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What To Talk About On The First (Speed) Date

Updated on April 4, 2011

Okay, you’re sitting across from a beautiful woman and...nothing. She’s looking at you expectantly, and you can’t think of a thing to say. Well, don’t worry - just follow these simple instructions, and she’ll be (metaphorically) eating out of your hand!

When you’re speeddating, you don’t have a lot of time to make a great impression - but that’s what makes it so much easier than a conventional date. As soon as you’re both seated, smile at the girl, tell her your name and where you’re from. Then, ask her those questions about herself. And there you have it - just ask a lot of questions, and you’ll have her talking a lot about herself. This is great for two reasons - first, you’ll get some info on her (even if she’s embellishing, you’ll get an idea what she’s into), and second, she’ll think you’re a great conversationalist. Why? Because people love to talk about themselves, that’s why.

What not to talk about on a speed date? Or any first date? Sex. Yes, we know you’re thinking about it, and we may be thinking about it too, but we’re not thinking about it happening the second we meet you. Even if you’re super-hot. Well, maybe then. But we’re still not going to really do it. Okay, most of us are not going to really do it. But no matter what, we don’t want to feel like you only want us for sex. Not if we took the time to get ready and show up for speeddating. We want to meet a cool guy. Who, you know, maybe wants to actually talk to us.

Now you can talk about her appearance, but of course only in a good way and only to a certain extent. “That’s a beautiful blouse on you” is great; “Your chest looks great in that blouse” is a definite no-no. If you want to compliment her but you’re afraid it will sound too much like a hackneyed pick-up line, then put your own unique spin on it. Something like “I’m sure everybody’s always telling you this, but I just have to say you have beautiful eyes.” No woman will mind that. Or, “I assume with your looks you don’t exactly have a problem attracting men”. The bottom line is, women just love compliments. We just don’t want to feel manipulated.

So take this advice, take a deep breath, and put yourself out there - hopefully you'll be talking to a great woman very soon. 


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