ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

What are you Really saying?

Updated on August 9, 2009

No, really, I painted this.

Is it me?
Is it me?

Oh Really?

When you go to the grocery store in 5 inch heals and short shorts, you may be saying: 1) I just stopped in for condoms on my way to my other job. 2) Its wash day and everything else is dirty. 3) I have high arches and I’m looking to marry a doctor.

When Hillary Clinton went to Africa and dance after her meeting, she might have been saying: 1) I want to be as popular as my husband. 2) After a few drinks, I feel like a teenager. 3) If Bush can do it, so can I.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WO4UMMpJTk

(Hillary)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLYyMJ6XY6U

(Bush)

When you come home late from work and your dog doesn’t meet you at the door, he may be saying: 1) You’re late, I pooped on the carpet. 2) You came home empty handed, no treats? 3) A dog isn’t really man’s best friend.

When you invite your girlfriend for lunch and you offer to pay and she only orders a salad and a glass of water, she may be saying: 1) You look great, I need to loose some weight. 2) I know you’re cheap, so I won’t embarrass you. 3) I have a double fudge cake with chocolate icing waiting for me at home.

When your boss sends you an e-mail and wants you in his office at 3pm, sharp, he may be saying: 1) You have done such a great job, I’m giving you a promotion and a raise. 2) You’re doing such a fine job, and I’m so lazy, that I’m having you write my 5 reports for me. 3) You are doing such a fine job, I want to give you this note, yeah, it’s pink, nothing personal, but what the heck, it was nice knowing you.

The Avatars we use in our Hub profiles says a lot too.

When you use a picture of Brad Pitt, you might be saying: 1) I’m a short 500 pound guy who lives in my mothers’ basement. 2) My teeth are too yellow to use my own picture. 3) I can pretend I’m cool, smart and sexy, maybe I’ll get more fan mail.

When you use a half dressed woman with big Hoo-Hoos, you may be saying: 1) No one ever looks me in the eyes anyway, might as well make use of them. 2) I wish I had enough money to get implants. 3) Who need brains with a chest like this.

And finally, I changed my Avatar picture because: 1) I died my hair and it turned green. 2) The relocation program isn’t working. 3) I can lie about my age now.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • jiberish profile imageAUTHOR

      jiberish 

      9 years ago from florida

      BJC, back at you!

    • BJC profile image

      BJC 

      9 years ago from Florida

      You are awesome!! Love your writing and enjoy seeing you in the forums.

      Yes, you can come over for coffee anytime!

    • jiberish profile imageAUTHOR

      jiberish 

      9 years ago from florida

      Thank you for noticing. It's a close up, it does not mean anything,it was taken from an actually photo of a zebra at the New York Zoo.

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 

      9 years ago from malang-indonesia

      nice painting,I like art. I like painting also. But with my activities in teaching, I stop this hobby. I this pianting looks simple, but there is a meaning behind it. By the way, what does it mean? just only zebra or something.

    • jiberish profile imageAUTHOR

      jiberish 

      9 years ago from florida

      It's for sale!

    • awsydney profile image

      awsydney 

      9 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      This painting will go well with a modern zebra rug I have in my guest room. :) Well done.

    • jiberish profile imageAUTHOR

      jiberish 

      9 years ago from florida

      I'll make another soon. Thank you.

    • profile image

      Penelope 

      9 years ago

      That is so fun. I wish it was longer!

    • jiberish profile imageAUTHOR

      jiberish 

      9 years ago from florida

      Elena & Mighty Mom, Thanks for stopping by. Sometimes you just have to laugh. Mighty....lol...If I get my bail out money...I'll get new hoo-hoos too.

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 

      9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      LOL, Jiberish. You do have a great sense of humor and present some hilarious interpretations of life and its inhabitants!

      BTW, I use this avatar because my real hoo hoos are so big men don't take me seriously. And I'm a very, very serious person:-) just like you!

    • Elena. profile image

      Elena. 

      9 years ago from Madrid

      Fun, jiberish! I wish this had been longer, I was enjoying the "this could mean" guess work a lot :-)

    • jiberish profile imageAUTHOR

      jiberish 

      9 years ago from florida

      Alex, kitty, kitty with a vengeance, funny.

    • Alexander Mark profile image

      Alexander Silvius 

      9 years ago from Portland, Oregon

      Ha ha, great hub. I change my avatar periodically, which probably means that I am not entirely stable, (as in the words of C3PO in Star Wars Phantom Menace, although he was referring to the ground!). In the mean time, the cat picture represents my grumpy spiny side, watch out for the claws!

    • profile image

      A Texan 

      9 years ago

      What can said of someone who constantly changes their avatar?

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 

      9 years ago from Southern California

      You are good, girl, keep up the good work! I'll be back.

    • jiberish profile imageAUTHOR

      jiberish 

      9 years ago from florida

      James, yours was the first Hub page I read, it caught my eye because of the art. I have been a big fan ever since. Thank you for stopping by.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      9 years ago from Chicago

      Funny! I enjoy your sense of humor. Welcome to the Hub Pages Community.

    • jiberish profile imageAUTHOR

      jiberish 

      9 years ago from florida

      Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I try to put a little humor in everything I write.

    • profile image

      Pachuca213 

      9 years ago

      That was hilarious~ And I really liked it!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)