- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
What To Do After A Break-up
You Don't Have to Stay Broken
One is lucky to live long enough in this world and never suffer a hearbreak. Now that i'm much older, i can say that many of the heartaches i went through were actually good for me. No, i didn't think so at the time they were of course happening. I have felt brokeness to a point when i really thought life was over and that the world actually stopped. Yes, i was silly too, and i learned there is life after, and i did survive the worst of each one. But, break-ups do happen for such is our portion as mortals. Don't worry, if it does happen, it's not over. In fact, it's the beginning.
Perhaps, the only time a break up can be considered one good clean break is when both partners have deliberated, intelligently, to end a relationship that is no longer tenable. But, that's the ideal and not reality. Truly, how can it be that cut and dry when it comes to matters of the heart? No way. More often, for us emotional creatures, breaking up, cutting loose or giving up someone we loved is, if not painful, can be quite traumatic. I know, it was for me.
No matter the reason a relationship ended, accepting the reality that it's over is the first step. Now for those in denial, it will be much tougher. Most of us know just too well, that we will deal with the agony of the hurt, sadness and anger that comes with the territory.
Releasing these emotions and feelings will be our very catharsis. So, let it out, be it alone in your bedroom, or with your best friend. Say what you need to say, just get it off your chest. But, refuse the melodrama of overdoing a process that will play-out on it;s own. Don't try to get your ex's attention with antics that will only turn him or her off more. Give yourself dignity, and gain more respect.
Understand that you will go through a 'withdrawal', which is normal. Its' almost like giving up smoking or an addiction. You may need help, a distraction so you don't go nuts, like some do.
Find healing. To be able to move forward, mend. Pull yourself together and find strength you may not even think you have and seek Divine help, which will surprise you.
A break up does not have to break you and your spirit. One relationship that didn't work does not determine what your future will be like, with a new one. So, remain hopeful.
Learn from your past. Reflect why things didn't work. Then be better for it. If you learn your lessons, it is more likely you will make a better partner when the new one walks into your life.
At the end of the day, once you've recovered, you may realize that what happened was best for you. It's often the case that the relationship you lost was never meant to be.