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What Women Want

Updated on November 28, 2010

Let me start by saying what this list is not: It isn’t a list of the obvious. Yes, we want you to have a job, a conscience and some degree of intelligence. We want you to be sane, drug and disease free. We want you to be emotionally stable and have a clue about commitment and faithfulness. These are things we want, but they should be a given and can usually be found with a bit of effort.

This, is a list of qualities which are actually fairly difficult to find all in one man. Qualities that will quickly turn you into the man of any woman’s dreams, if she has a chance to see them for herself. Obviously the list can be expounded upon, but I believe there are 5 things which all women want, and other things may vary. That’s not to say women won’t settle for something less…. we almost always have to, lest we be single forever. But if we had a choice, we would want these qualities in a man.


You don’t need to be Romeo, and you don’t need to bring us flowers every day – that’s romance, and while it’s related to the same subject, it is not synonymous with passion. Passion is how much you want us, and we want that to be a lot. We want you to kiss us and do all manner of naughty things in such a way that shows us how gorgeous, sexy and infinitely desirable you find us to be. If we don’t see passion in the bedroom, it’s unlikely we’re going to want to spend much time in there with you.

Quiet Confidence

Weakness is not a masculine trait, and it’s not something women find desirable, unless the woman is emotionally damaged. You’re the man, you’re supposed to be the leader, if only symbolically. Conversely, barking orders and being rude are equally off-putting. What we like most, is a confident man who doesn’t need to run around proving himself all the time. You should be able to lead, and do so primarily by example.

Bedroom skills

Don’t confuse this with passion – they go hand in hand, but are not the same thing. And don’t get bent out of shape about this one either. It's remarkably easy for men to have a good time in bed, you’re pretty much touch and go. Literally. We, on the other hand, require some skill and some effort. Also, we don’t really want to teach you, because that tends to ruin the mood, and that’s never fun. Fortunately for you, there are loads of internet sites and magazines dedicated to teaching you how to be naughty. Some even have photos. Go ahead and start Googling.


A man who does things for others without thinking of himself is a sexy, sexy thing. I’m also going to toss generosity and general helpfulness in here as well. No, not generous as in ‘honey would you buy me those earrings?’ Generous with your time and kindness, as in, stopping to help the little old lady onto the bus, or carry her groceries to her car, or even up to her flat. I do these things for people I do not know – there’s no reason a man can’t do the same. If you’re not made that way, you’re probably not made very well.


This is so incredibly important. I’m not saying you need to be Job here, but unless you’re involved with an alien female, you’re going to see some inexplicable drama at some point in your relationship. I’d explain, but I can’t imagine anyone reading this has never encountered a woman in a panicky, emotional fit about the state of her meatloaf or the color of the new wallpaper. We aren’t trying to freak you out, we’re just temporarily giving in to the hormones we battle with every day (if you only knew how crazy we could really be!) Also, I hate to say it, but this gets worse with age. Start practicing your patience now… you should be aiming for something that makes it look like you’re empathizing (not just listening!), when you're really just watching the game.


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