrangadaSharan Thank you for stopping by. A marriage takes two people to hold it together.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi D.A.L. Thank you kindly for sharing what's on your mind I am glad you stopped by.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi AliciaC thank you for sharing your opinion I appreciate it.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Michael-Milec thank you for sharing your opinion on this challenging topic. Hope you having a good day.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      swalia thank you for sharing what's on your mind.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      MsDora thank you kindly for sharing your comment.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      always exploring thank you greatly for stopping by.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Ericdierker thank you for sharing your views here.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Very interesting thoughts on marriage and relationships! Compromise, mutual respect and understanding are the basis for a successful relationships.

      You have made some interesting and thoughtful observations in this hub. An interesting read and thanks!

    • D.A.L. profile image


      3 years ago from Lancashire north west England

      Devika, excellent topic which will bring a diverse range of opinion. You have given some sound advise here. There needs to be respect for each other that is true. However, to go through a marriage without an argument would not be natural , and it is better to get things out in the open rather than to let them fester within. A loveless marriage or a marriage for convenience is no good and I would never live like that. You have dealt with the subject in your unique way well done.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I strongly agree with you that each partner in a marriage must be treated with equal respect. Thanks for sharing the interesting information, Devika.

    • Michael-Milec profile image


      3 years ago

      Very interesting, well written Hub Devika.

      "To merry a lifelong partner ?" Better yes! Subject of marriage is one of the most important and most mysterious subject to deal with. Taking two strangers from different environment is weird enough to expect them know how to live in harmony, mutual respect and "loving each other." It's a day by day, hour buy hour learning process: open to listen to each other, agree on one thing and never argue. ( One can't argue by himself.) The sooner we learn to not respond for ten second, then we are winning... Love is a Hard work. Young couples knowing this, they will survive several of decades, after that they will even think the same...

      Good morning in beautiful Dubrovnik.

    • swalia profile image

      Shaloo Walia 

      3 years ago from India

      Very interesting take on marriage. If you are not happy in a relationship then you should not be in it. Marriage should not be a one-sided effort.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      3 years ago from The Caribbean

      "Life is better and interesting if you compromise." This is so important, Devika. Thank you.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      You gave us much to think about. I would not stay in an unhappy marriage. Many do, especially if the have children. Interesting topic. Thank you...

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Very interesting look at marriage relationships.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi billybuc Thank you for sharing your comment I appreciate you stopping by.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You have the ability to see important truths regarding relationships...thank you for sharing them with us all.


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