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What are you Really saying?

Updated on August 09, 2009

No, really, I painted this.

Is it me?
Is it me?

Oh Really?

When you go to the grocery store in 5 inch heals and short shorts, you may be saying: 1) I just stopped in for condoms on my way to my other job. 2) Its wash day and everything else is dirty. 3) I have high arches and I’m looking to marry a doctor.

When Hillary Clinton went to Africa and dance after her meeting, she might have been saying: 1) I want to be as popular as my husband. 2) After a few drinks, I feel like a teenager. 3) If Bush can do it, so can I.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WO4UMMpJTk

(Hillary)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLYyMJ6XY6U

(Bush)

When you come home late from work and your dog doesn’t meet you at the door, he may be saying: 1) You’re late, I pooped on the carpet. 2) You came home empty handed, no treats? 3) A dog isn’t really man’s best friend.

When you invite your girlfriend for lunch and you offer to pay and she only orders a salad and a glass of water, she may be saying: 1) You look great, I need to loose some weight. 2) I know you’re cheap, so I won’t embarrass you. 3) I have a double fudge cake with chocolate icing waiting for me at home.

When your boss sends you an e-mail and wants you in his office at 3pm, sharp, he may be saying: 1) You have done such a great job, I’m giving you a promotion and a raise. 2) You’re doing such a fine job, and I’m so lazy, that I’m having you write my 5 reports for me. 3) You are doing such a fine job, I want to give you this note, yeah, it’s pink, nothing personal, but what the heck, it was nice knowing you.

The Avatars we use in our Hub profiles says a lot too.

When you use a picture of Brad Pitt, you might be saying: 1) I’m a short 500 pound guy who lives in my mothers’ basement. 2) My teeth are too yellow to use my own picture. 3) I can pretend I’m cool, smart and sexy, maybe I’ll get more fan mail.

When you use a half dressed woman with big Hoo-Hoos, you may be saying: 1) No one ever looks me in the eyes anyway, might as well make use of them. 2) I wish I had enough money to get implants. 3) Who need brains with a chest like this.

And finally, I changed my Avatar picture because: 1) I died my hair and it turned green. 2) The relocation program isn’t working. 3) I can lie about my age now.

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    • profile image

      Pachuca213 7 years ago

      That was hilarious~ And I really liked it!

    • jiberish profile image
      Author

      jiberish 7 years ago from florida

      Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I try to put a little humor in everything I write.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

      Funny! I enjoy your sense of humor. Welcome to the Hub Pages Community.

    • jiberish profile image
      Author

      jiberish 7 years ago from florida

      James, yours was the first Hub page I read, it caught my eye because of the art. I have been a big fan ever since. Thank you for stopping by.

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      You are good, girl, keep up the good work! I'll be back.

    • profile image

      A Texan 7 years ago

      What can said of someone who constantly changes their avatar?

    • Alexander Mark profile image

      Alexander Silvius 7 years ago from beautiful, rainy, green Portland, Oregon

      Ha ha, great hub. I change my avatar periodically, which probably means that I am not entirely stable, (as in the words of C3PO in Star Wars Phantom Menace, although he was referring to the ground!). In the mean time, the cat picture represents my grumpy spiny side, watch out for the claws!

    • jiberish profile image
      Author

      jiberish 7 years ago from florida

      Alex, kitty, kitty with a vengeance, funny.

    • Elena. profile image

      Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

      Fun, jiberish! I wish this had been longer, I was enjoying the "this could mean" guess work a lot :-)

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      LOL, Jiberish. You do have a great sense of humor and present some hilarious interpretations of life and its inhabitants!

      BTW, I use this avatar because my real hoo hoos are so big men don't take me seriously. And I'm a very, very serious person:-) just like you!

    • jiberish profile image
      Author

      jiberish 7 years ago from florida

      Elena & Mighty Mom, Thanks for stopping by. Sometimes you just have to laugh. Mighty....lol...If I get my bail out money...I'll get new hoo-hoos too.

    • profile image

      Penelope 7 years ago

      That is so fun. I wish it was longer!

    • jiberish profile image
      Author

      jiberish 7 years ago from florida

      I'll make another soon. Thank you.

    • awsydney profile image

      awsydney 7 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      This painting will go well with a modern zebra rug I have in my guest room. :) Well done.

    • jiberish profile image
      Author

      jiberish 7 years ago from florida

      It's for sale!

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 7 years ago from malang-indonesia

      nice painting,I like art. I like painting also. But with my activities in teaching, I stop this hobby. I this pianting looks simple, but there is a meaning behind it. By the way, what does it mean? just only zebra or something.

    • jiberish profile image
      Author

      jiberish 7 years ago from florida

      Thank you for noticing. It's a close up, it does not mean anything,it was taken from an actually photo of a zebra at the New York Zoo.

    • BJC profile image

      BJC 7 years ago from Florida

      You are awesome!! Love your writing and enjoy seeing you in the forums.

      Yes, you can come over for coffee anytime!

    • jiberish profile image
      Author

      jiberish 7 years ago from florida

      BJC, back at you!

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