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What Went Wrong: The Eternal Questions Answered

Updated on June 2, 2015

From dating to relationships, to marriage to break-up, guys usually ask same kinds of questions.

I call those questions the eternal questions. Today we're going to answer them.

If you have an eternal question, today is the day when you shall receive eternal answers.

1. When is the right time to sleep with your partner?

Anytime!

The most tragic question you can ask a woman is whether she wants to have a good time; "should we have it?", "Are you ready for it?", "When are we going to..?" Etc.

Nature is what derive feelings, let it flow at the natural pace. Do not allow the intellects to ruin the excitements of romance. Do not push yourself to it. Do not surprise your partner (or she may surprise you with pregnancy).

Let your bodies decide what they do. You only discuss when you want to have a child, how many and when to stop, not when to have a good time.

2. How do I know it's time to break up?

You just feel it!

You know exactly when to breakup WHEN you stop listening to your friends and decide for yourself.

You know exactly when to break up WHEN you become realistic of what you want and what you'll not get in a relationship.

The answer is clear:

In the process of dating, you need to acknowledge the fact that you must either marry or breakup. When you don't feel like you want to marry but you can't marry her, it's time to break up.

When you can't find happiness in a relationship, never ever speculate about anything, JUST break up. Test the waters and learn from experience.

3. What do I do when she gets pregnant and we didn't plan it?

...and that's a big question.

First you need to ask these 3 questions: can I marry this woman? Can we take care of the child? What impact does a child makes to my career and business?

While getting rid of the child is never the best, or even a good option, learning to cope with a situation is more important than worrying.

Don't jump into marriage or even break up. Instead, as a man, start looking for creative ways to support the coming child. Forget about shame and what people might say. We're not living in the 60s. What matters is what you think and do for yourself, not what people say.

You decide your life just the way it turns out. Be determined and supportive.

If the mother of your child (your girlfriend) would understand, you don't have to even rush into marriage. Live like you're single and continue dating. Let time and feelings decide whether you want to marry her or not.

Furthermore, let's look at these confusions:

*. If she wants to get rid of it and you don't.

Expose her to the truth about the risk there is. Convince her of a happy continuance by assuring her that you'll never leave her with the child alone. Listen to her fears, and make sure her insecurities are served.

*. If you want her to get rid of it and she don't

She loves the child and don't want the memory to haunt her thoughts. Be realistic of each and every decision you take. You're now an adult and having a child might not hurt as losing your sanity.

*. If you both don't want to get rid of it but your families do

Family pressures are always very strong and highly influential. I'm sure you're in love before you get together, and now that you've decided to keep the child, let your assertion be built on the ground of love and no family pressure can overcome that. Let them understand that this happening in the 2000s is not the same as in the 90s. Be clear about your future and how every decision you make matters. It's your life to live and your opinion is the most important.

Next question…

4. Why her mood changed?

First off, no guesswork becomes successful in answering mood changes in women. Instead of battling with the mood itself, look deep into her heart. The bad mood is a symptom of an emotional disease, which can only be cured through proper investigation, examination and medication.

Find the reason. Unless you're dating a woman for the first time, the reason is always obvious. But you have to ask. If you've been with several women, the reason might be definite, as long as most women have similar reason to swing moods. But if you're dating for the first time and have no clue about the reason why she just changed at once, and still don't want to ask, it's time to reflect back.

First you need to determine whether the problem is hers or yours, considering what happened before the sudden mood change. If it's hers, you need to approach her as a helper, for she might be suffering from some emotional issues and experience mood swings randomly. If not, call her and ask.

5. When should you call her after an argument?

Call her the next morning. Or don't call her!

If you've never argued this way, wait for the next 3 hours and call. Calling her immediately is never the best. If she doesn't want to talk, don't talk, till she recovers. If she continues, forget about her.

6. When and how to get out of the friend zone?

You're still in the friend zone because you never made an attempt to get out. It's not captivity. It's a matter of choice, decision and action.

The time: whenever you feel like you should be more than friends.

Make yourself a bit of a lover and cross the line. Expect anything. You might be rejected, accept it. You might be accepted, use it.

7. Why don't I enjoy long-term relationship?

The answer is simple and definite: speculation. The more you speculate about a relationship, yourself or your partner, the more everything becomes groundless and unpleasant.

Perfection is not what you need, it's maturity. And when you have that and still not happy, that means you're still a searcher. Keep searching or wait for time.

8. When will she pop the question?

Waiting for her to pop the "will you marry me" might be as hectic as waiting for the fish to start walking on dry land.

No, I don't mean to discourage the modern way of love and commitment. All I'm trying to say as an answer is, you haven't require her to do that. If you're sure you're doing the best in becoming a husband material, just be patient, she'll soon pop the question.

What Went Wrong

Staying Focused On the Straight and Narrow

There's nothing like extraordinary people, only extraordinary desires, purposes, dreams and goals. Extraordinary people can easily create the change they want in their world and the world around them. They know the importance of the power they have within. They are aware of the energy anybody can unleash and achieve his heart desires.

It's a huge record, to become an extraordinaire in your own field, which is possible only through focus...an extraordinary action. Focus is a skill to be achieved through the accumulation of knowledge and daily practice, with the need of the application of some important personality traits. Your character towards a goal, cause or action determines the output.

1. Get physically organized. Regardless where you are or what you do, having a clean and well-kept environment provides a higher level of mental relaxation, which always accounts to long-term focus and successful pursuit of goals and dreams. An organized mind requires an organized environment. Learn organizational skills for the importance of multitasking. Thus you can be able the get the best out of small effort and in a very short time.

2. Get it on paper. Write down your to-do list, and include the time for each task. Develop self-discipline to perform each task according to time limits. Self-discipline is an important trait to be adopted permanently in the journey of success. It will help you to be consistent and never to stop halfway while digging your desired gold. While writing your list, do not forget to include a refreshing time, when you can regain energy before you go back to the field. Number your list and set the

3. Know your priority. Understand the primary and secondary daily needs. Start with the most important according to your ability. You might be doing the right thing at a wrong time or the wrong thing at a right time. You need to understand what deserves your attention in what time and for which reason. Huge numbers of people around the world suffer failure as a result of lack of right priorities. The only thing that will determine your success in the long run is how much time you spend in doing what matters. Spend less time in pursuing what don’t really matter and invest more time on what matter.

4. Employ the Wise time management practice. Know when you need a helping hand and when you don't need to do anything. There’s a period, an instance, where the only option you have is to relax and reflect. This is a very important time for going into detailed analysis of your weaknesses, strengths and achievements. Read books about time management and be serious about acquiring concepts.

5. Always make time for breaks between tasks. 5 to 10 minutes break, just watching the sun, improves your mental focus. Never relent to enjoy the pleasure life offers to you while travelling. The essence of success is satisfaction. You can drive pleasure when you love your work and have success, but the real satisfaction when you reward yourself for every breakthrough you’ve made.

6. Stay motivated by finding your purpose. The primary purpose of living is discoverable through proper self-actualization. That thing you love doing influences your interest, a natural motivating task. The gas you need in power your motivation into achieving bigger things, and the accomplishment of a long-term goal is your purpose. Do not start a business because your friend is succeeding through it. First, look for a purpose, a genuine reason to pursue a goal. Whenever you feel demotivated, the knowledge of your purpose will bring back the passion as a driving force to your destiny.

7. Discover your goals. Look closely, the need for dreams and goals, and you shall find a reason to be focused. Set short-term and long-term goals and follow them with passion. A dream is lost when passion is lost, and this means you are no longer doing what's relevant to your purpose. Adjust, and re-adjust 'til you find a favourable passionate spot. Pick a little goal and pursue it until it’s done. Be a finisher of your own ways. Once you become used to finishing tasks, leaving a task unfinished (due to loss of focus) will become almost impossible to you.

8. Learn proper affirmative practice of focus. Create a positive assertion about the definiteness of your success. Talk to yourself about the solution of your problems with a sureness that you can do it. Place that writing on your wall where you can see it every morning you wake up. If focus is your weakness, tell yourself about your strength in overcoming distractions.

9. Read more books! Reading needs focus. Good readers find it easier to stay focused for a longer period than non-readers. So learn to improve your reading skills as you improve your focusing skill overtime.

10. Liberate yourself from the spirit of procrastination by first, overcoming perfectionism. You're not lazy, but perfectionism does more harm to your focus than laziness.

11. Reduce multi-tasking to a possible minimum. Doing several irrelevant and unrelated tasks at a time does not only stagger your focus, but stunts the quality of your productivity. So, just do that one thing, only it, until it's complete.

12. Avoid distractions. If you can isolate yourself, never do that thing in a crowded setting, in order to maintain your focus.

13. Reduce the intake of caffeinated drinks. While taking a little can improve your alertness, take too much and you'll find yourself jittering.

14. Stay hydrated by improving your fluid intake. Hydration improves blood flow to the brain, which means increased brain power and better thinking process.

15. Envy no one but live to appreciate what you are learning from those that succeed. The envious are the weakest. Be the strongest, with a determination of positivity, and a goal of purpose.

16. Exercise your willpower, just the way you exercise your muscle. The stronger it becomes, the focused you become.

Acknowledge the fact that thoughts are to be controlled. Imagine yourself being in control of your thoughts, then live to see the physical manifestation of your desire.

Comments

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    • mayjdy profile imageAUTHOR

      Joshua D. Yahaya 

      3 years ago from Nigeria

      Exactly true. Our attitude matters a lot when it comes to making things right.

    • maramerce profile image

      maramerce 

      3 years ago from United States

      Everything goes wrong in life eventually. You find a way to get on with it anyway.

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