- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
What is Great Sex ?
What It's All About...
There are many opinions and ideas about what great sex is about. Some may think that great sex is having a lot of sex with a lot of people. Others think that the kinkier the better, and their sex life resembles a poor recreation of what they have seen in movies. Others prefer their own company and don’t have to deal with a real relationship. None of these things appeal to me and I have my own ideas about what great sex is all about.
For starters, great sex is only great when two people care deeply about each other and are committed to each others' happiness.
Great sex starts with a great approach (see my Hub on “How to Approach Sex With your Wife”). Asking “Hey woman, when am I gonna get some?” is not a good idea. Telling your wife how beautiful she is, or telling your husband how much you admire him is a great way to start. Helping your partner with chores during the day and refraining from criticism helps set the stage for great sex.
Satisfying sex is about giving to your partner the same enjoyment that you receive, being selfless and giving.
Awesome sex is about learning what your partner likes and dislikes. It’s a lesson in progress and the learning is never done. It’s about asking the right questions, truly hearing your partner’s answers and putting it into practice. It’s not being afraid to get it wrong and to try again.
Feeling Good In Your Body and Connecting
People who engage in great sex feel good about their bodies and don’t feel embarrassed in front of their partner. Having a perfect body has nothing to do with great sex! Feeling comfortable in your own skin and knowing how to use your body is the key! People like this know their partner loves their body and isn’t critical of the stretch marks or the extra tire around the middle!
Connecting on every level is an important part of great sex. If sex is just a physical act, it becomes mechanical and empty. Being connected emotionally with your partner while engaging in sex takes it to the next level! Sometimes a couple may even feel connected psychically and spiritually during love making. What a huge difference between this kind of sex and just “doing it” with whoever!
Trusting the person you are making love to is essential. I’m not just talking about trusting them to be faithful, although that is crucial. Trusting your partner to not belittle you or criticize you, or to hurt you in any way is important to be able to enjoy sex fully.
At Any Age!
Great sex can happen at any age. It isn’t reserved for the young and beautiful! Many older couples find that their sex life is much more satisfying than when they were younger, because they know each other better, they feel more settled with each other, and they don’t have the responsibility of children and other stressful distractions to deal with.
Music, chocolates, and a little wine may help set the mood but they’re not necessarily going to guarantee great sex. A caring attitude, a good approach and being connected on as many levels as possible is ultimately what it’s all about!