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The Evolved of Relationships and Dating

Updated on December 22, 2010

When I was five years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I wrote down "Happy".  They told me I didn't understand the assignment and I told them they didn't understand life. This term has always stuck by me for as long as I can remember. The term itself represents how I feel about relationships and dating in today's society. Relationships and dating have seemed to evolved over the years since I was child.  I remember the old fashioned tingle feeling inside, to butterflies in my stomach, or even falling on my face, or forgetting my name when a boy would walk by. 

These days too many relationships develop into divorces, splitsville, or in many cases they remain single.  For the most part, I find that relationships are not what they are cracked up to be, per say,as our parents, to our grandparents, while I was growing up.  In my younger days, I always thought meeting someone special would make my head "spin" , to giving me that special feeling for the rest of my life, or even goosebumps for that matter.  What I ended up getting instead, was the other party breaking my heart and leaving me on a cliff to fall.  Not a feeling most of us want to endure today at all. 

Being divorced twice myself, I have been through all kinds of turmoil of feelings and emotions when it came to dating and relationships.  I was in my second marriage, abused, mentally, physically, emotionally and verbally.  It left me in a whirlwind of crazy emotions I couldn't understand or feel. I became emotionally numb to my feelings and at times violent towards others.  I wouldn't date men for years because of the "abuse" caused upon me from that marriage.  I always assumed that in today's society I would endure the same mental abuse. I have learned through counseling and support that I am wrong and there are good people out there like myself who want simple things in a relationship.  To experience what we call , true love and to live happily ever after.  I learned from my past and from my mistakes as we all do at times of course.  Most men and women today have come to understand we are not all looking for the same thing , as I when I was searching for love in my days.  I found myself being used, and fooled by most. 

For myself, i will not put myself into that horrific category, because I know what I expect and want into a relationship these days. Millions of us search online these days for true happiness, or try to hard in finding what we want. Some of us have what we call, moral standards, which when I was younger, I was brought up well on that.  I still stand by a great deal of some of my moral standards today.  But have some of us lost touch by our moral standards and values when it comes to relationships?  Most relationships result in the spouse cheating, spliting, to divorce, to even worse case scenerios murder or even suicide sometimes. I see it too many times on the news in most cases the spouse goes "crazy" and kills the entire family, including themselves.  Whatever happened to starting off with "hellos" to asking the opposite sex out on a simple date, to a cup of coffee, has drastically changed over the centuries indeed.

Millions of us are just searching for our "soul mate", and in the end we too many times experience hurt relationships during our lifetime.  We get hurt, stabbed, and abused, feelings crushed, and yet we get back on our feet and continue on to search for that one special person.  Love doesn't come easily for sure.  I should know. I have tried have my life searching for "Mr. Right", when he found me.  Though we have been through thick and thin, to hardship times, and it hasn't been easy in the three years together, we have succeeded through a emotional bond that has kept us together through it all. Many men and women are out to "hurt" another in today's society, and not looking for that commitment. In other cases, most just remain single as they prefer to call it, because they rather not deal with the issues.  I too, have spent several years being single, after my abusive marriage.  It taught myself to "breathe" and a chance to learn about my inner self and to be a better person as well.

Every relationship is not perfect and love itself doesn't happen overnight.  I know for me, love has to come to you. Not the other way around of chasing to find love.  I've failed too many times to be hurt emotionally.  Dating and relationships are not the way they use to be when we were kids, or even when our grandparents were dating.  Time has evolved and so have millions of us too.  Love doesn't come easy, won't happen over night, or even like what you see on a fairy tale dream.  Love will find us, one day.  Patience is a virtue, along with that, love is worth waiting for, for so many of us.  Until then, dating for most ,  will encounter the heartbreaks and pain, we will endure.  They say love is never easy, and love always will cause pain no matter how much you look at it. For me, I still live by my little motto,  of what I wanted to be when I grow up, "Happy".


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