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What I Learned About Great Romantic Relationships

Updated on October 19, 2016
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Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Romantic Moments

A couple sharing a surprise moment
A couple sharing a surprise moment | Source
A romantic moment for two in the beautiful sunset
A romantic moment for two in the beautiful sunset | Source
A wonderful  moment!
A wonderful moment! | Source
Be yourself!
Be yourself! | Source
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Romantic Love

The Different Styles of Love

I believe that romantic love is the source of the most intense light that life has to offer.

It is so easy to fall in love.

Myths still exist about the nature of Romantic love.

  • The Three Beneficial Common Misconceptions about Romantic Love

Love can only be experienced in a heterosexual relationship.

Romantic beliefs are similar in all historical periods.

All cultures view love in the same way.

Myth One

True romantic love is exclusively heterosexual.

Myth Two

Historical beliefs about romance are unchanging.

Another common misconception about love, it has an unchanging nature, from one historical epoch to another.

Westernized people do believe that love can be found in all recorded time periods.

Myth Three

Cultural views of romance are unchanging.

Most people view love as a positive experience, and others view love as a down side of their culture, for example Chinese are pessimistic about romantic love.

To them Love is looked at as sadness sorrow and pain.

I say there is only one happiness in life that is to love and be loved.

Initial Romantic Encounters are often Ambiguous

Although cultural differences exist concerning the nature of romantic love, one quality of romance is universal.

When two people who are potential romantic partners meet for the first time their social reality is often ambiguous one of them develop an interest in the other without knowing whether it will be reciprocated.

  • The Distress of Unrequited Love

Loving someone who doesn't love you or being loved but not returning the love occurs much more frequently than reciprocated love.

It not surprising that people with an anxious-ambivalent attachment style are the most likely to be the victims of Unrequited Love.

If you love someone who doesn't love you back is like shaking a tree to make the dewdrops fall.

  • If you have no love how can there be any pleasures in your life?

Different Types of Romantic Love

What does Love feel like?

How do you experience love?

The seven distinct kinds of love made up of different combinations and proportions of these components.

Liking

An experience of intimacy without passion and commitment, more of a friendship.

Infatuated love

Here you have passion without intimacy and commitment something called puppy love.

Empty love

A commitment without passion and intimacy, just like stagnant marriage.

Romantic love

One experiences passion and intimacy but without commitment, as the extramarital affairs.

Companionate love

A love about intimacy and commitment but without passion.

For example, many long-term happy marriages.

Fatuous love

Passion and commitment without intimacy love at first sight gives you that experience.

Consummate love

Intimacy, passion, and commitment good luck on this one!

The Three Primary Styles of Love

Eros

passionate love

Ludus

game-playing love

Storge

Friendship love

These are added to the liking of three primary colors, of red, blue and yellow.

The Three Primary Styles of love can be combined with the Secondary Love Styles

Pragma

Pragmatic love which contains storge and ludus elements.

Mania

Possessive love, which is a compound of eros, ludus and agape, an altruistic love which combines elements of eros and storge.

All of the different love styles are equally valid ways of loving and thus one can have a relationship that is tense and passionate, eros. Something that develops or that starts as a friendship and slowly leads to a lasting commitment, Storge.

People can experience many different kinds of love during their lives.

  • Six Basic Styles of Love

Eros

An immediate attraction to one another, after your first meeting.

Lovemaking is intense and satisfying

Your lover fits the ideal standards of physical beauty and handsomeness.

Ludus

Try to keep your lover a little uncertain about your commitment to them.

Sometimes you had to keep two lovers from finding out about each other.

You enjoy playing the game of love, with many different partners.

Storge

It is hard to say when you and your lover will fall in love, as your friendship merged gradually into love.

Love is really a deep friendship not a mysterious mystical emotion.

The most satisfying love relationships have developed from good friendships.

Pragma

You consider what a person is going to become in life before committing yourself to them.

In pragmatic you try to plan your life carefully before choosing a lover.

A main consideration in choosing a lover is how your partner reflects on your family.

Mania

Sometimes you get so excited about being in love that you can't sleep.

When you are in love the individual has problems thinking of anything else.

If your lover ignores you for a while you sometimes do stupid things to get their attention.

Agape

You would rather suffer yourself than to let your lover suffer.

It is not your place to be happy before your lover has found happiness.

You would endure all things for the sake of your lover.

Passionate Love is Most Intense Early in a Relationship

It is the last and first thing on your mind. A state of intense longing for union with another.

A type of love that one feels with their bodies a warm tingling, body rush, stomach-in-a-knot kind of love.

Passionate love is experienced most intensely during the first romantic encounters, due to a rather interesting transference of arousal from one stimulus to another.

Most Individuals don't believe in love until they have their first attack.

Companionate Love is more stable and enduring than Passionate Love.

A kind of love that exists between lovers, and close friends. It develops out of a sense of certainty, in one another's love and respect, and a feeling of genuine mutual understanding.

The other difference between Passionate Love and Companionate love is the beliefs that one has about their partner.

In the early stages of romantic relationships, when passions run high lovers tend to see their partners, through arose colored glasses. Their partners are just perfect, the ideal partner for you, a dream come true. As passion fades couples develop.

Companionate Love based on mutual understanding this idealization of one beloved often gives way to a more realistic view.

Companionate Love is more reality based love, successful and happy romantic partners are those who tend to see each other's imperfections in the best possible light.

Love and relationships can be challenging but it also depends on what you really searching for in life.

A relationship can work out if you grow old together in experiencing life's great adventures. You can break up once you realize that the understanding of one another is not working out.

If you are not on the same page things can become stressful. The lack of confidence can make you feel lonely or disappointed.

If you are looking for a romantic relationship you will get what you deserve.

Love is important in every relationship without love you don't have much.

One can only have what they choose and if you don't choose correctly life can be more than complicated. Not every choice can be the right one, so don't look at yourself as a failure just don't give up on trying for love.

Finding love in the different styles is not easy. May be you already have love in some of the above styles as I have mentioned,

If you can hold on to love you are lucky to have it be happy, appreciate love and happiness.

Do you think Love is worth waiting for?

How many of you are still waiting to share your love with someone special?

True Romantic Relationships

What have you discovered in Romantic Relationships?

See results

Write down your thoughts

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© 2013 Devika Primić

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    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Au fait so right on love also has many emotions and without love one will never know the wonder of life thanks so much for commenting have good weekend

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 3 years ago from North Texas

      As always, lots of food for thought. Never hurts to cogitate on exactly what love means to oneself and what are the most important points. What kind of love is the most satisfying. The answers differ with different people.

    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thanks stricktlydatingnice glad you stopped by have good day

    • stricktlydating profile image

      StricktlyDating 4 years ago from Australia

      so true! And a great read.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      AmandaJon thanks for all the votes, and for sharing this hub glad you stopped by have a nice day.

    • AmandaJon profile image

      Amanda Jones 4 years ago

      DDE, great Hub! Voted up, interesting, useful, awesome and shared.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thanks so glad to see you stop by have a lovely weekend.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 4 years ago from United States

      Love defined in so many ways made for a very interesting hub. Well done.

    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Mhatter99 thanks for sharing your thoughts

    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Valleypoet thanks for taking the time and commenting have a good weekend

    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      mylindaelliott thanks for commenting have a nice day

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Learning about Arlene was my romance.

    • profile image

      Valleypoet 4 years ago

      I think it is important to accept that there will be inevitable stages to pass through when you love someone...and that this is natural....interesting hub DDE...thank you :-))

    • mylindaelliott profile image

      mylindaelliott 4 years ago from Louisiana

      Very nice hub, it's so helpful to people to understand the different types of love. It helps them know what part/stage they are in.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      kidscrafts thanks for your continuous support so appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts here enjoy the weekend do what makes you happy

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 4 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      Great hub, DDE!

      I think that for love to stay between two people you have to nuture it and evolve together. The definition of love depend of the culture .... I think.... and also what you are ready to give as an individual.

      It's a complicated subjet and an interesting one to have as a group discussion; I am sure the number of definition might be equal to the number of participants ;-)

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject, DDE!

      Enjoy your weekend!

    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      tillsontitan, thanks for the vote up useful and interesting I am so glad you stopped by and commented. Have a lovely day.

    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      ChitrangadaSharan, thanks for commenting appreciate your thoughts

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Oh dear, so many thoughts! So, at this stage of the game I fall under Eros, Passionate and Compassionate....my hope for others is the same. No matter how long you are married if you don't have all three, your marriage or your partner will stagnate.

      This hub is full of wisdom DDE and well done.

      Voted up, useful, and interesting.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Interesting hub! So many ways to define love---Interesting and unique article.

      Thanks!