ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

What is expected in relationships/marriages

Updated on April 14, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

A relationship and a marriage requires effort and patience

Married for love, money, or to bare his child, you will not have that perfect marriage, or relationship.

Don't live in a dreamland face up to reality.

Ignoring reality is living in denial.

  • Why live in denial?

You need to be upfront with your feelings don't hide away from what you have to face in your daily life.

Don't wait too long to make your words heard.

There is no right time or place to let out your emotions.

Come right out with it.

Be private but also make your partner know what is hurting you and show your true feelings toward each other.

  • It is all part of your relationship or marriage.

Don't be doubtful.

If you feel something is wrong get it off your chest. You either accept each other or let go of one another.

Once you know the truth of the matter everything can feel good again.

Problems are faced daily with couples.

From a traditional housewife to a celebrity of the times they have experienced issues in their relationships or marriages.

There is no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed.

Small problems lead to big ones if you don't talk about it.

Your expectations are often too high and that can make you fall your hardest.

Keep it cool!

Don't pick up after him as he won't pick up after you.

Though you can make compromises.

Don't argue about every little moment when not taken care of like you always do.

You will gradually get to the point where you have to let go of unnecessary arguments or disagreements.

You don't want to feel unloved or unheard.

Avoid that feeling of under-appreciated, and of the controlling moods.

You know that you mean good he won't think like you or do like you.

The little irritable moments can drive you up the wall but don't let that get to your head.

There has to be something about you that makes him feel irritated with and has not yet mentioned it.

You will feel connected with your partner if you don't pay attention to what annoys you.

People grow differently and grow apart if they fail to see the love they have for each other.

Don't use harsh tones.

  • For example:

''My dad was a gentleman and had helped my mother.''

You don't want to go down that road.

When he sits there lazily and does not take his dirty plate to the sink that can be the most annoying behavior.

Remove it but if that goes on and on then leave it there for days and see what happens.

If the dirty plate has not been moved from its place then it is time to discuss the situation.

Bear in mind no two people can see everything in the same way,

Things change all the time and you can't avoid change.

It is all a two-way road it is for all partners.

Certain issues are worth discussing and there are some issues that are not worth getting into. You don't always see it right away.

You all have bad habits to live with try to be happy.

You don't expect the perfect fairy tale marriage or relationship like what you see in the movies.

  • If all relationships or marriages were so perfect why the many divorces?

  • Who is not messy?

You can't always blame him for that mess. No home can be clean all the time.

You too leave some items lying around the home and not put into the correct places as it should have been,

  • Why moan about every detail in the home or in your life?

Sometimes you too fail to comply with the needs around the home. Blaming him for what you failed to do is not how you should solve your disagreements.

There is no need to always pick on your partner for what is often so wrong in your eyes.

Communication is a problem for many relationships and shutting each other out is often the path chosen.

That can make both partners feel helpless.

  • Do you feel unloved by your partner?

Unconsciously you can feel unloved if were raised in a problematic family.

You must try to work out your relationship clearly and from all opinions.

Walking away is not the way to get out of your mess.

When you choose to walk away the same old routine will be repeated into another relationship.

This meaning that you haven't learned from your mistakes.

I wrote this hub on the spur of the moment.

The words just came out flowing and I had to get everything out in the open.

You can fall in love and fall out of love but you won't forget who were in love with for all times.

When you feel upset take time out and let that moment go.

In trying to bang your head against the wall to make it all right won't work out as you want it to be.

Raising your voice is another major part of what you choose to do in your marriage.

  • Who wants to be the loudest?

Take turns to walk out the room when in a rage that should help you out. Do it if you want to keep your relationship together.

Too much can throttle you at times that is why counseling can be another option to keep yourselves bonded like old times.

It all depends on how long you are together to have that time to sort out your behaviors.

It is time to focus on you and him not on the broken promises.

When you lack his touch or love everything can fall apart easily.

During the worst times in a relationship you do tend to feel unloved or unheard even under-appreciated.

The key is to focus on the present.

You need to feel the connection with your partner.

  • What happens when you feel under appreciated?

If you feel your hard work is not noticed interest can be lost. When interest is lost you start to take you relationship for granted.

Your attitude of everything does play an important role with you and the other person.

You will feel most appreciated when you talk it out.

Thank each other for any deed taken into consideration.

  • Are you feeling controlled in your relationship?

When two people decide to live together before marriage at least one of the partners will feel controlled by the other.

  • For example as in the following case:

He shouts out to her to get him a beer. That tone is taken as control by her.

Most relationships don't go further due to controlling issues.

That is not what a relationship is all about.

''Hey you bring me that glass.''

''Pass me that tool.''

''Can you sweep up that mess?''

If one of you were raised in a family with controlling parents this kind of behavior can affect you in later stages. Mostly these problems are found when one starts their own relationships.

Control is a problem in relationships.

They able the situation differently.

The person actually saying it may not be behaving in that way.

The commitment made to the relationship will have greater effects on what you show to your responsibility.

  • Do you lack intimacy?

Certain argumentative conversations can cause you to be stressed out and to feel helpless.

The lack of love and care can make you lose interest in your partner.

The constant discussion about money can ruin any relationship never mind of what it could do to your marriage.

  • Why did your partner one day just pick up and move on?

In many cases one of the partners can't stay with the other anymore. The lack of intimacy draws two people apart.

He gave her everything she ever wanted but that was not enough in their relationship and the sad part about it he did not see what he had failed to deliver to her.

One day she left him and he did not even know the reasons for her leaving him.

Sometimes certain men can be selfish and not point out their mistakes in such situations she won't tell him.

He neglects her without knowing is another unnoticed aspect. She expects him to know unfortunately, that is often not the case.

Leaving becomes the only option.

  • Ever thought why your partner flirts with another?

It can be him or her they will flirt to get the attention of another.

They feel alone and the lack of attention from their partner makes flirting their choice to feel playfully happy.

It is a kind playfulness partners don't get anymore from each other.

Both partners have issues with each other about something or the other.

Sometimes one partner can think the other is far to friendly with the opposite gender.

Changing each other does not mend it.

Your partner will never be what you want them to be that does not mean you should change their ways.

  • Where is fairness in a relationship/marriage?

The problem can sometimes be about who will help out with the daily chores or who will fetch the kids from school.

Negotiating can take a toll on you.

All that decision making can be difficult to apprehend.

Complaints can get bigger and bigger.

Couples can get into a routine of observing who is right and who is wrong.

Who is fair and who is not fair.

In comparison to one another of who is getting it all together or who is not getting the whole idea of a relationship.

The focus is on when you want to draw the line is another argument to swallow.

If you look at your relationship in that way you are going down.

It takes two to tango as it will in all relationships or marriages.

  • What is dangerous to any partner in a relationship?

Criticism is very dangerous to any partner it can completely destroy your whole being.

You should not attack the other in any situation.

If you feel you don't want to go on then go for that long waiting affair. If you want to destroy a relationship completely use criticism.

Criticism would work wonderfully into breaking up your relationship or marriage.

When you make your partner look or feel belittled whether, in the presence of others or when just the two of you are together. The whole concept can have a permanent hold on their minds.

The person can close off their communication window and become silent.

Anger can set in when one is criticized. Talking about the problem becomes less and less.

If you make an indirect comment that is being sarcastic and when you continue in this manner you are putting that person down on their backs.

By behaving in this way you end up losing respect for one another.

Communication helps out but not all the time.

Sometimes communication can worsen the problem.

Some irritable behaviors never change. Changing someone is not an idea either.

Change the way you think and do.

The same issues can pop up over and over it may sound insane but that truly goes on in many relationships/marriages.

  • In the following example as follows:

She feared abandonment that stemmed from her childhood and managed somehow to take in the same issues over and over again.

Even though they have been together for over seven years there were still the same complaints to be heard of.

They recently went on a trip and a great time.

He was fully aware of her fears of abandonment and of her childhood problems.

The couple did not feel good around each other and after the trip he decided to take off. He left her some cash and went his way.

He could no longer take her behavior.

Annoying habits from couples

Love says it all

How do you hold your Relationship/Marriage together?

See results

Relationships and Annoying Habits

© 2014 Devika Primić


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi mothersofnations, thank you for the vote up and shared. Great thoughts from you and I appreciate you stopping by. All my best to you.

    • mothersofnations profile image

      Mothers of Nations 

      4 years ago

      "Bear in mind no two people can see everything in the same way"

      Very, very true! But if the two of you truly love and respect each other you'll do your best to try to understand the others perspective and come to an agreement that works for both of you. If the two aren't doing this together, it's likely the relationship is going to fall apart in due time.

      Sometimes couples just aren't able to see eye to eye, and in that case it's ok to separate and move forward. It's not a failure - it's simply incompatibility and that's ok. That happens in all sorts of relationships: family, friends, co workers.

      Interesting article. I know some who could definitely benefit from reading this. Voted up and shared! God bless you.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      midget38 thank you for stopping by always appreciated.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      4 years ago from Singapore

      I agree. It's all compromise, respect and trust. Am in my 12th year of marriage and I'd say it's exactly that!

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      MarleneB thank you for sharing your valuable opinion at my hubs have a good day.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 

      4 years ago from USA

      It seems like in every relationship both people in the partnership must compromise. I don't know how it would work otherwise when two people come together with their own set of habits, it's hard to let habits go or hard to change them. Still, it must be done or else the relationship will be one where one person feels cheated. Nice hub filled with a lot of good advice.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi D.A.L. nicely thought of. I try to write from my observations and accomplish the truth in it all. Thank you for the vote up, interesting and useful. I appreciate all your kind comments.

    • D.A.L. profile image


      4 years ago from Lancashire north west England

      " You either except each other or let go" this along with respect is very important in any relationship, but especially marriage. Any one who has doubts or needs advise on relationships, I would tell them to read DDE on hubpages. Voted up, interesting and very useful.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      WriterJanis thank you for stopping by here.

    • WriterJanis profile image


      4 years ago from California

      You have a lot of good insight here.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      m abdullah javed Thank you kindly for sharing such an encouraging comment.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      AliciaC thank you for taking the time and sharing your wonderful words.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is so much involved in maintaining a healthy relationship with another person. You have some good suggestions to help people, Devika.

    • m abdullah javed profile image

      muhammad abdullah javed 

      4 years ago

      Hi Devika, excellent hub, the invaluble elements for a better marriage are quite apt in the sense these are binding forces in all situations, when mood is off these elements help in refreshing the mood and when in good mood the love make them feel even better. Thanks

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      billybuc thank you for pointing out the important tips here your comments are well-appreciated.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi always exploring, I so agree with your comment. Thank you very much for stopping by at my hubs.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi FlourishAnyway, great to have you here once again thank you kindly and have a good Sunday.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Jodah so true about the money issue often it is the evil in any relationship. Thank you for sharing such a meaningful comment. You know how to encourage me on my topics.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I greatly enjoy the format you use in these articles....respect...honesty....truth....and love...these are the foundations of a successful relationship.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Interesting topic. I am a firm believer in truth and respect, if that is not in the relationship, there's a serious problem...Thank you..

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      4 years ago from USA

      Respect and kindness are the underpinnings of a good marriage. Life is too short to stay in a relationship that isn't working for either partner.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      4 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey Devika, every couple whether new or old should read this hub. You give very wise relationship advice. No one is perfect and you shouldn't expect your partner to be either. We will all do small things that annoy our partner and most of the time I fell "don't sweat the small stuff" ...if something annoys you but it isn't really a big deal, just fix it yourself. If it continues, discuss it, but just realise you probably do things that annoys your partner as well that he or she may not mention. It's a two way street. I find if you keep up the intimacy everything else seems to fall into place. p.s. Don't talk money unless you really have to :)

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      word55 thank you kindly for sharing such thoughts here.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi RachaelOhalloran so glad you could stop by. Your opinions are always valuable to me. Thank you very much.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      jtrader thank you for sharing your comments at my hubs. Have a great weekend.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Ericdierker thank you very much for stopping by

    • word55 profile image

      Al Wordlaw 

      4 years ago from Chicago

      Wow Devika, you'd make a good realationship/marriage counselor. Thanks so much for sharing so much.

    • RachaelOhalloran profile image

      Rachael O'Halloran 

      4 years ago from United States

      If couples are not happy, can't work out their differences, and express a desire to move on, they should. Staying in a bad relationship is unhealthy and can make a person truly ill.

      If an offending partner just has annoying habits, talking it out should help put things back to normal. If it doesn't, then maybe the offending partner needs to decide if he likes where he is living - with or without fringe benefits!

    • jtrader profile image


      4 years ago

      "Don't pay attention to what annoys you". So true. If we focus only on what we don't like we will overlook the good things that attracted us to our partners in the first place.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Very interesting insight into living with bad habits.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)