What They Don't Tell You about Long-Distance Relationships
Long-distance relationships suck. It's high time that someone is honest about that. It's taboo to say because what you're "supposed" to say is that long-distance relationships are more romantic than others and mean your love is stronger than others because it can withstand such an obstacle. Newsflash: Distance doesn't automatically make a love stronger or a connection deeper. On the contrary, it has the possiblity of doing quite the opposite. It can make a love that was once so sweet taste rather bitter-This is reality. We know that any relationship involves risk and removing such a significant aspect as proximity makes the gamble even higher. However, I do not mean to imply at all that long-distance relationships are doomed or cannot be as happy or even happier than a relationship that has the luxury of physical togetherness. No, I fully believe in love in all situations and I always will. I'm simply stating that the preconceived notions that: 1. Long-distance relationships are easy as long as you really love each other. 2. They are suitable for everyone and can survive on mere love and willpower for an indefinite amount of time, regardless of the resolve and disposition of the two persons involved. The sad truth is that long distance is not for everyone and that's okay. I'm sure that most people in a long distance relationship can tell you that. But they'll also tell you that for those who can manage it, it creates such a beautiful, invigorating, and solid love.
1. Unrequited Touchiness
There is a popular theory that everyone gives and receives love in a combination of 5 Love Languages. These include: Words of Affirmation, Giving Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service, and...(drum roll please) Physical Touch! Go take the quiz- it's fun! Anyway, the top two for each person are the ones that matter most because if they aren't present in the relationship, you or your partner may eventually feel unfulfilled. That's not for lack of trying, however. For example, someone who loves and values Quality Time may give their partner all the conversation time they have, unknowing of the fact that their partner mainly feels love through Physical Touch. Unfortunately, this happened to my other and I. He and I talk all the time over Skype and he feels very satisfied and happy with our relationship. On the other hand, I was over here dying to be held or even just be near him. Long-distance relationships are not easy for anyone, but I honestly believe they are a little extra difficult for those who mainly show love through touch because the other four languages can be communicated over the chasm of distance. Sometimes, we feel like we're almost cheated out of a full relationship because we're not allowed to express our affection in the best way we know how. I believe that for all Love Language types, there will be moments when you miss your love so much that it physically hurts-this is the reality of long-distance relationships and it can be EXTREMELY hard. However, all hope is not lost. I can honestly say that, over time, the struggle does get easier and each person's love languages adjust accordingly. The longer you are in the long-distance relationship, the more you get used to the idea and accept the situation (even though you may not like it). It is true that if you really are that dedicated to your S.O., you will learn to cope-it's not a matter of if but simply when.
2. It's the Very Little Things
One thing you learn shortly after getting into a long-distance relationship is that the miniscule, mundane aspects of everyday life become incredibly interesting. Since you're not there to see what happens in the life of your loved one, you'll want to know every little detail of their day so you can picture it as best you can. You want to be involved in their life as much as possible from what feels like millions of miles away and the way to do that is to share the little things that most regular couples might take for granted. A few examples: what happened in class today. If they're wearing the sweater you got them,if any girls have been flirting with him, what she ate for lunch. These things become of the upmost importance because the more you're able to see what they see, the more you feel like you're actually there. And that is such a beautiful thing..
3. That Green Thingy
Jealousy. Naturally, some vultures will insert themselves into your significant other's life. I mean, why wouldn't they? Your S.O. is the most attractive person ever and they have the character( and face) of an angel. It can be extremely difficult not being there to talk with these parasites and put them in their place. All your eggs are in the basket and you really have no choice but to fully trust your significant other to let everyone know they're in a loving, committed relationship. And you do. Because you know they will.
4. The 9 to 5
I don't need to tell you that long-distance relationships take extra work. You have to put in the effort in order to keep every kog well-oiled and working properly. This means being purposeful about sticking to the preset communication plans you've committed to. And being understanding when you're partner is unable to keep up for a day or two. You have to get creative in long-distance relationships in order to keep them interesting. This is a challenge but it's also fun. There are plenty of websites that provide enjoyable ideas for keeping your distant partner close. For example,you can watch movies at the exact same time and hear each other's reactions which, for some reason, makes you feel really close. Also, there's all types of nifty gadgets they've made for the stalker-types in long-distance relationships (me). For example, they make pillows that light up when you and your love lay down on them at the same time. My boyfriend and I are going to do this...he just doesn't know it yet. Seriously though, both parties have to be determined to not only find new things but make an effort to incorporate them into the relationship.
Roll Them Credits
Now that we've covered everything you need to know about long distance relationships...just kidding. That's the beautiful thing about long-distance relationships-there's always something new to learn. Each one is uniquely crafted by the two involved and only they have the choice to either make it a chore or a challenge that can be overcome. Now, I know you must be eager to sign up for a long-distance relationship. And if you feel like you're ready, go for it. I have to be honest- the road is very hard and unclear, but if you stick it out, you will find the Truest Love at the end.