What are the Top 5 Characteristics of a Good Boyfriend?
Good boyfriends are hard to come by so if you think you may have found one, you'll want to consider doing whatever you have to in order to hold onto him. I'm partly kidding of course - there's no sense in holding on to even the best of boyfriends if you just don't feel that spark.
That being said, a good boyfriend who gives you that tingly feeling us women crave is definitely a boyfriend you'll want to keep. While a lot of people will try to tell you that "you'll just know" when you've found the right one, I'm convinced that it's rarely if ever that simple. Nobody is perfect and that can be a hard thing to come to terms with when you're out there looking for the guy of your dreams. So while the perfect boyfriend just doesn't exist, if you're lucky enough, you might find yourself a good one.
Here is my version of the Top 5 Characteristics of a Good Boyfriend. Does your boyfriend measure up?
1. He's a Good Communicator
Without good communication, your relationship will eventually break down even if it is hot and heavy in the beginning. Life is complicated and in order to live through the complexities together, you must be able to communicate with one another. Therefore, good communication skills is something to look for in a boyfriend - sometimes I think it is the most imortant thing.
The two main components of communication are of course speaking and listening. Let's briefly take a look at how a good boyfriend carries these out:
- Speaking: He doesn't make you read his mind. He is able to express to you things that are important in a way you can understand them such as that he loves you and that he might be late for dinner tonight but will make it up to you tomorrow. He should be able to let you know when something is bothering him. He should be able to speak to you in a way that is gentle, that is respectful of your feelings. It's definitely a bonus if he has a sexy voice, too.
- Listening: Even more important than speaking is listening. To me, there is nothing more romantic than a guy who really knows how to listen to me. It makes me feel heard, understood, validated. Listening is not just about sitting there and keeping quiet while someone else speaks. A guy who knows how to listen with his eyes - who can gaze into my eyes while I am saying something important to me - well, I don't know about you but I'm sold.
2. He Likes What You Like
The saying goes that "opposites attract but they don't stay together" and I think it is true. A good boyfriend is one who has stuff in common with you but not so much that you and him might as well be the same person because that gets boring.
It's important to share similar interests because you have to spend your time with him somehow and it's better if it's engaging in activities you both like (get your mind out of the gutter although that counts too). Examples of similar interests might include travelling, watching movies, going for walks, etc. When you're on the same page as far as interests and hobbies go, it often has the added benefit of making communication flow more effortlessly which is always a good thing.
3. He's romantic and does nice things for you
I never used to think that a boyfriend who does nice things is necessarily being romantic but I have come to change my views on what romance actually is. For example, a guy who is willing to do my laundry and put it away for me, or a guy who will cook for me and clean up afterwards - well, these are definitely nice things which I now view as romantic too and I think it's because I am getting older.
On the other hand, a good boyfriend in my opinion knows how to be truly romantic sometimes too in the old fashioned sense of the word. Maybe it's the way he holds your hand, rubs your shoulders after work, buys you your favorite chocolate or ice cream when you're sad, or maybe he's a Shakespeare and knows how to write for you. These things are traditionally romantic and what girl who's being really honest doesn't want them for herself?
4. He can cheer you up when you're sad
A good boyfriend can sense when you're down and is connected to you well enough to be able to cheer you up or at least make you feel that he is there for you. Maybe he buys you that favorite ice cream again or maybe he just gives you the biggest sweetest hug and listens to your problem.
A funny boyfriend is a great kind of boyfriend to have because when you are having a bad day, he knows how to turn that frown upside down. I can't imagine being with a guy who doesn't know how to make me laugh!
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5. He's Attractive...
Well, at least to you. While it's a wonderful ideal to say that looks don't matter, it's just simply not true. Your boyfriend doesn't need to be attractive to everyone else a la Brad Pitt (I don't see what the big deal is!) but there needs to be something physical - anything - that gives you those goosebumps.
I am a sucker for a nice smile and nice eyes and no, that is not unique. Sometimes there is just something about a guy's mannerisms, too - the way he walks, the way he carries himself, the cute facial expressions he makes - that absolutely draws you to him. In order to be a good boyfriend, you need to find him attractive in some way... it is part of having that chemistry together and as I said in the beginning, if there is no spark, there is no point.